If it’s 2 days, I should probably just leave my devices at home and go to some remote campsite. If my fingers get too close to any screen I’ll probably immediately 🍳, so I’ll just stay put there for three sunrises and sunsets to be safe, since I won’t be able to tell the time. I could probably do it for $700 million.
Shit, wait, am I allowed to fry an egg in a pan IRL?
I would fast. If you fry an egg good chance you’ll end up at liquor store buying a burner phone so you can blast a pic out to all your homies 🍳
Wait, you can get burner phones at liquor stores where you are at?
Mine just has booze and weed.
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I’d do one day for 800 million… maybe
Ok but you also can’t use 🔍, only 🔎.
to hell with it all! you’ll never pry my emoji from my grasp, even when I’m dead!
🍳🍳
👃
👄
Unjustifiable.
🍳 🍳 👃 👄Why the long face?
Yours is more intentional, but the original just feels more true to the form.
True to the form? It’s a shitty po… oh.
🍳 🍳 👃 👄I should call her.
| |I
|| |🍳
Sorry, you lost me
This is your brain on loss.
I am the eggman
I am the eggpan
I am the walnut
Caca achoo
Man, IDK… it would be tough. The urge is real.
🍳
Fuckk I failed.
🍳
Money up front.
WTF is this shit? That’s not hard at 🍳 all.
Fuck no, man.
happy
🍳🍰 day
Human response: “lol, sure.”
Lemming response: “🍳🍳🍳 FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!”
Range against the machine.
Eggxactly
yay we’re not humans
Of course I mean it as a compliment, being a dope-smoking rabbit, myself 🐰💨.
“You lied to me!”
🍳
-Danny DeVito
But then HOW would I write 🍳sexual??
Fried egg sexual? I’m not going to kink shame.
Fly a PJ far away from US, stay in fantastic hotels, I don’t even know what that emoji is
Questions my kids ask
Today I learned about the 🍳 emoji…
Same, easiest money I ever made.
And today I learned I could be a billionaire in a month. Sign this dude up!
Seriously, why is this even a question? I doubt I would use this emoji anytime in my life.
But I gotta make it two whole days?! FML, that’s terrible. Hold up: I could easily go for an entire year without using any damn emoji, especially for that cash.
It’s a shitpost, this isn’t meant to be a serious question.
This reminds me of when my sister first showed me Jeff Dunham and my nephew explained to me that the puppet wasn’t talking, but Jeff was.
I turned to my mother and yelled, “what else have you lying to me about?!”
#atetheshit
