And thats how Adam and Jim became best friends for the next 30 years.
They kidnapped each other.
I still don’t understand sports fans and how they interact with each other. I just buy my thing and leave, maybe talk for a bit if its an item that would imply same hobbies or something but I the only place I’ve had drinks with randos is at a vegas card table and even that was uncomfortable.
“Hey, wife sent me, you have some ‘lamp’ I think?”
“Yeah wife sent me, she said this is the lamp.”
“Lol wives amirite?”
“Yeah lol, and right when I’m trying to watch the damn Hawks game today!”
“Oh Hawks fan huh? I want to watch that game too, wanna hit a sports bar and grab a few brews over it?”
“Yeah let’s go, got a B-Dubz down the road.”
End scene.
followed by a cinematic sex scene wrapped up with a lamp cut and this guy flopping around it?
imply same hobbies or something
They’re both into the same team so probably wearing a Jersey or something for game day. Something to talk about. The situation with the spouses was also an easy ice breaker.
Kind of rude of the wife’s to send them out when the game is going to be on.
Probably had time to do it before it
I still don’t understand sports fans and how they interact with each other.
“Did you see that ludicrous display last night?”
How do you have a football site and NOT list the NFL or college teams as an option? I do t recognize any of the leagues on that list.
Because the rest of the world insists, wrongly, on calling soccer football, and handegg “american football,” even though that’s an emo band and not a sport. Also probably because the original joke from the IT Crowd was about soccer.
The thing about Arsenal is, they always try to walk it in!
And by home, he means Jim’s place 💝
This is honestly so heartwarming. Adult dudes have such a hard time meeting other guys, this actually makes me happy seeing two dudes just meet and say hello
The real story is the women setting up their husbands with each other 🥰
When two straight couples become two gay couples. Tale as old as time.
Two males have any sort of positive interaction with each other
Weirdos: Wow so GAYSaying it in a positive way doesn’t really make it better. Normalize men being able to enjoy each other’s company without assuming they’re falling in love or lusting after each other, sheesh.
But see, every human social interaction these days is viewed through the lense of “must have sexual undertones.”
That’s why it’s hard to go in public/make eye contact with strangers without someone glaring at you and accusing you of something nasty…
Normalize men catching all kinds of feelings for one another.
Don’t have time for too much complex thought right now but just wanted to say THANK YOU.
I feel like pop culture has really fed into this nonsense, where every scene between anybody is written/filmed as “ship-bait”.
This idea people can’t be friends without underlying sexual tension feels a lot like “you can’t just enjoy something without putting it online and side-hustling it.” And it sucks.
It feels like another extension of how everyone sees every single human interaction as transactional anymore.
Agreed
But dude should check in with his wife if he’s just gonna not come home suddenly
Wife was already stalking his location, is fine
Plot twist, he was the kidnapping target and he never returned from that bar
Jim and Adam now live near Seattle and adopted a dog.
Hey, wanna hang out?
Do you have hotwings?
You’ll have to tell me how hot these wings are.
Bird wings are hotter than bat wings, IMO.
uwu
I met a fellow in my neighborhood by happenstance. We happened to be crazy similar. He was really cool.
I felt bad not really getting around to checking in on him more often. I was shy and afraid of what I didn’t know, or making a fool of myself. But damnit he was a really cool guy…
Occasionally I’d catch him with his garage door open and we’d have a chat. (You gotta understand, nobody interacts in this neighborhood.) We met because I was out running in the rain like a crazy guy (we rarely get rain lol) and HE decided to introduce himself to me as I ran by his house LOL.
So anyway…I saw he hadn’t responded to my Merry Christmas text.
…And just a week ago or so I got a text from his wife that he had passed away from an aneurysm 4 months prior.
When I brought her flowers for him, she told me he had said that he thought. . .that I was very cool. . .
Why I’m sharing this:
I know it’s awkward sometimes trying to make new friends as an adult, but also it’s foolish to simply assume tomorrow is guaranteed. Do that hangout. Plan the game night. Talk about random stuff in the backyard. Whatever.
You will never regret more time spent in fellowship and good company.
I would have been a really good friend to him if I just reached out more…
The loneliness epidemic is absolutely real, and this isolating society is killing us all by design and it breaks my heart.
That is all.
Wow, this comment chain went from heartwarming to depressing real fast. I’m sorry you lost your friend.
The loneliness epidemic is absolutely real, and this isolating society is killing us all by design and it breaks my heart.
That’s true, but internet pseudo-feminists seem intent on declaring that the loneliness epidemic isn’t real and is just made up by the manosphere to oppress women.
(This isn’t a statement against feminism, but the idea that anything that hurts men is feminist isn’t really feminism)
Hah, sorry, I didn’t mean it to be depressing. True, I was kinda venting a painful experience but . . .my sincere hope is that someone might learn from my mistakes, and finally stop putting off spending time with people who matter to them.
There will always be excuses to put it off til “next time”, “one day”, “eventually…”, but we don’t have forever to get over them, and we need our fellows more than we ever have.
And yeah, the terminally-online are a frightening combination of “ferociously bitter” and “obsessed with being ‘a part of something’”, that they actually rejoice in the suffering of others as if oppression is some kind of football game.
I want no part of whatever someone like that is selling.
If I could get them to realize one thing, it would be that feminism isn’t about women participating in patriarchal structures of oppression as oppressors; it’s about abolishing patriarchal structures of oppression.
If I got a bonus thing, it would be getting them to realize that patriarchy also harms men, that toxic masculinity harms men (and can be perpetuated by women), and that only a relatively small percentage of men can be categorized as “oppressors.”
An oligarch is an oligarch, whether man or woman. And bullying a vulnerable man because he’s an easier target than an actual oppressor is not “smashing the patriarchy.”
Thanks for sharing that story, we should all try to get to know our neighbours a bit Better.
Ngl I remember even highschool being a hell for making friends because there was this 70% they will turn out to be andrew tate fans after.
Is this normal that wife has a tracking gps on husband?
Mine does, but that only started after a severe hypoglycemic incident during which I have no memory of about 2 hours, drove about ten miles, wrecked my card, and was found on a sidewalk. EMT report says my sugar was unmeasurably low and it took an IV and peak gel to get it up to 35., which is where it was when my memory comes back coherently. First thing I remember at that point was the sting of the IV in my arm and then my finger, seeing the 35, the EMT noticing I was looking at him and getting a battery of general awareness questions.
So just cause I can’t tell this story very often. One time when I was hit in the head particularly hard in middle school when the teachers were trying to give general awareness questions one of the ones I was close to asked “Tell me about the Mycenaean Greece” because he knew I can unironically bullshit those questions in my actual sleep. So I rant for about 5 minutes look at my hands say give me a few and proceed to zone the fuck out for about 10 minutes before growling out “Aight and we’re back” which is around when I actually have memories of the incident.
According to one of the security guys who basically had the job of keeping us from making chemical weapons in the toilet again, it was probably the most bizarre thing he had seen since Iraq. He was an Army medic veteran.
I would ask about the “again” on the chemical weapons in the toilet thing, but I was the kid that played with low grade explosives and chemistry “projects” at that age. Got annoyed when my homemade napalm was caustic enough it started to eat through the container I’d made it in.
The actual story is that a couple of guys broke into a cleaning locker that was in the bathroom (school was old had weird set up) wherein some of the dumber smart guys decided to mix ammonia and bleach in a toilet. Funny enough I was the source of that problem and also how it was noticed because I spread the knowledge of that particular bit of chemistry, and was laughing my ass off at the fact that the toilet was at that point actively hazard due to mustard gas.
Well, they’re selling it to the advertisers, why not your wife too?
Sort of? If you are in a trusting relationship who cares? It’s simply convenient to check where your spouse or kids are without having to wait for a response.
The only reason me and my wife don’t do it is because we don’t trust the apps not to scoop up our location data and sell it to everyone.
Doesn’t leaving location on drain phone battery at a higher rate?
Yes, kinda. But that’s what chargers are for. ☺️
not really a problem on modern phones. i got a fairphone 6 and my phone lasts the whole day with Bluetooth, GPS, NFC and whatnot all active
Not really. Your phone is already doing location checks every few minutes for a variety of reasons, so it doesn’t really affect it unless you have rooted your phone and hunted down all the little bullshit things that trigger location checks.
You know you can just turn off location services right? Pretty sure even iPhone has the option
Turning off your GPS will not turn off location sharing to Google or other people, it will just fall back to using cell towers and wifi. Admittedly, it will be much more inaccurate, but it will still try it’s best. You can also turn off wifi and even data service itself to save energy. Although at that point you might as well just turn off the phone.
But I wasn’t talking about system level shutdowns. I want talking about in comparison to your standard level of activity. If you have your GPS on for anything like maps or anything else, you aren’t going to see a noticeable difference with personal location sharing on.You can turn off higher level location services at the OS level, but at the radio level the cellular network will always need a precise enough location to handle tower handoffs and timing issues between the tower and phone, as well as modern beam forming techniques where the tower “aims” the signal at the phone. The simple act of the phone communicating with a specific tower tells the phone where it is (sometimes with surprisingly high precision).
911/emergency services also use more low level location techniques, but I’m pretty sure those functions don’t get called unless you dial an emergency number.
You’re getting way too far in the weeds on this, man. They’re asking if you can turn off GPS to save battery
I’m giving some reasons why turning on or off location services at the OS level doesn’t appreciably change battery life.
Yeah, my wife would turn it on when she’s in an “uncertain” neighbourhood.
I used to think this was crazy but my skin is brown so I’ve had to let my partner have my location so they can track me in case I get got by ICE.
I just got a new iPhone. It offers the option during setup, to leave your location on for your designated family. I left the box checked yes because it was the default and I had no strong feelings about it.
Pretty much. It’s great as I get an alert when she’s 5 mins from home so I can peel myself off the sofa before she’s back and look productive.
The best deals are worth the risk of dying
I’m a bully, bearded, outdoorsy dude, and you can describe a lot of my friends in a similar way.
Once upon a time, one such friend had a few trees on his property that needed to come down (damaged by storms, emerald ash borer, etc,) so he made a decision to have a “lumberjack day”
The plan was simple, we’d all show up with axes and saws and other implements of destruction and cut down these trees and chop them up to manageable sizes.
We also all kind of had the same idea that we’d show up in flannel shirts and suspenders in hopes that our one friend (coincidentally my now-wife, though we had not yet even begun to think about dating) who was sort of our unofficial group photographer, would show up with our camera, and we could get some cool shots of us being rugged badasses and maybe a group picture.
Sadly, she had to work that day, so no pictures exist.
I decided for this occasion that I wanted a big ol’ double-bit felling axe. It just seemed appropriate.
Now I could have gotten one from a hardware store if I just wanted a prop, but I did want an actual usable axe. Most new axes you can easily get your hands on these days just aren’t that great unless you’re willing to shell out some decent money (they’re not outlandishly expensive, but certainly more than I could afford at the time as a 20-something pizza guy)
Which meant that I’d be looking for a used axe. This was something I’d already been keeping my eye out for at yard sales and flea markets and such but unfortunately I was coming up empty. So with Lumberjack Day fast-approaching, I turned to craigslist.
And sure enough, I found a guy selling axes. Quite a lot of axes in fact, I suspect this guy had been snatching them up from the same flea markets I’d been hunting at before I got a chance. He’d clean them up, hang a new handle if needed, and sell them. His sharpening skills left a bit to be desired, but I’m handy enough with a file and whetstone so that didn’t matter.
We exchanged some messages, he sent me some pics of what he had, and we arranged a time for me to swing over to his house to buy an axe from him.
So one Sunday morning I swerved over to his house, not thinking to tell anyone where I was going.
From the pictures he sent, I kind of thought he had these axes in a shed or garage.
Instead when I went there and knocked on his front door he invited me inside and told me the axes were in his basement.
I step inside his living room, and this man had no furniture.
We go down into the basement, and every wall and float surface is covered in axes (and some similar hand tools- hammers, hoes, picks, shovels, etc)
I think this may have been some kind of serial killer’s lair.
But, luckily, I did not get axe-murdered that day. Instead I checked out his wares, handed him $60, and walked out with a rather nice vaughan axe that was probably from around the '60s
Took it out to my car, sat there for a minute considering my life choices, and went on my merry way.
Then a week or two later I put that axe to good use at lumberjack day. It’s a good axe, I still have it and find some good excuses to use it from time-to-time.
So anyway, he may possibly be a serial killer, but I do recommend Craigslist Andrew if you ever need to buy a decent used axe at a fair price.
a moth wrote this comment
spoken to a wizard, who was polishing their orb
Oh hey, have you guys heard of this thing called “lemmy”? It’s part of the fediverse. You might enjoy the memes!
We have beans, jeans, and no pooping, unless they were all taken away on Taylor Swift’s jet.
I’m sad that that “no pooping” guy never explained himself.
Maybe he was sacrificing his colon for the well-being of the fediverse.
Bro can’t even text his wife that he isn’t coming straight back home? Wtf?
Do you need to know where your partner is 24/7?! That feels suffocating. These people even have location sharing turned on and she knew he was at Buffalo Wild Wings before she even asked
It would be polite to text, that’s all. When you live with someone and they’re expecting you home with the item you went out to get, you should text if that’s not the case. No big deal but it’s a little rude not to.
But bro what the fuck! He literally can’t even! That sounds like a massive deal to me! People literally never forget things or get swept up in the moment! Wtf?
He’s not a child that gets so overexcited he forgets his whole original plan ffs.
How do you know? Aren’t adults allowed to be overexcited? Are we supposed to lose excitement when becoming adults?
You’re supposed to learn as you grow so that your excitement doesn’t dominate your whole being to the detriment of other stuff.
The detriment of not updating someone else on your every move? Someone, who as you could see here, can very easily ask what’s up if they want and get an answer probably a few seconds later?
I don’t think they were implying that at all. Instead imagine the situation where you send your spouse into a burning building and then they go out the back door and don’t call you. If the wife was afraid the seller was a murderer, this isn’t a case of needing to know where their partner is 24/7. It’s knowing where their partner is after what they view is a very unsafe situation.
One could argue that thinking the woman selling a lamp on Facebook marketplace is a murderer is an unusually paranoid thought
Frankly, I can easily imagine them going “hey let’s got for a beer and see which one of our two paranoiacs freaks out first”.
Maybe a lamp isn’t worth sending your husband to ‘certain death’ then. If you’re really that concerned about buying off FB marketplace just go to HomeGoods™ ffs, they’ve got lamps too.
Guess that is more of an indication of her priorities, “a possible chance at a discount on this mass produced lamp is worth the chance that my husband literally dies.”
Sorry, pal, i wont fall for your moving goalposts.
Your dumb comment isn’t even related to mine. Nice bait thoChecking my location is a less distracting way for my husband to know if I’m safely on my way home than texting or calling me while I’m driving. She might have thought his phone had been stolen because he hadn’t planned on getting wings.
It’s an hour, man. Don’t be weird.
Sure, but it’d be nice to let your wife know that you’re okay when you’re in a potentially dangerous situation lol
Although the location sharing did help lol
It’s not weird to be considerate of others.
Even if you think this is inconsiderate, I’m going to break it to you, that that wouldn’t make it weird…
dont be weird
that that wouldn’t be weird
I literally don’t know what you’re attempting to communicate. Feel free to not bother clarifying.
Someone had to stay with the kids
He should just be glad he wasn’t bringing home snails.
Or Jim 😄
This story is so wholesome. :)
Beautiful. Go Niners
Sixty Niners.
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Memes as a Service (MaaS)
Some profoundly shitty dudes in these comments.
Funny meme, depressing thread for Lemmy.
It must be so relaxing being a cis, het, white man.
That’s awfully presumptuous. Maybe Adam over here is getting some dick on the side, you don’t know his life.
“Hey honey, I fear for my life in this situation I engineered. Because of your gender I need you to go face that danger instead. BTW if you don’t do this, I will question your gender identity.”
Even in your own little bubble, your hate doesn’t make sense.
I know this obviously wasn’t your intention, but you managed to encapsulate the attitude of my ex and her family to the letter.
I grew up with food insecurity and poverty, she came from wealth. My family was always open and honest about our thoughts and feelings, her family had strict expectations and roles.
Both her and her mom would constantly engineer situations where I would be forced to prove my masculinity, regardless of how uncomfortable, scared, tired, or belittled I felt. This included things like going out to dinner during a snow storm, moving us from one apartment to another on my own, trying to convince me to physically assault someone else to “defend” her, and purchasing heavy items online that she couldn’t lift and while I was injured.
In hindsight I can see and understand how toxic that relationship was, but at the time I was excited to be receiving any positive attention from someone I was attracted to (whenever I was able to fit their mold), and didn’t know any better.
Apologies for the long rant, your comment hit the nail on the head and also apparently triggered those memories for me.
Glad to hear she is an ex.
One of the greatest feelings is having been helpful to those we care about. It’s sad that some people will abuse that to no end, and you didn’t deserve that in the slightest.
I hope you’re doing better these days. <3
Bait
Right, some more discrimination is exactly what we need to fix things.
I’m not sure I’d call it “relaxing,” but It’s definitely easy mode.
Of course, that’s why so many of the losers among us go off the right-wing/incel deep end: if you’re living on easy mode and you still manage to fail, you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself. But they can’t handle that either, so they go fucking insane desperately trying to find scapegoats.
Of course, that’s why so many of the losers among us go off the right-wing/incel deep end: if you’re living on easy mode and you still manage to fail, you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself.
I mean, if you want to think that about those who are suffering, don’t be surprised if they latch on to the first con man who feigns compassion. Since you have none.
Yeah, the pressure to never show emotion, to always be strong and never ask for help, to try not to show the distress at being inherently distrusted because so many people who happen to share the same kind of chromosomes. Totally easy mode.
Just because it’s less stressful than some other demographics doesn’t make it, in any way, easy. Just slightly less difficult.
I wouldn’t even call it less difficult. Just differently difficult.
I’ve tried both, and being Myself is harder than being a man. More rewarding, but way way more effortful.
This. Profoundly this.
I wish people would just realize this and strive to lift each other up instead of trying to one-up each other in the pity-demographic olympics.
Exactly. Different people have different challenges. A woman working in finance in NYC faces many difficulties, but so does man working at a gas station in Albania. It’s not a competition.
Uhhh not really no. Most of us were raised to hide away our emotions. I’ve been bullied for crying or being “weak”. This expectation still exists among adults and is perpetuated by both men and women (though definitely not all of them). It only takes one or two of these toxic people to turn a whole group towards toxic masculinity it seems.
Also, anywhere I go I’m aware that most women find me scary just for existing in a place. I was just out for a walk and just happened to end up on a path closely behind a woman who was also walking there. She looked behind a few times and sped up her pace, while I tried to reduce pace in order to not spook her any further. It’s not exactly nice to get the feeling that half of the population seems to immediately distrust you just for the actions of a small minority of men.
Ngl it’s a pretty sweet gig, although lately the het part has been kinda dubious.
You’re not wrong there, my friend - I stride through life on easy level knowing that nothing bad nor troublesome will ever have any bearing on me, nor my life, in any way whatsoever. It is a most relaxing life.
If it was a bear selling that lamp, none of this would have been necessary.
But then the bear would still have to be afraid of honeypots
*Rolls dice, and passes a perception check*
Hey wait a minute… you’re not some lady’s husband - y-you’re a BEAR!
But what if it’s actually a man pretending to be a bear?
I also choose the gay bear
Hello.
Feel-good story about no public safety?
“Why does your location…”
“your location” ? how does she know his location ? is there an app to track people in realtime ?
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Yes, the thing tracking and reporting your location at all times is called the wireless telephone network.
Some apps let you share what you’re already sharing with Palantir and ICE with your friends.
Those are two different things. Tracking the location via cell network just gives an approximate location, anywhere within the cell towers reception area. GPS data doesn’t get shared with anyone unless you choose to share it.
If companies want your GPS data then you have to share it with them.
Nah the new protocols like 5g use super sensitive time based encoding, the protocols wouldn’t work if the towers didn’t know your distance very accurately.
Way back in the day with actual cellular phones, yeah you could only be placed really accurately when you were in a cell overlap area.
Sure they do.
Don’t worry I’m not going to explain why that makes zero sense, you can keep wearing your fetching tin foil hat.
Me and my gf keep location sharing on in Google maps
is it like for safety ?
Yeah, just in case someone breaks down somewhere on the road. If one of us is traveling we get excited as the dot gets closer to home. Also let’s us know if we picking each other up what our trip progress is.
trust issues
Yes, multiple in fact.
Just super quick search for “app to track phone location” popped up 3 big ones.
iphones let people share location with other iphones. I know some of friends that do. Google maps and Apple maps, and Whatsapp also have live location sharing (occasionally useful).
I know tons of couples that use apps that let them look up each other’s location.
cheers okay, why not
Built into iOS. It’s called “Find my Friends”. You can (temporarily) share your location with other iOS users. For example, if you’re going to a festival with friends you can set it to share locations for the duration of the event so you can always see where they are. You an also choose to permanently share your location with family members.
The tragedy that is that in order to reliably sell something on the internet you have to draw in a bear from the woods.
Or beer* in this case
…I have to say, “beer from the woods” sounds a lot better than I’d’ve thought.
