WHAT WAS HE HIDING?
The reason for his obesity?
His heart disease
I’ve seen parasite check his bag
This reminds me of how when I was young, my dad would get us an extra order of desert when mom left to use the restroom. It was the best dad move. Ofc I was an anxiety case while trying to eat the ice cream before mom got back, it was that intense anxiety where it felt something was following you. Do you know? No. All you know is that every fiber in your being told you you needed get out of that old warehouse as soon as possible. You keep running, avoiding roots and rocks. You keep second guessing yourself. Where we alone? You look to see if Sam followed you but he’s nowhere to be seen. You swear you two looked at eachother with the same chill just moments ago. You call out to him, but you hear nothing. You slow down and turn around but the sun has already set and the trees shroud any sense of direction. You call out again, but regret it instantly.
The weight of something big is coming.
You pick a direction and go in an all out sprint. You don’t know where you are going but know whatever has been tracking you is behind you. You are now shrieking call for Sam but he is long gone. The ground below you shifts as you come to a steep decline. You stumble but catch yourself, only to find the moss on the ground won’t hold you. You slip and roll into a ravine, and as you fall your ankle hits a rock. You don’t know if it’s broken but at this point you know that whatever is behind you is worse than the pain of each step. You are limping but moving, but now you are losing ground. The bushes burst open behind you and in the shock you fall back down, firmly breaking the leg you tried so hard to ignore. You turn over while you writhe in pain to see what remained of Sam being held by what couldn’t be a man but couldn’t be a beast. He comes forward smelling the air furiously. You didn’t want to believe it, but Sam was taken and soon you will be too. In your final moments, a face finally comes 2 inches from yours.
You didn’t want to believe things could go south so fast. You didn’t want to believe Sam was dead. You didn’t want to believe you never would sleep in your bed or eat rainbow Sherbet again. You didn’t want to believe your eyes when you saw him-
Shia LaBeouf.
Anyway when mom came back dad would always take the heat for us, but he’s a funny guy and mom couldn’t stay mad for long.
Damn, how long did your mom spend in restaurant bathrooms?
She was stealing 5 gallons of pink soap.
You just dont understand, some people need to do recon missions before comitting to the charge.
Probably he’s on a diet and his wife won’t let him eat more than 1 order of meatballs.
☕
She’s gonna complain about the bill.
That’s why he says “I think I’ll try the meatballs.” You just solved the mystery. Now he has plausible deniability. I hope they have security cameras.
But it’ll probably show 3 orders of meatballs, and she saw him get 3 meatballs. He just has to keep her from looking too closely
Imagine all the time this guy saves by typing like he’s doing it with his fucking face
b4
That’s a bingo!
He’s an amateur, he typed out “ate” instead of using “8”!
But what is he hiding?
It’s sorta greentext-like
Gout, probably
I don’t know why i’m a fat diabetic
Big bones and bad genes, clearly
I know someone who’s husband would go to taco bell in secret and she would see the charge alerts on her phone.
Why his his bank account logged into her phone? Are joint bank accounts really a thing, or are the wife and I the weird ones for keeping our finances separate?
We have joint and personal accounts.
Joint account for bills, if anything were to happen to me I would like her to be able to pay bills, or even see they exist to cancel them.
Joint account for salary deposit and a joint savings on it for covering our 3 months of bills.
Personal account for discretionary spending, each month we put some pocket money in each of our personal account to blow on beer/taco bell/whatever.
My wife and I keep our finances separate too.
Except we both send money to an account that’s in my name offsetting the mortgage on the house that’s in my name too. My wife wants access to this account because she’s worried if I die the bank will make it hard to get at the cash since it’s offset and joint savings all in one.
Not to mention we don’t have wills and she’s been pushing for that for a few years.
The more I think about it, she might be planning on killing me haha
Or, ya know, she just doesn’t wanna be homeless.
Nah she has a house too she would get the house being married and all
Your wife is basically paying you rent, she should be worried about something happening to you. You’re married, just put her on the title of the house.
I’m not on the title of her house either though
Just being pragmatic, nothing to say you won’t die 5 minutes from now, which makes putting it off irresponsible at best.
All our accounts are totally joint and wife and I carry basically the same credit cards. No reason to be separate IMO. Only need one check book that way and I can pay all the bills for all the cards in one place.
No reason.
What if one one of you wants to make an expensive purchase? The wife and I avoid a lot of arguments when we can’t tell each other how to spend our own money. If I want to build a new PC? No problem! She wants to spend $500 on skincare products? Go for it.
For my spouse and I there is no “my money” and “their money”. It is all our money.
If one of us wants to make a big purchase we have a conversation about it something like, “I’ve had my eye on a new graphics card. What do you think?” Then it goes either, “That’s great. Have fun.” Or, “Don’t forget we have little Jimmy’s orthodontist bill coming up.” “Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me. Maybe later, then.”
I realize this isn’t the norm and it took us a long time to get there. Many couples, my spouse’s parents among them, argue over money and use it as part of a power play. We still have separate accounts for budgeting purposes, and around the holidays we have to be honest not to peek at bank statements and spoil surprises. But not having to worry whether you spouse is messing up your eventual retirement or little Jimmy’s college fund sure makes life a whole lot easier for me.
Expensive is pretty subjective. Anything less than about $200 no discussion required. Above that, we usually have a courtesy conversation. We’ve never had a hard no spending if one of us really wants or needs something, but a required justification or notice prevents impulse buys.
Joint also doesn’t mean you can’t have an account (or a bucket or a tally) where you save for something you want, it just means it’s not a secret.
Well if you have kids and/or need to budget as a household you kind of need to work together a bit to maintain that budget.
Some couples see the money they earn as part of the whole, there is no my money and their money. It can make sense for some for sure, in my relationship its easier to just have our money, and it doesnt really matter where it comes from.
We also expect large purchases to be discussed first, outside of like presents and surprises of course.
We just discuss these things and come to some sort of agreement.
Are joint bank accounts really a thing
They’re a thing
my wife and I are joint, just easier that way. what surprises me more is that someone would set up alerts for the low expense levels that would be triggered by Taco bell.
I don’t really understand why folks would do separate it just seems like more trouble for no benefit unless there has been a specific reason or issues to trigger that.
(for example my dad and stepmom had separate accounts after she spent so much one Christmas that I had to pay their rent)
what surprises me more is that someone would set up alerts for the low expense levels that would be triggered by Taco bell
I’ve had banking apps that sent you a notification when something was charged from the account. Helps keep track of the money since there’s some automatic charges.
Low expense at Taco Bell? Ha! You must not have been there since the 90s!
You’re not the weird ones. I used to have joint accounts with my then-wife, but I’ll never do that again. Mainly because I will never marry again (ridiculous concept if you ask me - the government charging you money so that they can approve your relationship is bananas to me, and then paying them more to dissolve it if it doesn’t work out), but also because I haven’t met many people out there who manage their own money well, so why would I ever put them in a position of control over the money I earn?
My wife doesn’t work so it’s all joint
Are joint bank accounts really a thing
Are you joking? Of course they are a thing lol
She isn’t going to order her own meatballs and is going to pick off his plate. He wanted to make sure he got to eat his fill without sharing.
That’s a good theory.
Joey doesn’t share food!
He knows his wife likes the meatballs, but isn’t going to order her own, so he eats two, claims he’s stuffed, and let’s her have the last one.
He actually is stuffed, because the ones she saw him eat were actually numbers 7 & 8 and she’s happy because she gets a meatball without ordering extra food.
So wholesome!
I’ve literally done exactly this
Found the meatballs guy
Well, with my fiancée it’s diet coke
Yeah, don’t want to be loading up on soda calories when there’s meatballs to be eaten!
What happened to communicating with your partner
This is non verbal communication.
You’re not married, are you? Eating something off your plate is communication.
6 yr relationship, never planned to marry, in case it matters. The lack of communication I was talking about was him eating ahead of time in secret rather than telling his wife that sharing would mean that they’d need more food in order for him to have enough.
I mean the guy could have legitimately told her about the meatballs, yet thought it was funny to say he would “try” them knowing the waiter knew full well they already had them twice.
Queue them laughing on the way home and her finding it to be a cute quirk that he likes to confuse waiters with such.
Inflating the bill so when they get the check he can be like “Holy hell! That’s way more expensive than I thought. We might not be able to come here again.” And save money by not going out to a restaurant ever again.
looks at bill
9 MEATBALLS?
We only had three
IKR? She she wouldn’t look at the bill. “I sense a disturbance in the force…”
1 “Wife’s entree”
3 “Meatballs Order”
He’s cheating on his diet, as others mentioned. I feel like you should be able to just talk to your wife about going off diet once in a while…
Some people suck though. Dude would probably catch hell from his wife Karen.
Maybe he was unhealthy obese
Eh someone who gives their SO hell for not sticking to their diet is not necessarily “Karen”, it’s unnecessary to frame it this way
Ball is life
