They expectedly don’t serve to barbarians.
Listen, man. I like to abuse my weiner as much as the next guy, but this is just excessive.
Jesus, I wouldn’t even do this to a terrorist hotdog at a blacksite. Even I have limits.
Put this in the dictionary alongside the definition of Wrong.
I’m picturing the ketchup smeared all over his face while reading this.
He watched you bite the dog, and knew it was time.
You got off easy, sicko.
This is a severe underreaction. OP should be locked up safely away from society.
Isn’t that why they’re on Lemmy?
Careful you don’t get 3 of those…
You’re the reason god invented prisons you degenerate (shudders)
I dont understand…
They’re eating the hot dog wrong.
I don’t see the hot dog going in and out of their asshole so they are not eating it wrong
Do you ride sidesaddle as well?
If you can’t throat an entire Costco hot dog wiener in one bite you don’t deserve to eat it.
I had an ex that could/would have done that, on cue, anytime. Their skill was unmatched, their dedication unwavering, their gag reflex nonexistent.
I miss them.
You dated the fastest hot dog shooter in the northwest? Omg
I know the hotdogs at Costco are good, but goddamn.
Imagine getting a card like this in an airplane.
this, but with the emergency exit door.
How big is that drink?
The hot dog combo comes with a 20oz soda. DDG’s calculator tells me that’s 591 non-freedom units.
What, the shot glass of cola?
You should see the 100oz refillable slushy cups.
That’s for a family, right?
Right?
How do you physically fit that much liquid in to a functioning human?
Both of my grandparents had them, not sure if they still do. Places used to have like .50 refills and didn’t list size limits, so Muricans started to buy and make bigger and bigger tubs to fill with liquid sugar.
There are levels of “functioning”, and most of these people probably couldn’t be called “fully functioning.” More like semi-coherent, only technically self-aware flesh blobs that somehow continue to have a pulse.
Costco has restrooms.
This is considered a ‘small’ in America.
American child size.
Costco size
It’s for your own good. JD Vance is on his way to collect the daily dogwater tax, and if he sees what you did you’re toast (or whatever makes sense, please and thank you) 🛋️
Obligatory wkuk sketch
I love that it starts with 0-2 hotdogs and then escalates to 7 by lunchtime.
“Is that bad?”
“Well, it’s not good.”
Doctor: Uh So, Timmy, I got your bloodwork in, and I have a couple of questions.
Timmy: Okay.
Doctor: Just about how many hot dogs do you eat a day?
Timmy: How many hot dogs?
Doctor: Yeah.
Timmy: Geez. I don’t know. I mean, you know, some days I could eat a couple and some days I don’t eat any.
Doctor: Okay. Let’s just say for an average. Take your whole week and try to figure out what your daily amount would be.
Timmy: I have no idea.
Doctor: Just try.
Timmy: Okay. A whole week average per day would be something like, I don’t know, seven.
Doctor: Seven hot dogs?
Timmy: Seven, yeah.
Doctor: A day?
Timmy: ls that high?
Doctor: It’s a little high.
Timmy: ls that bad?
Doctor: Well It’s not good.
Timmy: I mean, l’m just ball-parking here, you know?
Doctor: Sure, sure. Timmy, I wanna try something if you don’t mind. Walk me through one of your days.
Timmy: Walk you through my day?
Doctor: Yeah, just take me through a day in a life of Timmy.
Timmy: Okay. Well I wake up, and I take a shower. And, you know, get ready for work. I go downstairs and I have a bagel and something for breakfast.
Doctor: And something?
Timmy: A hot dog.
Doctor: Hot dog. Okay.
Timmy: I mean, I do usually eat a hot dog there.
Doctor: Okay.
Timmy: Then I take the train to work.
Doctor: Slow down. Slow down. Does anything happen on the way to work?
Timmy: Oh. Ha ha. I almost forgot. On the way to the subway there is a hotdog stand, so I usually have one or two, yeah.
Doctor: Two hot dogs.
Timmy: Yeah. I usually have two hotdogs before work.
Doctor: So that’s three hot dogs before work.
Timmy: Right, yeah. If you’re gonna count the one at home. I mean, this is all just breakfast, you know?
Doctor: No, I understand. I get it.
Timmy: Then I just go through my whole day at work.
Doctor: Okay.Hold up. Walk me through your workday. What happens at lunch?
Timmy: Oh, lunch, well I mean, some days I’ll just blow through lunch because of how busy I am and all.
Doctor: Really?
Timmy: Well l’m pretty sure I did that once.
Doctor: Okay. Well, on the days that you’re not ‘‘blowing through lunch’’ what do you have?
Timmy: Well, on those days sometimes it could just be a salad.
Doctor: Could it?
Timmy: Yeah. But it’s usually–
Doctor: It’s usually hot dogs?
Timmy: Yeah, it’s usually hot dogs.
Doctor: How many hot dogs?
Timmy: I don’t know. Anywhere between one and four.
Doctor: Four hot dogs.
Timmy: Yeah, that’s probably safe.
Doctor: Well, I hope there’s no more hot dogs in the day 'cause we’re up to seven now.
Timmy: Yeah, on second thought, that number might be a little low.
My friend how long did you spend on this
Not long. I found the script online. It was a little jumbled and missing the character names. I just added those and cleaned it up a bit.
Fair enough
This is absolute gold thank you so much.
deleted by creator
This better not awaken something in me.
Too late.
