So the tailor doesn’t touch your penis when they’re measuring you
Why in god’s name would you choose to put it down a leg‽ That shit will give you the worst rug burn imagineable if you happen to take your pants off too fast or fall in a split or just sit down on your pants in a weird way where they pull against you if you try to shift in the wrong way.
Wut. You put yours up so that it pokes out the top?
Optimized for slapping it down on tables to assert dominance.
HR doesn’t let me attend meetings with clients anymore…
HR is too kind… to let you have a job.
Let’s all be honest, slapping in on a table is funny as fuck
Boxer briefs keep it nice and snug. Also the number of times I’ve twisted a fucking nut sleeping in boxers or naked… Ugh. Never again.
How does one twist a but while sleeping. What does that even mean
Nut. Testicle.
One of the perks of being a grower. Don’t have to worry about that.
Yeah that thing goes into fuckin STANBY MODE ME BOIIIIIII
Guess someone stole a part of your genitalia meant to protect a more sensitive part.
Who would’ve guessed that mutilating children’s genitals can be harmful? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Chaffing doesn’t suddenly stop being chaffing because your sausage comes with a casing.
Foreskin is a fair bit more resilient than frenulum.
Well my non-circumsized penis hangs out in my left pant leg and even without underwear, I’ve never had chaffing as an issue.
Have you? Have you even an uncircumsized dick? Because, how would you know if you don’t?
The only time that’s been even slightly an issue is when putting on pants without underwear just after sex, putting on jeans without underwear and while the foreskin was behind the glans and not on it. Which is when I’ll just grab my junk, roll the hood back down to cover most of the glans and then no chaffing.
And if you don’t put your dick in your leg, where else would you?
Where the fuck else should it go??
Why would you wear pants so tight that you need to choose?
What? They aren’t tight
Both legs at the same time, like any normal person
… like any normal Klingon
The double slack experiment
Please do touch my penis when measuring me
Well you won’t let me measure it by looking at it.
I love being a joke of a human specimen, it’s a miracle I’m still alive
Like this:
For your sakes I hope half of you in the comments are joking
No, they’re not worried about joggling your junk. It’s because you need something like an extra half inch in the seam on the side you dress on to leave a little extra room in your pants for your dick. Well-tailored pants are asymetrical. Not sure those of you who wear briefs need to worry about it.
This seems like a good place for a joke about hanging dong. Podcasts about how the distinguished gentleman may properly hang dong in tailored slacks, let’s go with that
I don’t have the equipment to know if this is true or not, but it seems smart to ask the person you’re fitting so that you don’t accidentally grope them
I think you’re telling me you’re a woman. I want to point out that seeing a tailor is a non-sexual experience. I’m not sure I’ve ever been to one, not even a female tailor, who HASN’T made incidental contact with my genitals when checking fit, particularly in-seam. It’s a far cry from being “groped”. It’s a bit like imagining a lingerie specialist worries about touching someone’s boobs, or that a doctor gets worried about seeing someone naked.
Its true. This is a common tailoring question for men. Nothing to do with being fondled and everything to do with the pants fit. If you are getting measured like this for expensive pants your going to get nudged a bit anyways when they do the inseam measure.
I’ve been measured for expensive suits and I’ve never been asked this question.
Most likely due to the for style of the suit, or the country of origin which can define that.
Yeah that makes sense. I don’t wear skinny pants, so there’s usually ample room in the crotch.
This is the right answer. It’s so if you’re wearing tightly tailored pants you have some dick space so you’re not imprinting and showing it off to everyone.
This feels like satire? A site called real men, real style with an article about penises?
You know, I recognized that too, but what I really needed was for someone to tell me what “how do you dress” meant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The site it self isn’t satire. They’ve got a YouTube channel w/ 3.5 million subs.
I’m more curious which leg he puts it down in, in a fucking kilt.
This also seems like the kind of thing an ai hallucinated up, but so does the wording in a lot of academic textbooks.
There’s a scene in a 90s comedy about that where the tailor asks which side he wears his pants on. The main character looked very confused until his friend explained it.
Pretty sure that was a Friend’s episode with Joey and Chandler.
The Friends episode was about how the tailor kept moving Joey’s penis around with his hand as he was taking measurements, and Ross let him know that wasn’t normal. I only know this because I went down a rabbit hole trying to find the movie I’m thinking of.
That article is terrible.
Magnetic penises??
I figured the author was just padding the article with jokes, but I agree, that one was out of left field
Huh, i felt that it was more out of a magnetic field
Let me translate this old joke from Coluche…
It’s the story of a guy who is constantly living with migraines. He goes to the doctor for the tenth time and says “doctor I can’t take it anymore, these migraines are ruining my life!”, so the doctor prescribes him some medication and says “listen, these are the last resorts… If they don’t work, there’s really only one thing we can do, and it’s to chop off your dick!”, “chop off my dick?? I sure do hope these meds work!!”. The guy returns home and starts taking the meds. But months past and the migraines persist. He can’t take it anymore, so he goes back to the doctor and says “doctor, I’ve had it, I have no life, it will be better to live without a dick than not to live at all”, “very well, let’s get it done!”. And so the doctor chops off his dick! Months past and the guy’s migraines are completely gone. He’s so happy, he finally can live a somewhat normal life. After months of success, he tells himself “I think I should celebrate! Let get ourselves a nice suit!”. So he goes to the tailor, and the tailor asks him “sir, tell me, which way do you hang?”, obviously the guy replies “oh you know, it is of no importance what so ever…”, the tailor exclaims loudly “are you mad? It is of the upmost importance sir! If it hangs on the wrong side of the pants, you’ll end up getting constant migraines!!”
I’ve always heard the ending be something like:
Sir, you are a size 37
37? No, I’m a 36!
36!? Why if you wore size 36, your mangos would be so squished up you’d have constant migraines.
Thanks for translating!
It’s not supposed to just sit there like an acorn attached to the bottom of my torso?
preferably two acorns
Interesting idea, because my boxer briefs support my balls in the middle, but my dress pants have one seam down the middle, so when I sit for prolonged periods I get a seam uncomfortably squishing my equipment. If instead the seam was always resting to one side or the other, I wouldn’t have that problem. To fix this, we should either have underwear that better accommodates a middle seam, or my preference would be pants with a built in pouch similar to underwear. It would accentuate the “bulge”, but we could get used to that.
I often use underwear that have a bigger and better formed pouch to provide a more natural fit instead of just beating it to compliance like normal underwear does. It’s so much more comfortable.
David Archy is a good brand for this. Super comfy at not too much of a premium.
Around here tailors say, “which way do you hang” (or they used to, it’s been a while) and it’s because extra room is required in tailored pants. Generally junk at rest prefers one side to the other.
It was, “Which side do you dress to?” around here. Especially if i was a woman doing the measurements for the tailoring.
