this is how you know she bullshits through life and %100 replaceable with an LLM
Why does the illustrated woman on the list look like the stonks meme?
I’m guessing it’s AI generated, but could be a stock image
*stonk image
SLAVRY
“I cleared bandwidth to lead a higher impact project”
No, don’t say that! Say “I hurkledurked the dooper bobble.” It means exactly the same thing (nothing,) but using the business jargon of the 2030s so you stay ahead of the trend.
It kind of sounds like they’re advising you to ditch responsibilities that you don’t think matter in favor of more important-seeming ones, which is the kind of fucked up ladder climbing and damn the consequences that puts sociopaths in most of the positions of power in the world.
They have a point though. They are telling you to phrase things in a way that makes you look better.
A lot of these examples also seem to require you to function differently, or to lie about what you’ve been doing.
Like how during the war on terror, we didn’t torture people, we interrogated them using enhanced methods.
How does speaking like a braindead MBA make you look better?
How else are you going to become an executive and have all the
slavesemployees do whatever you want?Everyone likes to shit on MBA language, but it’s simply the language of a subculture.
I know exactly what freeing up bandwidth to work on a higher priority project means. It’s not nonsense. Sure, they could say they “sent useless work to the intern so they could do something more important”. But that’s not the language the culture uses.
What’s next, are we going to shit on ebonics too? How about shitting on tech speak? It’s not any less incomprehensible to those outside the bubble.
Anyway, that’s not to you specifically, just this whole thread reeks of a superiority complex.
/rant
You’re comparing:
- A group of English dialects spoken by an ethnic group
- A field that has technical terms with precise meaning
- A manufactured group of buzzwords largely appropriated from real technical terms meant to obscure meaning to outsiders and sometimes even hide criminal activity
These are not the same. And none of those are a subculture.
Because that’s the target audience of the speech.
Stooping to new lows do be the 2026 mantra
It doesn’t make you look better if you’re shirking your own work to work on stuff other people want you to do. “Clearing bandwidth for the important task” is a fancy way of saying you’re making someone else do your work so you can work on something that someone else considers a higher priority.
Seen that bite helpers in the ass more than once.
putting “why” before “say” is an interesting choice
Why sayest thou?
I smell genAI in the text…
Not necessarily, that’s also just how these types of people talk.
There’s a few weird bullet points in there (the fact that it tells you you shouldn’t be happy to be where you’re at being one 🙄), but, all in all, I wouldn’t call qualify this as “LinkedIn lunacy” for once.
You have no business leading a team if you say things like “this is not my job” on the regular and deflect responsibility and lack direction more generally.
Don’t say: truth Instead say: lie
Also work yourself to death for our profits
Classic.
. A B S This . W . . In our world there are two dichotomies.
A is aware of the flaws in the system. B is blind to it.
S says the self is the problem. W says the world is the problem. This woman is from the shitty quadrant, aware that hiring and promotion are handled in bad ways, but then saying ‘Oh, man, the boss is demanding sexual favors before he’ll promote you? Wow, so, are you practising your deep throat technique with your dildo or are you really showing you want it by spending money on a sextrapreneur to practice on?’ with the implication being absolutely nothing can be done other than just either becoming a lying sack of crap and pretending to support the bad behaviour or actually wholeheartedly supporting the bad behaviour.Good work gets rewarded with more work
Steph seems mentally disabled. Not the first PHD I’ve met who couldn’t live outside a classroom.
Me, who is actively avoiding getting promoted to management: write that down, write that down!
3: The process had unnecessary daily inspections of safety gear. I got rid of that and streamlined it to save money. Promote me!
Kneel and lick the boot!
❌ Don’t say: ‘I don’t want a promotion’.
❔Why: you do want to work more for a proportionally small salary increase.
✅ Say: ‘I will be pleased to eat shit now both ways for a couple more dollars’.
I assure you, I am qualified to both eat shit and also to serve shit to my team, in quantities you could hardly fathom. I have my bib on and everything, we’ve streamlined the process so I eat the shit and spray it directly from my ass into the team’s mouths, we’ve overcome process inefficiencies to deliver high impact fecal geysers, empowering the team’s ability to onboard more fecal content into their own shit production.
It’s a thing of fuckin’ beauty, if you can get past the smell. Most don’t, but they aren’t the team players now, are they?
1: Oh my God I’m such an idiot! All this time I’ve been doing my actual job when I should have ignored it in favour of doing stuff I’m not certified, qualified, or supposed to do! Right. Starting tomorrow, I’ll only do stuff I’m not supposed to be doing. I’m sure to get a promotion now!
