I don’t really see the issue here. Kid could be acting out due to low blood sugar. It’s certainly a reasonable place to start.
Did the teacher expect the parents to say, “Sorry about that, we just bought new jumper cables to beat him with so it won’t be a problem anymore.”
I’m hoping this was cut off from a longer email, but if it was not she probably could’ve at least expected the parents to apologize on behalf of their kid, ensure they spoke to their kid about why it’s inappropriate to hit people, probably have the kid apologize, and depending on some other factors offer some kind of compensation for the glasses at least as a token gesture.
If your kid hit someone in the face hard enough to break their glasses and your only response is maybe they were hungry here’s how I can address that, I can potentially see why they might have done it in the first place.
There’s certainly more to the story just based on the use of the phrase, “break this routine.” Punching people in the face is a routine?
Yea completely likely there’s more going on. Sometimes kids with different needs can be more physical and it’s possible this kind of occurrence is seen as just part of the job. Not saying that’s acceptable, but it’s a possibility. With no other context though it’s not a great response if taken at face value.
That’s a false dichotomy. Reasonable responses are framed as either “kid has low blood sugar so I’m packing him a banana”, or “sorry, we’ll beat him with jumper cables”. There’s like 50 reasonable responses between those extremes.
Do you think that if you were teaching a class and one of the students punched you in the face so hard that they broke your expensive prescription eyewear, that you would actually just dust yourself off and go, “oh dear, you poor thing - are you acting out due to low blood sugar? I can go get you a banana”.
You really think that’s a reasonable response for any human?
The issue is the parents’ refusal to take responsibility for their own child’s behavior.
Which is one of the tentpole requirement of being a parent.
I suppose the reply could have been clipped, but there is no mention of a low blood sugar problem, no mention of a sorry l, just ‘little Timmy needs a super power not to be a violent prick’.
A reasonable place to start is teaching your kid that hitting people is wrong, remember teachers are people too, underpaid overworked people.
“He may be hungry from the bus ride and is acting out from this.” That is where low blood sugar is referenced.
Accidentally skipped that entire line, reading is hard.
I have doubts it’s a real email anyway. Seems like rage bait to me.
One key aspect to conflict resolution is to acknowledge the other side’s grievances, offer any appropriate apologies (being punched in the face and have glasses broken certainly warrants a heartfelt apology), and if necessary offer any remediation that would satisfy the other party (e.g. offering to pay for the broken glasses, and most importantly, suggesting that they spoke to their child to explain that behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable).
These parents did none of that, and just waved it off as if it’s okay for the kid to do this kind of thing “because they’re hungry”.
Did none of that which we can see. The email is cropped.
Well, assuming that’s the entire email that was sent, some basic level of empathy might not have been amiss. “So sorry about that, are you okay? We’ll pay for the glasses. Obviously this behavior isn’t okay; we’ve discussed it and we’re going to try…”
And just how the fuck do you know that was the ENTIRE email that was sent, rather than just a clip of the relevant part?
They also clearly aren’t holding the kid accountable for his actions. To me that’s the larger problem. Trying to address root causes is fine, but you don’t get to go around attacking people even if you aren’t feeling well. Part of parenting is teaching emotional regulation and consequences for your actions.
The other possibility is that they’re thinking of it in a defensive mindset and aren’t wanting to put anything in writing that could be construed as acknowledging fault, in case it results in a lawsuit.
“Little johnny goes around kicking dogs, but that’s society failing him, not anything we have done or latent inside him. He’s our little miracle, and we will sue you if you make him think otherwise”
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It probably would have been more reassuring to get stronger protection guarantees on the teacher’s side. Unless the plan was for the teacher to slot in as the punchable feedback loop until they eventually “get him back on track”?
Hear me out, maybe we need to teach the kid that hitting isn’t okay even when they’re hungry
Assuming this is anything above pre-k, I’d be hoping that the parents would respond with “Sorry we’ve spoken with him about this unacceptable behavior / we’re connecting with a children’s counselor to address anger issues / etc.”
If it’s at the point that I’m getting punched in the face at work, I might also be annoyed at their response being
And if this was a teacher with a real incident in a public school, you’d expect their response to involve a parent/teacher conference with administration, possibly a behavioral intervention plan or other outcomes. Email isn’t enough.
Functional people don’t punch their teacher in the face because they don’t have enough to eat. He may have had low blood sugar AND a behavioral or mental issue that needs to be addressed.
At minimum I would expect a letter from the kid as to what they did was wrong and an apology from both parents and kid. I would expect an offer to pay for the glasses. I would expect the kid to be punished severely. A good example would be selling the kids ps5 to pay for the glasses and not getting him another console this year and making him spend his free time doing unpleasant chores for a month with no outings or rewards of any kind.
This is both non-violent, moral, memorable, directly exemplifies the direct connection between wrongdoing and restitution. It doesn’t assign blame to a condition as if being hungry forced him to punch his teacher in the face.
We have no idea how old the kid is.
In a situation like this is it better to punch the kid or the parents?
Punch the parent and they might learn how to help their kid learn better.
Yes.
Jumping uppercut ala Ryu in Streetfighter
The Rising Dragon Fist, AKA “Shooooooryuken!”
You sound angry. How about eating a nice banana instead?
Bananas piss me off.
Have you tried putting them in the other end?
Do you just never know the size of anything?
Hey! This is the internet, someone will suggest to play safe, take a swing at all three.
I know I sound old, but I miss the days when I (or even my kids) went to school. If a teacher reached out to parents you knew troubles where waiting at home. Not like being beaten senseless, but a punishment was lurking in your near future which would match your wrong doing.
Took those Snickers ads way too seriously
I wonder if they saw the ad and thought “a Snickers a day will get expensive, we’ll give him a banana instead”.
After all, it’s just a banana. How much can it possibly cost? Ten dollars?
There’s always calmness in the banana stand.
Except during that time before Christmas.
People will do anything but seek out a therapist. The kid may have a behavioral disorder, and seeking referrals for conduct disorder or something is usually a joint effort since parents get defensive even when such a disorder is often biological, like depression.
Or, y’know, zero tolerance bullshit and the kid gets expelled. That’s more common in the US.
People will do anything but seek out a therapist.
Bananas are a lot more affordable (for now).
Does Venezuela produce bananas?
If this is the US, ain’t nobody can afford a therapist now.
They chose that.
How.
No, really. Specifically tell us all here how “they chose that”.
By fucking the economy so hard they most people live paycheck to paycheck, no savings, and since there’s no universal healthcare people need to pay therapy from money they don’t have.
This is by design, keep the poor poor so they don’t learn enough and get enough resources to change things. Things like fair pay and healthcare cost a lot to industries that pay lobbyists.
If the current status is costing the government more than universal healthcare, who is pocketing the difference? Hospitals, insurance companies.
Yeah, “they choose that”. “They” being the industries that pay lobbyists to make sure that “that” keeps happening, and “that” being US citizens not being able to afford therapy, in between other things.
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You missed my last paragraph. “They” does not include you, it only includes the industries that benefit from this status quo. Voting is irrelevant for this matter. Did you read my comment? I never mentioned voting.
By voting against their own interests for decades.
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Are you talking about the US, or elsewhere?
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My sister in law and her husband are these people.
She had a kid in high school was non-verbal autistic that she gave up for adoption and ignored. Her first son with her husband was definitely on the spectrum and struggled hard in social situations and in school. School actually pushed for the diagnosis, but there were the “no way. Not my kid.” Kind of people. And did nothing.
Their second kid came along and hes further along the spectrum than their other kid. He’s 6 and still not potty trained and barely talking. My 4 year old passed him developmentally a year or more ago, which seems to have been the catalyst for them to seek help.
Both kids are doing better no that theyre seeing specialist and on development plans with the school. I just cant believe they waited so long… especially because her brother has a son who is also non verbal autistic, and his parents got him diagnosed before i even knew you could see those traits in children
I mean, that depends on the age. If that kid is 7 or older, yeah, you should probably look into therapy to figure out where that behavior is coming from. 5 or 6, well, kids are still developing emotional regulation at that point. I’m not saying the reaction should be, “OK, we packed a banana,” but probably something more like, “Oh no, I’m so sorry, we’re going to have a talk about how it’s never OK to hit, have you witnessed this kind of behavior before?” then offer to pay for the glasses. (Also, packing a banana isn’t a bad idea, as well as making sure he’s getting enough sleep. 9 times out of 10, when young kid gets disregulated, they’re over-tired or hungry).
I work at a school and I received training that explicitly told us zero tolerance does not work, made me do a double take. So in at least the northern states things are changing for the better.
Yup, I teach at University in California and get to cite that. It’s a little counter intuitive for people, but it’s true and much better for teachers to understand. I imagine some places ignore data, though.
I’m here thinking people are so quick to insist on therapy. We don’t even know if they’ve tried to discipline their child like a normal parent should.
In many ways, bad parenting is often why people go to therapy in the first place, haha. That said, I’m referring to something unrelated to parenting, as there are an assortment of disorders that have little to do with parenting.
Also, discipline is tricky; parents have to use more than punishment in their toolbox, like praise for good work, modeling kindness, etc., and avoid modeling physical punishment since that tends to be the main reason a kid hit other kids… although I doubt the banana parents hit their kids.
Screening can help identify the cause of problematic behavior. In the US, that legally is required by the schools in federal law (i.e. IDEA), but obviously enforcing said law isn’t happening, even in better administrations.
Screening can help identify the cause of problematic behavior.
It’s the school. There’s no mystery here.
Expelled? If they’re Black we just send them right to prison!
Sadly this isn’t a joke
Yes, depending on the age and if police are on campus. Police tend to be permanent on some campuses for “security” but schools with them statistically show a much higher rate of incarceration. Although expulsion is also a fast track to prison, too.
Unsurprisingly, police tend to be in predominantly black schools, although even in desegregated schools (for which there are very few), it’s black students most likely to get in trouble for acting out. Socioeconomic status accounts for some of this, though.
It’s kind of amazing how nobody suspects the teacher or the school when they’re the most obvious culprits in ruining the lives of children.
Coming up on three generations now who are afraid of conflict.
I feel like I’m entering my old man phase, but it feels like we’re teaching kids to do everything they can to evade accountability as a rule.
I don’t think this is evading responsibility. I think this is a family who can’t afford mental health care for their child, and the school system is ill-equipped to handle it.
Well yeah, accountability only gets you in trouble. There’s no incentive for taking accountability.
There’s no “at least you were honest.” Even if someone unintentionally makes a genuine mistake, they’ll burn for it if it’s ever pinned to them. Just fade into the background and don’t attract notice to yourself, cause as soon as you accept blame for one thing, people will use you as a scapegoat for everything else that goes wrong.
Don’t practice self-awareness, it’ll only get you punished. Don’t feel remorse for your actions, it’ll only get you punished. That’s the prevailing and all-pervading messaging these days. Do you want to be the sorry sucker to try to reverse that trend?
The authorities never accept accountability, they just pass the buck to their subordinates. Everyone seems to follow that example, and the buck gets passed down until it can’t go any lower and the person at the bottom gets stuck with the hot potato.
This behavior is continuously reinforced by society. Anyone who expects it to be otherwise learns their lesson real quick. Never admit to being anything less than perfect, or else the consequences may follow you for the rest of your life.
I used to be a buyer for a manufacturing facility. We’d joke that if something went wrong in production, they would blame the scheduler, the scheduler would blame the buyer, the buyer would blame the supplier, and the supplier would blame our quality team.
As long as you’re not the last on the list, your job is secure.
(Our QA dept had incredibly high turnover.)
Man it’s hard to teach non-violence in an age of violence and emotional deregulation.
“it is very unfortunate that our Jaeydighn used the calming banana as a weapon but we believe it’s important for him to express himself freely and from now on we will peel it in an effort to make the impact softer for everyone involved.”
This would all go through the administration and definitely not tolerated outside a behavioral challenges classroom at my kids school.
IMO the only real reason is 80k after 20 years . And I live in an affluent neighborhood in a decently funded state.
Y best friend growing up is at 20 years and barely @ 50.
So that students end up writing better than you. 80k isn’t an absurd salary in most cost of living areas with lots of families. I’m sure there are locations where that might be considered high, but honestly I couldn’t give two fucks about any argument why teachers of 20 years should be paid well.
Teaching is not Teaching anymore, its doing the job of the breeders these days and raising their kids teaching them decent manners and how not to be a cunt.
Being a teacher is literally like adopting a class full of feral fuckin cats and trying to turn them into decent humans from the POS ipad baby version their parents have created.
Teaching is capitalist babysitting so the kids grow up indoctrinated and so the parents can waste their lives serving capital without the distraction of kids.
This is a miserable take. Either
- parents were historically solely responsible for everything a child received, including instruction, and thus you are in fact already contracting to do part of a parent’s job anyway Or
- raising children was historically a communal responsibility and you are doing what was historically done by the extended community anyway
You have beef with the disparity between the lines for who has responsibility for the child vs who has ultimate authority over the child. And that is fair! But it’s a problem with the current structure of the system, and we don’t need to harken back to some stupid lie about the good old days to justify the current impasse.
Going back to when one income could support a family and almost everyone had a parent that was at home that they could rely on is not a stupid lie.
The stupid lie is it is the parent’s fault when they both have to work 40+ hours a week (if you even have two parents), take care of the household, help with homework, and deal with the constant curve balls thrown at you by life (car broken down, major sickness, mental disease, dental issues, housing emergency, etc.)
I am lucky to maybe have a hour a day maximum to myself and that is half an hour in the morning and half an hour at night getting ready or going to bed. We are far past the breaking point for the US.
That never fucking existed. There was never a large portion of the population that made enough money for the woman to stay at home, and even when there was enough to apparently make memes about it, it was at most 2 decades.
For real people, women have always worked. In the 1950s, my maternal grandmother ran the general store they owned and lived above whole he worked in the factory, and she helped him bale hay on the weekends when it was in season. My paternal grandmother didn’t work, and they were dirt poor. She thought it was a woman’s place to stay at home and they barely kept food on the table and a roof over their heads. They got frequent financial help from her parents.
My husband: His maternal grandmother didn’t work, and the husband had a decent job. And my MiL died bitter because her parents would take all the kids’ incomes as teenagers to support the household/themselves. His paternal grandmother worked and retired from a federal job.
It’s a lie. It was a lie then to keep women suppressed, and it’s a lie now that doesn’t serve you like you think it does. The average American has always worked, and women’s work has always been discounted. The only ones who didn’t work were the wealthy parasite class.
I agree with you that the person I responded to was wrong for dumping on the parents, but everything else is just more grievance politics, but this time from the left.
You are passionate but wrong. There was a large portion of society that did this in the past and continue to do so.
In Europe almost 50% of the time children are with one parent or the other. It is very common for one parent to not work or work very little during the first five years of child rearing.
Almost a fourth of US households have a stay at home parent. With over 11 million stay at home parents in the US alone. I have a hard time understanding where you are coming from.
You also seem to confuse the issue of parents making enough to comfortably take a lot of time away from work to raise children and the fact that housework has been traditionally unpaid.
I think as a society we should recognize the need for a parent, particularly during the first five years, to be at home. We shouldn’t be penalizing people for this. Raising children is tough enough without the economic reality that you will be significantly behind your peers if you actually raise your kids.
No wonder birth rates are down. Having kids has become cost prohibitive in a society that tries to squeeze every penny out of people. We have prioritized making money to the detriment of all over raising children. The system in the US in particular is beyond broken.
I am not talking about unpaid housework, nor did I ever mention parental leave from work/ a pause in a career. I am talking about paid work. Running a general store and baling hay is not housework. Most poor women have always worked. I read the autobiography of Grandma Moses a while back. You’d probably label her a housewife, but she worked a dairy farm like a dog for years with her husband to sell milk and butter. If she’s working to make money and provide, she’s not a housewife who is free to spend her energies only tending to the family’s needs. That is a luxury.
Further, when you mention the European stat… Which I’ll take in good faith since there’s no citation… You are confusing the first five years of life (preschool) with the original comment which seemed to be about grade school kids as well as your other comments about helping with homework, etc, that also imply grade school age kids. Maybe I could buy your argument about small children, but not school age children.
My point is not to penalize people who choose/have the financial ability to stay home. My point is that it was only really ever economy viable for the wealthier people. For the left to sit around and demand it makes them seem as coddled and out of touch as when they demanded student loan repayment. You are asking for subsidized luxury goods on the backs of people who can barely provide food and shelter for themselves. And maybe you think the whole system should be restructured for the wealthy to pay for it and/ or for us to cut back on military spending to pay for it, etc. but that’s not what people lead the argument with. They lead with this expensive, privileged demand.
Most poor women did the work they knew how to. This was often housework. It was common for women to do laundry, dishes, and general cleaning for others. This was also work unless we are going to ignore its value.
I totally understand your poor women angle, but a lot of poor mothers lived in poverty without jobs taking care of their family. Sometimes it was by choice and sometimes not. I am not going to stand in moral judgement of women who were dirt poor and stayed with their family.
I get it, your stock was hard workers. They struggled despite working hard. This is pretty common as my mother’s side was literally the Grapes of Wrath because their farm went under during the dustbowl.
I am not sure you understand the struggle of raising children as you stand in judgement to trivialize other’s experiences. My wife stayed at home for several years raising our kids and we survived on one income.
Tens of millions of people who are not wealthy choose to stay at home with their children. 20% of stay home parents are men in the US. People are doing what you deny every single day and making it work.
Society and the wealthy benefit greatly from parents raising kids. The problem with the US it is extremely exploitive taking that value and not giving back with garbage childcare, uncaring employers, inflated housing, insane medical costs, etc.
I think people are crazy to have kids in the US. So that makes me insane I guess.
I am a married working mother of two. Don’t tell me what I don’t understand. I am not trying to uphold my family as some paragon of virtue. They were the most accessible anecdotes I have on hand. My point is women always worked, and the view that they didn’t is just a rewrite of history to erase them and their contributions by conservatives, and now this fake history is being repurposed by liberals as some achievable ideal. Why do you think all the early women’s rights advocates were demanding equal pay for equal work? Because they were working!
I was going to throw out anecdotes about the folks I know now where one parent has stayed home, but it didn’t help to paint the picture of how things “used to be”. But as far as what people I know do, the picture remains that it is largely a luxury of the well-off: in households where I am fairly sure the husband makes >$250k/yr, I think they do/did fine (past tense for the mother’s that still chose to go back once the children were school-aged). They don’t live extravagantly, but there is no hardship. I know a couple where the Dad stays home, unemployed not by choice. The mom makes (I think) between $200k-$250k/yr, and their finances are tight. They are managing, but it’s not great. She actually took an assignment overseas where their money would go further and more expenses would be paid by her company, but this administration ended that opportunity and they are back. The last couple I know, the husband makes maybe $100k, and it is a hardship that she thinks her role is at home and will not work. They are constantly struggling to pay rent, to pay their bills, and to buy vehicles. They frequently seek financial help from everyone they know.
Anyway, go read some Simone de Beauvoir. Historically most people were poor and most women worked. She called the women in the upper class who didn’t work “parasite women”.
Seriously. We were middle class wealthy growing up. Mom always worked. When dad was in college, she put him through his degrees. Ran a dry cleaners. When he was a fresh college grad, she did taxes. Still does taxes but is winding down her practice. She picked up bookkeeping reliable enough she ended up being an office manager for a few successful medical and legal practices. Dad ended up retiring when he could no longer work. Physically, not mentally. Mom still works, more for her health than her finances.
Gran, she always worked. She was an RN. Tough as nails, worked prisons because she took the parable of the sheep and goats to heart and was an atheist because the Christians she grew up with didn’t.
Gramgram, she was a cost accountant. Worked her whole adult life. Grumpa was a cost accountant, and when he discovered he was not one for the ladies he taught her his trade so she could make money just as well as he could, then he fucked off to San Francisco. And Gramgram, she looked after the family. Remarried, specifically a worthless lump of flesh who could help pay the bills, but she was the main breadwinner.
My wife, well when we got married she was already outearning me even before I said fuck it let’s play jazz and she said honey you supported my dreams I’ll support yours even though bwahahaha jazz really you couldn’t even be a clown so I’m not sure what your point is
- raising children was historically a communal responsibility and you are doing what was historically done by the extended community anyway
US perspective here. The problems I see:
- In many cases, the parents don’t have time to give their child the attention that they need and the “extended community” has shrunk to maybe some extended family like grandparents or aunts/uncles. This is particularly bad for those in poverty and working multiple jobs.
- Existential dread and financial uncertainty for the parents, the child, and the teachers.
- Reduced educational funding - downward pressure on teacher compensation, teachers paying for classroom supplies the school and parents can’t provide.
- Increasingly corporate structure in school districts - a focus on efficiency, metrics, test performance, etc. instead of the much harder to measure intellectual and social growth of the students. See NCLB.
- Massive, rapid-paced social and technological change.
If you need a calming banana to not punch people not mistreating you in the face you are a garbage person
SOMEONE didn’t get their calming banana!
There aren’t enough calming bananas in the universe in 2026
It’s a child, calm down lol
This is how children are treated. They’re completely controlled, disempowered, and then hated. It’s completely normalized.
This “child” could be 7 or 17, which makes a huge difference regarding the appropriateness of their response. We need more context.
Nah, even as a child that’s unacceptable. My kid is only 5 and I don’t let them hit people, and punish them when they do. The response from the parent shows the apple fell straight down
only 5… punish them
Sounds real normal and healthy. jfc. Who upvotes this trash?
It IS normal to punish 5 year olds. You don’t have to use violence to punish them. 5 years old is enough to understand consequences.
People who think you should teach kids not to hit people. And people who have enough braincells to run together to understand that punishment and violence against children aren’t the same thing.
No! Bad! No hitting children!
Punishing is much more than violence against children, and hitting them is one of the worst ways to punish for many reasons.
But it’ll get you upvotes on Lemmy apparently.
Show us on the thread where anyone advocated for hitting the kid? All I see is people assuming parents are going to hit the kid.
How about threaten to hit them with gestures?
Or maybe you talk to the kid and take away a privilege they have temporarily that is (at least close to) a natural consequence of behavior? But then again, I’m just a parent of a relatively well adjusted kid who isn’t violent and talks to me about their problems, so what the fuck do I know?
Man, the amount of people who default “punishment” to “violence against kids” is fucking stupid.
I never said it was acceptable. Do you call you’re children garbage when they misbehave? Does their behavior improve after you tell your child that you think they’re garbage? I don’t let my children hit anyone either, I just don’t call them garbage if they do.
Normal people don’t break the teachers glasses and punch them in the face. This is already major behavioral problems if your kids are school age and doing this.
Totally agree. But, normal people also don’t go around calling children garbage either.
As someone who was a child and therefore interacted with thousands of other children in public school I can confirm some children are garbage. Do you not remember school? Were all of those people ok?
I remember troubled kids that didn’t know how to handle what they where dealing with at home and internally. I don’t remember any garbage kids, no. The idea that a child was just born garbage is just cruel, I hope one day you can learn to forgive and let go of that hate inside.
Yeah, it’s unacceptable, but it’s also unacceptable to call a child a “garbage person” for acting like a child.
Regardless of the labelling, punching someone in the face is absolutely not “acting like a child”, it’s acting like a garbage person. That shit should not be tolerated or excused away to complain about labelling.
And honestly, excusing away a kid battering their teacher as “acting like a child” is pretty goddamned unacceptable too.
My little brother threw a chair at his preschool teacher. This is absolutely shit kids do, that they need to be taught is unacceptable. You don’t teach kids to be better by writing them off as garbage humans, because they’re still learning.
If you call your five year old garbage for acting out, you’re a shitty parent.
I’m always amazed at how little reading comprehension people have, or how they end up responding to things in their own head.
1 - your example of your little brother acting like an asshole doesn’t mean it’s “shit that kids do”. This is “boys will be boys” shit, and that’s not acceptable. This is like saying your little brother throws rocks at moving cars or at animals and it’s just “shit kids do”. Misbehaving kids do it, and need to be taught better, but it is not normal kid behavior.
2 - no one is saying they’re talking to the kid like that
3 - part of teaching kids to be better people is showing them there are natural consequences for their actions, which guess what? That’s a form of punishment, and it isn’t violence.
If you call your five year old garbage for acting out, you’re a shitty parent.
I ask my kid what’s wrong and work with them to find a solution, and implement natural/logical (and because crayons are needed, non violent) consequences for their misbehavior. I may use choice descriptors for their behavior when they are not in the house, but I would never speak to my kid that way.
It baffles me how many people in this thread don’t have a concept of natural/logical consequences as punishment, and it really fucking shows in the responses. But I guess when you’re raised with violence and can’t be bothered to look into alternatives, it’s easy to assume and drag people on the Internet
It’s amazing that you complain about people not reading and responding to stuff in their head, then you turn around it do it yourself.
1: I quite clearly stated that this was inappropriate behavior that needs to be educated away. I don’t know how you think my example is condoning the action. Children need to be taught to keep their hands to themselves, this is a normal part of child development. It is normal for children to have Big Emotions and not know how to use their words yet. Normal doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be addressed, it just means that every child has to have it addressed.
2: Have you not read the rest of the thread? Starting with the post calling the child a garbage person?
3: I never said anything to the contrary?
but I would never speak to my kid that way.
Then why are you defending it so hard?
You can call a kid being a garbage person a garbage person. Doesn’t mean you won’t help them and correct the behavior.
If you call your five year old garbage
It’s not enough to call them names. You gotta punish them! Didn’t you see the other comments? \s
How old is your little brother and how is his life going? If its going well I’m pretty sure it involved some intensive parenting or counseling.
What about the state locking kids in a room all day? Tolerated or no?
Sure, why not. Because all punishment is the job of the state, and no parent has the capability to punish their kid without violence, clearly.
/S for those who can’t realize punishment and violence are not synonymous
I wouldn’t call a particular kid a garbage person to or around that kid in consideration for the effect it might have on that kid. Between you and me kids who do that are a fucked up mess who probably aren’t going to end well.
You shouldn’t be in charge of anything. That’s called being complacent and leads to even worse problems.
Because I don’t call children garbage? OK lol
Garbage adults start as garbage children
I dunno about that. Usually kids start out great until garbage adults get a hold of them, and then all bets are off.
Yeah that’s what zios and nazis say about murdering children.
Okay, a garbage child then.
People are just violent apes until you raise them to be civilized.
5 year old me would never have punched a teacher just trying to teach the class
How do we know the child’s age? 5yo me was super mad at the world (neurodiverse in 1980s).
not mistreating you
You think this kid chose to be in school? It’s violent coercion from the start.
isn’t there vicarious liability for parents of their kids when the runts exhibit continuous violent behavior?
Ok great, next time your kid hits me I’m going to hit him back.
You’re an adult. Just bring your own calming banana. Duh!
Unfortunately I don’t possess any banana related super powers.
hits the kid with the banana
“Calm the fuck down!”
So like, I’ve trained martial arts briefly, right? It’s really important not to train your “I’m in danger” instincts away, because they can protect you. However, this can unfortunately lead to you punting a 7 year old.
I was spanked as a kid. I don’t think it did any good. I don’t want to spank my kids.
I must say, this does make me reconsider my opinions.
I was spanked as a kid. I don’t think it did any good. I don’t want to spank my kids.
As a parent of two very different and spectrum-y kids, it is incredible just how effective gentle parenting is. You have to be mindful of your kids’ needs, make sure they aren’t tired or hangry or just in an environment/situation that lends itself to poor decisions (and if they are, guide them towards resolving that) and dole out timeouts and losing privileges as appropriate for the individual child and situation. The other thing to remember is kids will test limits all the time, so you need to be ready to make those limits clear and make it clear when they try something new which is not okay. Mostly it comes down to consistent expectations and being clear and consistent with your and communication and punishments
Of course. I believe in gentle parenting. What do we even call the “strategy” on display from OOOP?
Strikes me almost like someone on the spectrum trying to solution when the other just wants acknowledgement and an apology. But being hangry is absolutely a thing, especially with kids so it is possible the “calming banana” might work
Yeah, please don’t beat your kids. Not only does it not work, it also damages your relationship with them and then they need to get therapy later.
I’m not going to. I don’t want to spank my kids. Trust me, I was raised on Michael and Debi Pearl. I know where that road goes.
I remember a lot of kids getting spanked at school in the '80s. Most were more worried about the additional spanking they would get at home as punishment for misbehaving enough to get spanked at school.
You don’t have to lay hands (or belts, or whatever) on your child to set and enforce strong boundaries and expectations. Kids need those guardrails to help them learn to navigate the world.
Dude school kids were awful when I was one and couldn’t understand why they couldn’t think logically. I cant imagine how bad it is now after decades of brainrot and phones in schools. I would NEVER be a teacher.
I would but no one is offering enough money for me to do that job
As a youth soccer coach, I’d take this over some of the parents I’ve dealt with. We had one girl bullying other kids and when we told the mom she refused to believe us. Even when one of the other coaches told her she overheard it. The mom just said she must have misheard.
Why do people believe this even happened? When did this happen? Which country did this happen in?
This rage bait. The users name is “johnny bananas”.
Is it faked? Probably. Is it outside the realm of possibility? Not at all. My mom spent most of her life as an elementary school teacher. I got to hear a lot of the stories about kids she dealt with. Some kids are messed up and need help. Too often their parents are too in one way or another. Mom loved all the kids, even the difficult ones. She said it would be a perfect job if she didn’t have to deal with the crazy parents and school administrators.
Definitely has an air of truthiness.
Would your mom have posted her stories to twitter if she knew how?
She might have, but cancer finally won out 15 years ago. Probably would have written some great stuff :)
“Which country” now THAT’S rage bait.
The users name is “johnny bananas”.
Yeah! If they’re lying about their name, who knows what else they’re lying about?!
Man, I hope you’re a troll, because otherwise that’s some S-tier stupidity.
Right. Because johnny bananas wrote about how s parent of their student gave their kid a comfort banana. And I’m the stupid one. Enjoy eating that onion.
