The polite thing to do in this instance is to get on her level by pounding your own set of shots.
Power move: pound her shots.
Dating is fine. Alcoholism is tough.
Yup, dating didn’t make her drink. Also I wouldn’t want to date someone who can’t function without alcohol.
Theres a difference between “i need to drink before socializing” and “i may not have dated in a while and a buzz would help calm the nerves”. theres plausoble explanation for this.
And there’s a difference between “I’ll have a sip of vodka to loosen me up” and “I’ll ‘pound shots’ and ‘chug vodka for 5 minutes’”
She could have just had a shot and spent the 4 minutes making wrenching faces holding it down…
If was me, she already would have some points in advantage since vodka is my drink of choice…
Legitimate question - what do you like about vodka? Do you mix anything with it? I’ve never found one I enjoyed, so I am curious.
It gets the job done and it’s cheap
I, too, always keep an open bottle of vodka in my car, accessible from the driver’s seat. It’s just common sense.
So when the cops stop you, you can take a swig right in front of them. Then they can’t prove you were drunk before that and can’t give you a DUI
I also sit in the parking lot before a date just staring at people in the cars next to me.
I like to take a shot every time I see a black car, gets me ready for work in the morning. Obviously I don’t drink and drive that would be dangerous, I wait until I’m traffic lights.
A fifth of vodka, a loaded & unregistered pistol, a crack pipe, and a photo album of me walking by adorable dogs and not stopping to offer pets.
No meth pipe? No videos of you putting kittens in dumpsters? Fucking amateur
I know. I’m slacking off. My bad.
Not offering pets
You might as well have a child in the trunk at that point, you monster.
The vast majority of accidents are caused by sober drivers. Thank you for doing your part to keep our roads safe!
Of course! You dont want to be fumbling around god knows where for that shit! Its unsafe.
Exactly, that’s why I keep it right next to my loaded pistol and bag of oxy
It’s embarrassing when you go for a shot of vodka and end up with a pistol barrel in your mouth instead.
Classic Wednesday night.
I was going to make a pun about Russian roulette with vodka or a bullet, but I realized vodka or bullet would still just be Russian roulette.
Happens all. The. Time.
You can put it in a water bladder and strap it to the sun visor. Now you have a handy straw and then it’s as simple as taking a sip whenever you feel your vision go unblurry
My only proper post-bar one night stand, we got to my place, and the girl pulled out of her purse the largest bottle of vodka seemingly imaginable. It was like some disturbing Mary Poppins shit and really was an appropriate harbinger of everything that followed.
Did she put it in your butthole?
No, that was a different girl, whole other thing. It just escalated quickly for a guy who isn’t super the taking girls home from the beeeest honky tonk in Utah type. It’d all sound made up, but it’s just how it accidentally happened. But I’m not divulging mostly because it’d probably be super vanilla to you freaks. (jk kind of)
Did she jump on top or just leave the lights on?
They did mention Utah, so probably took off the special underwear, jump humped, and then soaked in god’s loophole until morning.
Oh man soaking in god’s loophole after a night at the bar sounds like a great way to get shit on.
Thanks for the visual aid.
I always say that everyone should have aids.
Primarily, she wanted me to fist her and spit in her mouth, which. .in some other context, FINE, maybe? Maybe after your name sticks in memory or like…maybe next time? Preferably still probably no? I just wanted sex, it’d been awhile, Jesus Christ. We already went to Denny’s. Idk you just had to be there. I don’t kiss and tell. I’m a gentleman.
You might not kiss and tell but you do fist and tell.
I politely declined.
Poor girl just wanted a fist in her twat she’s not asking for the world.
There’s nothing entirely wrong with this. I cannot function in some social settings without a little bit of liquor. Just half a can of white claw is enough to open me up somewhat.
Drinking a pint of liquor in your car before a social event is a pretty solid sign of alcohol dependency.
Taking a twitter post completely un-sourced as 100% serious might also be a pretty solid sign of mental deficiency.
I mean it’s meant to be funny, but in reality ½ a can of white claw and doing shots for 5 minutes are two very different things. Alcohol in volume is not a good anxiety remedy. Get help if you need to get drunk for social settings to be tolerable because becoming an alcoholic will make your life much, much worse.
yeah i mean we’ve all been there but the op is straight up textbook abuse
Or, and hear me out, OP is over-exaggerating for comedic purposes for content creation.
Or do you believe every story a stand up comedian says?
Do you think movies are real?
Good way to put it. Like I’ve had benders but I’m not drinking to hide my personality, most times it just makes it harder to communicate. Like right now I’m on a bender. Weed is also great. Most times instead of liquor pick up some flower. I’m on both atm and its great, highly recommend.
Reminds me of a first date where I arrived at the bar to find her with her friend, polishing off their second pitcher of margarita. They showed up an hour early to get absolutely smashed. The server came over and gave me a look that screamed, “Run away and don’t look back.” It was a fun date, but a very short relationship.
*Dating is rough only for guys
the act of getting a date might be easier for women, but the chances of the date going well are not higher.
Getting a date is a lot harder for a guy.
Meeting up with unknown dudes met on the Internet is a lot riskier for a woman.
Getting a date is a lot harder for a guy.
As a non-fit-bro-adonis I have to out shittons of effort into my profile to make it stand out. It’s pretty grating when 70% of the women in scrolling through have the same generic-ass answers while also saying “I’m not like other women”
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Thinks liking the Office is a personality trait
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“Go on Adventures”
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“Fluent in sarcasm”
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States what their love language is
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What I order for the table: “Chips and queso!” Or “Margs and queso!”
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Simple pleasures: “clean sheets and coffee”
I have a rule that there has to be something I find interesting or want to know more about in someone’s profile before I will message them.
This immediately rules out about half the profiles I see.
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She sounds fun!
He totally would not have noticed that she was completely smashed.
My date would be over if i saw that they are an alcoholic who drink and drive
Good luck getting laid in rural areas lol
Ok, I’m not related to them so they wouldn’t like me anyway
And I can spell, and hate Trump, so I’d be too “librul”
That’s why she waited until arriving to drink? And then presumably the date lasts a few hours over which she sobers up?
She may have planned to cab back, it’s unclear from the story
I basically did this once.
Except it wasn’t alcohol, it was molly.
The date was going poorly, because we were on different levels.
She said I was being egotistical, I apologised and told her I was ballin.
This was hilarious apparently, the date went smooth afterwards.
Nice, you were right, you were ballin.
So she loosened up on her own dime, and all I have to do now is convince a drunk girl I’m sexy? Sounds like I hit the lottery.
As an alcoholic… that lady is an alcoholic.
But could totally be a meet-cute for a really bad manga that runs for 74 chapters and then just vanishes.
Yeah, the fact she already had the bottle in the car…
Probably my closest real life example to this was I had a breakfast date, but I ended up getting pretty drunk at a party the night before and showed up still drunk :(
I felt like an ass.
We went on a few more dates but then she suddenly stopped texting me. She messaged me like 2 months later and said there was a death in her family and she was sorry, but we didn’t set up any dates after that.
That was a rollercoaster of a story with a disappointing end.
It was disappointing, I did really like her!
But it’s okay, I like my now wife more than I liked her.
You were the distraction, and that is ok
