How in the actual fuck did she still have a drivers license or a car?

This is the fault of the police for failing to notice a violently-obvious pattern.

What are countries good for, anyway? Let’s all be an autonomous collective and agree to take turns acting as a sort of executive officer of the week.

Eating corn isn’t saying goodbye. It’s saying see you later.

I just love how the cat is adhered to the window.

She’s allowed to grow a beard if she wants.

“No, I am Spartacus!”

Still trying to breakup their visual profile so German U-Boats can’t spot ‘em.

Whatever you’re going through in life, just eat a banana. I promise you will feel like you’ve just eaten a banana.

British car: “By George, I’m surrounded!”

Chipotle has also outlived the Confederacy.

Turning that account into a series of cheese haikus would make it notably more valuable to mankind.

Whomever invented popcorn texturing should be brought before The Hague.

One of my favorite tracks on the original Guitar Hero.

Cleveland: “No, no, no, NO!”

How your email found me.

Cool, now I gotta listen to that song.

You found Rango.

Join us next December as we remind you that the end of 2026 is closer to the year 2050 than 9/11.

They probably sit out there in shorts.