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I would like to share this timeless classic
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar <cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke <cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet <cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied <emoti_conartist> lol <cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy <cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open <cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit <emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha <cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM <cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first' <cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face <cassius_clay13> and runs away <cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVERWow. Bryan sounds like a shit head. Good for him to keep stereotypes alive.
Just lads being lads, what a ledge 🤗
(The Lads on Tour movement needs to end fast)
“Occupied”
“Fuck off”
“Go away, I’m ‘batin’!”
I prefer
“OCCUPADO!”
Estoy cagando!
“I am fighting for my life in here”
“Occupado Senior”
*does not speak spanish
I was going to say that I say “occupied” because I’m used to Spanish “ocupado.” Up until then I was never sure in English despite it being my native language.
besetzt
Bin am kacken!
“Go away! I’m 'baitin!”
I like money
I didn’t say anything, I put my full faith in the lock. If that isn’t enough of a hint then it’s their problem.
“Just as prophecy foretold, you have come. Enter and meet your destiny!”
You. I’ve seen you. Let me see your face. You are the one from my dreams. Then the stars were right, and this is the day. Gods give me strength.
I’ve heard this line countless times.
“Come in!”
When I met my to-be brother-in-law for the first time 9 years ago (he was 19 then, for context), he was in a public restroom. My to-be mother-in-law called in and said “Hey bub, you in there?”
“Hey, mom. Yea. I’m poopin’!”
“Okay. This is KryptonianCodeMonkey.”
“Hi, kryptonianCodeMonkey! I’m poopin’!”
Then I went to pee at the urinal next to his stall and he announced, “Hey, I have shoes just like those.”
So, anyway… if your goal is to be memorable…
When the story gives all the wrong details and none of the right ones.
Did they meet because of you? I hope you told that story at their wedding.
Sing! 🎶"Another one bites the dust… And another one down, another one down, Another one bites the dust,
… I’m gonna get you, too, Another one bites the dust… "🎶
Then fart to the beat
I prefer “Push it” by Salt-N-Pepa
I uh… I said “Hello there.” It was instinct.
I’m a little sad they didn’t say “General Kenobi” but you can’t win them all.
I sense a plot to destroy the toilet bowl
“C’mon in, water’s great!”
“Come in, come in! I was just thinking of you!”
Occupado, Man
Still racking up give me a minute
