A cortado is 4 OUNCES. I even made it American.
Me: Hi yes I’d like a small burger
USA:
Slop both literally and figuratively.
I kinda feel the picture being AI adds to the point, honestly…
Goddammit, stop fucking posting AI slop.
I like your AI post, don’t listen to the haters.
Same, it was humorous. I chuckled internally.
I’d honestly prefer a poorly drawn depiction of this drawn by human hand or a classic MS Paint edit to do the same thing. The AI slop just feels like a slap in the face
then draw it yourself
The point is not elitism in art skills but even objectively terrible stick figure drawings by humans are far better than AI slop, especially for a shitpost online. Heck stick figures were memes for a hot minute so it would also come across as a throwback
less talking more drawing

The difference between an European and American cup of coffee is that the former doesn’t contain 70% palm oil, high fructose corn syrup and artificial flavorings.
Caramel macchiatos haven’t been a hit the Old World, I take it.
What’s interesting to me is just how popular massively sweet, milky tea has become in the USA. Never thought I’d see anything challenge coffee’s dominance.
I tried one by accident once. If it’s normal to just use caramel flavor, it’s fucking disgusting.
They are popular enough here in the UK, certainly, but I suppose we already had a fairly sweet tooth for our tea. Coffee that isn’t a sugary milkshake does remain the default if someone just says “coffee” though
Thats still the same in the US. The portion of people willing and able to spend the money on making coffee not taste like coffee is just very vocal about it and chain coffee (starbucks, dunkin, etc) is pretty horrendous without other flavors covering it up. McDs is ok because they buy out a lot of the bigger “ok” suppliers but then you have to go to McDs.
Good home coffee doesn’t have to be expensive! Moka pot is the way to go, IMO. Been using the same one I bought like 8 years ago for $30 every day. I do replace the rubber gasket every once in a while, but it’s still very cheap on the whole.
I’m a cafetiere fan, but I’ve got a moka pot and a V60 as well because sometimes you just want something else. Getting a nice double-walled pot for ~£20 and some good coffee to put in it is some of the best value for money I’ve gotten. I don’t spend big on anything or go for any fancy gear. There definitely is space to treat it as a hobby/artform and go into all the tiny details if you want, but you don’t need to do all that to get great results
Well, the UK is the America of Europe.
My mother’s mom was from Ireland; Pop was a mutt with an absolutely fucked up upbeinging, so no idea! But my mom and her brother, as well as her 40 first cousins, all drink Lipton tea with milk. They just love basic tea with milk. No sugar, nothing, just black water with milk in it. I bring up the heritage because I assume it’s something they brought over, because outside of my family I don’t know many people who put milk in tea.
I’m a black coffee with a little stevia guy myself. Wife got me into stevia and it placebo’s away the heartburn I got from just drinking straight black.
Breakfast tea with a splash of milk is super common in the UK, that’s not weird at all.
Also, the whole of southeast Asia, and at this point the world, loves milk tea - especially with tapioca pearls, aka “bubble tea”.
I’m from Jersey and it’s weird here. I included the whole Irish thing because I assumed it came from there. They were south Irish, but presumably had similar tea habits.
TIL I’ve only ever been served “European” coffee here in North America.
Europe is not uniform in this, as per usual. This is what you’ll get in southern Europe. In central Europe, you’ll get a really big one though.
39% caffeine by volume
Not here, You get whole 100ml (maybe more not sure) mug, full mug of a black Turkish coffee (it is strong and bitter)
Perhaps use SI units instead of “small, medium, large”
One queen size coffee please
Can I get a liter of cola?
as much as I love SI units, coffee sizes for decent cafes are already pretty standard across the globe:
4oz (shots) 6oz (small) 8oz (regular) 12oz (large) 16oz (iced, etc)
??? A .5l iced coffee is not “regular”, nor is “shot” the smallest. A typical shot of espresso is 30ml (1floz), half for ristretto, double for lungo.
these are cup sizes… you typically get a shot of espresso, ristretto, etc in a 4oz cup
like these: https://foodpackagingonline.com.au/products/cups/paper-coffee-cups/single-wall-coffee-cups/ccswwh04
similarly you get things like a magic (3/4 cup double ristretto flat white served in a tulip cup - a tulip cup is ~180ml - same as 6oz) in a 6 or 8oz (depending on the cafe) just not entirety full
also, regular that i put in the comment is 8oz, which is ~256ml - not 500ml; 250ml is a metric cup, so it’s a pretty reasonable regular size even in roughly metric terms
…But that’s cup size, not coffee size. And even then, an espresso cup is something like 80ml (illy US specifies 3oz), which makes sense if a lungo is 60ml. A metric cup is legally defined as 240, not because cups made in Europe are 250ml, but because the US customary unit of “cup” translates to about 240ml of volume. Actyal, physical metric cups are generally 80-150ml. A 240ml “cup” is more of a mug than a cup, really, and even mugs are usually .3l or so.
And I don’t think I’ve ever, in my life, gotten served a half-liter of anything non-bottled, other than beer or maybe soup.
yet again the US does weird af stuff:
The cup currently used in the United States for nutrition labelling is defined in United States law as 240 ml
Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and some other members of the Commonwealth of Nations, being former British colonies that have since metricated, employ a “metric cup” of 250 millilitres
Canada now usually employs the metric cup of 250 ml
Similar units in other languages and cultures are sometimes translated “cup”, usually with various values around 1⁄5 to 1⁄4 of a litre.
so let’s not base anything metric on what the US does
and as for cup sizes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffee_cup
Cafes use various sizes of coffee cups to serve mocha, lattes, and other coffee drinks. They are typically 225, 336, 460, and sometimes 570 ml
225ml = 7.61oz
336ml = 11.36oz
460ml = 15.55oz
which pretty much exactly matches up to the 8, 12, and 16oz standard cup sizes as i mentioned
if you walk into pretty much any cafe in the world that has a barista and not just a machine, you’ll be able to ask for an 8oz flat white and you’ll get roughly the same amount of beverage in the same sized cup
This might be true for the non-US anglosphere but I guarantee you if you walk into a normal coffee shop in germany and ask for 8 ounces (or rather “Unzen”) of anything they’ll blink fast and ask if ounce wasn’t a measurement for gold or something.
And a cup of espresso is usually around 25ml (so a bit under 1 fl oz).
i don’t know what to tell you mate, but i have, and do this regularly: i travel to berlin yearly and drink multiple coffees per day when im there… they have them labelled as their size names, but they are 8oz-12oz sizes: what they call them is irrelevant; it’s the standard when buying the cups, so they are 8oz etc sizes
it’s also kinda irrelevant what a shot of espresso is: they come in 4oz cups… this is the standard that a cafe will give… a shot of espresso is a shot of espresso; the volume of liquid doesn’t really change, and you wouldn’t pay more for a larger amount without extra coffee anyway
for flat whites etc, the standard GLOBALLY is an 8oz cup with a single shot (or sometimes 2 depending on the bean - really that can vary depending on the cafe and how mild their beans are) full to the top with steamed milk… that’s it - there’s no ifs buts or maybes… it’s the same in germany, it’s the same in france, it’s the same in belgium, it’s the same in australia, and yes it’s the same even in the US
even starbucks behind their ridiculous names for their cups use standard cup sizes: a short is 8oz, a tall is 12oz, a grande is 16oz
“lmao”, as they say
in Japan they always make sure you know what you’re getting into when you order an espresso: “the cup is really small, is that ok??”
I had the same experience with ordering vegetarian in eastern Europe. They asked me in 3 different restaurants “This has no meat, is that okay??” With a realy concerned look.
Reminds me of that “this is a small in <location>” meme
Yeah but it has 400mg of caffeine.
Hehe :D
I wonder if the dumb americans ever realize we do that shit only to them. Muhahaha
Continental Europe
Ask for the same in America and you get a 2 liter cup.
With mostly sugar in it
Then you got the good stuff, otherwise it’ll be high fructose corn syrup
Liter? That’s a quarter gallon or something.
Unless it’s soft drink, right?
Side note on American metrification:
I do enjoy that the online calorie/macro counting scene in the US seems to be using grams now.
Wait until they realise they can do g protein/100g instead of per serve or cup, or hogshead.
One day you bastards, one day…
US nutrition labels have used grams for my entire (over 30 year) life so that’s probably why everyone uses them for online macro counting.
And it’s like 80% milk.
And 15% sugar, wait no, high fructose corn syrup
No, it’s 40% milk, and 40% corn syrup.
And the rest is sugar
Me : I’d like a black coffee please
USA : And how much whipped cream and sugar would you like with that?I always used to get “should we leave room at the top for cream or sugar?” It makes sense since at that spot the cream and sugar are off to the side to be added by the customer. And black coffee was used to differentiate from the various flavored or specialty jawns.
But it always made me giggle that the simplest order in coffee needed clarification.
jawns
I’m a native English speaker and had never seen this one before. Apparently only used in eastern Pennsylvania
I know this is a joke but if you ask for black coffee or unsweet tea, you will get what you are expecting in most cases. They may ask as a courtesy if you want sweeteners or creamers with that because many people wish to sweeten their drinks themselves as they may prefer artificial sweeteners or wish to control their dairy or sugar intake for dietary reasons.
Unless you’re in the south you mostly don’t have to specify unsweet for the tea (unless it’s something that sometimes but not always comes with things mixed in like chai). Coffee should be that as well in theory but so many people drink it in different ways that if you just order a coffee or espresso or whatever you’ll get asked if you want it black (and dont get me started on restaurants asking if i want my martini w vodka ir gin). Chains have (or had, it’s been awhile for me) their own lingo as well, like at dunkin a “large regular” meant 2 creams and a sugar (or maybe 3 and 2, I can’t remember)
When they reach for the 16oz paper cup after i order a cortado…
which is why i order by volume or weight.




















