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InterestingUsername@lemmy.ml to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 20 hours ago

Pro tip

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Pro tip

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InterestingUsername@lemmy.ml to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 20 hours ago
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  • GhostFace@lemmy.today
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    8 hours ago

    You can do a lot of things as a minor as long as you keep receipts. And I guess as long as they’re someone who isn’t wealthy.

  • Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    Nudity is not pornography… But, say, you were rubbing one out while robbing a store…

    • VeryFrugal@sh.itjust.works
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      8 hours ago

      Rubber rubbing robber

  • muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works
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    8 hours ago

    Incorrect. Only poor people cannot watch the footage.

  • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world
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    9 hours ago

    What if you’re an adult but you just strap naked minors to your body?

    Wait, no that would raise other issues I suppose.

    • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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      9 hours ago

      They legally can’t stop you if you declare that it’s an official action.

  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    I don’t think this is explicitly illegal anywhere, but related laws can be interpreted to make it so. Judges have a LOT of leeway in this area, so much so, the “kid” could be a legal adult, and also fully dressed.

  • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    If you kill a guy right at daylight savings and go home. You’re not lying when you say you were at home at 2am

    • MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip
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      13 hours ago

      In the vein of threads about genies that fuck with your wishes:

      If you kill a guy right at daylight savings and go home. You’re not lying when you say you were at home at 2am

      Picked the wrong direction of daylight savings time, so instead of rolling back to 1am it went to 3am.

  • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip
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    16 hours ago

    Where I live, nudity is not by itself considered indecent, so this would not be true.

    So, be sure to rub one out during the crime.

    • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      If a minor is provocatively nude in front of a surveillance camera, could they be prosecuted for production of child pornography?

      • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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        8 hours ago

        I wouldn’t be surprised, tbh.

    • Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      Hence why the nudist colony of all ages can be naked together. Its completely legal

    • pulsey@feddit.org
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      13 hours ago

      they called him the rubbing robber

      • Bratosch@lemmy.world
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        12 hours ago

        Nananananananana BEATMAN

    • Kairos@lemmy.today
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      14 hours ago

      In the U.S. at least a naked child isn’t obscene. Also if they masturbate on camera the police and courts absolutely can still view it.

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
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        12 hours ago

        If what OP said was actually true, then it would make investigating child porn cases nearly impossible. Someone does have to watch the footage to determine if a crime was committed, and often the people who have to do that end up having major mental health issues as a result.

  • Rose@piefed.social
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    17 hours ago

    …dunno how this works in other parts of the world, but here in Europe they’d try you as a minor and seal the evidence - which they’d do whether you’d be naked in security footage or not. It just doesn’t matter, they’d examine the evidence as a part of the proceedings nonetheless!

  • db2@lemmy.world
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    18 hours ago

    Also known as an Epstein island audition.

  • homes@piefed.world
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    18 hours ago

    Funny you mention this. I attended an all guys boarding school in the 90s.

    If there existed WebCams and the Internet, I would be a gay porn billionaire.

    Instead, I just have a lot of very fond of memories, and then knowledge that there is no such thing as a straight man. A little bit of weed, and any guy loves having his asshole licked.

    • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      Look its not gay if you say “good game” afterwards. Then its just lads winding down.

    • Ricky Rigatoni@piefed.zip
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      16 hours ago

      The truth is sometimes men are just too horny to care about whose hole or tongue it is.

      • homes@piefed.world
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        16 hours ago

        Or just too lonely

        I grew up in the 80s and we were promised a future that was gonna be awesome.

        We got a future that fucking sucks

        Just keep taking turns with your work buddy. It’s easy and it feels good.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      all guys boarding school

      no such thing as a straight man

      https://catalogofbias.org/biases/selection-bias/

      • homes@piefed.world
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        17 hours ago

        Meh. Had a gay ol’ time, that’s all I know.

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    19 hours ago

    The cops can watch it, copy it, sell it on the dark web, pass it up to their bosses, use the panopticon to find the kid in question, hunt them for sport, black bag them, rape them, force a confession through torture, and then throw the kid into the serial sexual assault wing of the state prison for 30 years.

    • potoooooooo 🥔@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      But I’m still technically innocent lol

    • binux@sh.itjust.works
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      16 hours ago

      I’m just imagining someone saying this in response to OP’s joke at a party and this is the (natural) response

      • lobut@lemmy.ca
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        15 hours ago

        whenever I see the reaction on the girls face I feel embarrassed but when I look at the guy’s face … I don’t know why I can’t help but laugh.

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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        15 hours ago

        She’s into it

        • JordanZ@lemmy.world
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          14 hours ago

          I think the lady on the other side is really into it then.

        • CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world
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          14 hours ago

          Something just awoke in her

          • joelfromaus@aussie.zone
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            12 hours ago

            Her inner voice donned a police cap.

        • binux@sh.itjust.works
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          14 hours ago

          There’s always a 10th dentist

    • JaggedRobotPubes@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      …which would be a crime so yes not a counterexample but still yes you can of course say those things if you like.

      • flandish@lemmy.world
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        17 hours ago

        history has shown that there exists a cohort of folks the concept of “crime” does not apply to.

      • GeneralEmergency@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        Don’t get in the way of Lemmites trying to be edge lords.

      • ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works
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        18 hours ago

        The investigation found no evidence of wrongdoing.

  • Björn@swg-empire.de
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    19 hours ago

    In civilised countries minors can’t commit crimes anyways.

    • cattywampas@lemmy.world
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      19 hours ago

      What does this mean

      • lime!@feddit.nu
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        17 hours ago

        in civilised countries children can’t commit crimes. anything and everything they do is automatically legal.

      • ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com
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        18 hours ago

        In civilizated countries, it’s illegal for children to commit crimes, so they can’t.

      • ElectricVocalist@jlai.lu
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        19 hours ago

        This is just casual racism, why?

  • Prunebutt@slrpnk.net
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    19 hours ago

    Just claim that it’s actually generated by Grok! /j

  • abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    19 hours ago

    That’s where your wrong, they hire people to do that.

    • lime!@feddit.nu
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      19 hours ago

      commit crimes?

      • Oisteink@lemmy.world
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        19 hours ago

        Not legally, but yeah, you can hire minors to do your crime.

        https://bra.se/english/publications/archive/2025-01-21-children-and-youth-in-criminal-networks

        • lime!@feddit.nu
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          18 hours ago

          oh i’d rather it not be minors. children have no sense of quality.

          • Oisteink@lemmy.world
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            16 hours ago

            In crime quantity can take you pretty far pretty fast

      • abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone
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        19 hours ago

        Ironically, yes!

  • qwertyasdf@feddit.uk
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    19 hours ago

    Almost down voted but realised its shitposting. You may have my upvote

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