So grateful to my mom for doing this with me
My son’s a little young to help in the kitchen, but my wife can relax and play with him while my mom and I cook =)
I dunno… Did women kill the Indians to take this land?
For those who are talking about how this didn’t happen in your house hold, please remember you are 1, at best 2 generations removed from full on enforce of gender roles by force is necessary. So yea, maybe your dad was the one who baked the turkey or did the dishes, but you can be damn sure his dad didn’t.
My guess this is a so called “traditional” family, and this woman is trying to bring her family up to date with the 1960s.
Because boys don’t turn into chefs, huh.
Your kids help?
My daughter has been a helper since she was 2. We encouraged it despite the very obvious frustration and now we have a somewhat competent helper years later.
For anyone unaware how frustrating it can be. Watch the Omelette episode of Bluey…
She was expected to do chores as soon as we believed her capable. That included bringing her dirty laundry to the laundry room. Putting dirty clothes away. Cleaning plates before putting in the dishwasher.
Oh man, my wife HATES the omelette episode, it’s too real for her. I tend to do better with the kids when we cook together, but it’s also down to the projects I pick. Making pasta from scratch is messy, fun, and you can be imprecise. Baking (her specialty) is not so forgiving.
Chores, I think, are easier to teach but harder to enforce.
Oof I feel her pain. Baking with children is rough
I try to do a lot of mise en place before the kids know I am cooking anything. I would put them all the ingredients for all states in pre measured and put into easy to pour containers. Often I’d make 1.5x the dough so I could cut off 1/3 and that’s the kids bread - no matter how bad it is - I’ve still got the rest.
Cleaning plates before putting in the dishwasher.
Technology Connections fuming rn
I’ve seen that video. I did try cleaning the filter and using prewash powder. Still have food stuck on if I don’t
You have to teach kids EVERYTHING its exhausting. When I first asked my daughter to put a plate in the kitchen the put it on the floor, just over the threshold of the door. She was about 18mo, and it was not malicious, just following my exact instructions.
Either way I fully support your parenting practice and I do the same <3
Jokes on you lady, I only have sons, so boys do every chore.
Jokes on you lady, Thanksgiving isn’t for another 320 days, 12 hours, and 50 minutes 😤
Jokes on you lady, what’s thanksgiving?
The rest of the world may call it friendsgiving and celebrate it anyway ;)
Who doesn’t do that? What a weird assumption.
The majority of humanity as this is a global gender norm
Well I guess her post caters to her audience.
Lots of people. I don’t think it’s a word assumption at all.
This post is basically someone saying “boys and girls are the same!”.
It’s a truism disguised as some sort of profound realization.
Edit: Sorry, I realized this is probably posted by an American. Other cultures work differently. Easy to forget, most online is American.
Well, the post mentions Thanksgiving, and since it’s not October anymore, it’s safe to some the OOP is talking about American Thanksgiving, so they are addressing Americans primarily, yes.
However, gender norms are not a uniquely American thing. And it’s kind of weird to act like they are.
Also, someone posting some good advice online doesn’t need to be a profound realization. Sometimes it’s just someone sharing a good idea. You come across in these comments as rather pretentious.
My extended family was like this during my childhood
My bad, I presumed that their culture works the same as mine. I guess it’s a bigger problem with you guys than with us.
My grandpa and my father in law were never taught how to cook.
My grandpa could make porridge and sandwiches. My father in law can grill, but that’s it. My dad doesn’t even grill.
There are definitely households where cooking is seen as feminine and boys aren’t encouraged.
Thankfully my family is full of excellent cooks and all of my brothers and I love to cook. Some of my favourite memories of holidays were cooking with my mom before Christmas Eve so we didn’t have to cook until Boxing Day. I think the cooking part was better than the eating part, we had a full on hors d’oeuvre assembly line.
Sometimes I forget that I am from a different culture. I’m European. You are likely Americans. Online discourse is dominantly American. So when people say shit sometimes, it makes no sense from my point of view, because we were not raised under whatever conditions you have suffered under.
I’m not bashing Americans. I kind of like Americans to a degree. But you’re weird man. Sorry, sometimes it’s hard to keep up with your day to day grievances. My bad. Maybe what the post says needs to be said.
I’m Canadian, but there’s a lot of overlap culturally. I have American cousins.
Totally agree this is weird. I don’t think it’s as much of an issue these days but you still have perks who feel a woman’s place is in the kitchen (generally they’re shit people).
My mom’s side is québécois and the culture around these things is much more sensible with them.
I have nothing against division of labor. In my family, my father cooked, and my mother worked (he worked too but mom worked harder and basically made the brunt of the income in our family), and that was expected, accepted, and agreed upon. In any relationship, people have duties that don’t overlap, because it’s more efficient and functional.
I get that the post is about some sort of passive aggressive general outrage against what I guess is misogyny, but I feel it’s just misplaced in this case and a bit self indulgent, like, what she is saying is really “look at me, I made this major cultural discovery, and I would like to both announce it to the world how great I am, as well as admonish those who don’t do it”.
It’s not the message, it’s the smugness that gets fucking annoying, because I bet that person does a lot of shit others would consider bad parenting or being straight up immoral, and it irks other people like me.
That was the point.
I don’t have anything against division of labor, that’s totally natural. I don’t like people who believe that cooking is for girls and women only or that mentality.
That’s fair. I don’t understand it at all as most top chefs in the world are men.
:P
I’m just messing with you, but no, I mean what even is that, men can cook.
My dad never learned to cook, clean, or take care of his own hair/clothes. He had 7 sisters who were all taught that taking care of the boys and the house was their main duty in life. None of those sisters ever touched a hammer or a wrench.
His dad never learned to cook, clean, or take care of himself in any way. He had 4 sisters who were all taught that taking care of the boys and the house was their main duty in life. None of those sisters ever touched a hammer or a wrench.
I have two boys - they were taught to cook and clean and take care of themselves. And once they had that basic stuff down they were taught the hammer and wrench.
In my family, all the men would watch football and get drunk while all the women were in the kitchen cooking the feast.
Even as a young boy I thought that was pretty gross.
Would anyone in your family have read this post and changed their ways?
Seems unlikely.
My spouse once told me that she hadn’t been allowed to play Risk because it was a boy’s game. Apparently as a child she had been sent “back to the kitchen” to help with “women’s chores” while the menfolk played strategy board games.
I didn’t shed a tear when her dad passed. And neither did she.
really proud of famously sought after and eligible playboys such as reddit and lemmy users coming together to really identify as societies peak. You guys clean at Christmas and challenge gender roles. Fucking peak. So weird that so many of you are struggling in the dating scene while those slob adult men seem to constantly be getting married. What gives?
You don’t help cook you don’t eat.
Society being agender-by-default, with gender being opt-in, would solve a lot of problems.
Thing is, biology ain’t.
If it were up to me we would be having take and bake pizza, if other people want something else other people can cook it.
As a child we always did the girls cook and boys clean method, which isn’t as bad as it could be, but still leaves a lot to be desired. Instilled that boys need to be part of the work, but needlessly gender divided the work anyway 😐
That was it for us but realistically it was more A generational thing. Especially after divorces and stuff - all the aunts didn’t cooking, my uncle and my brothers and I did the setup/cleanup.
At one point they tried to get us do the cooking but I’m sorry but I’m flying in late the night before or early the morning of: that’s up to the locals. I can stop at the store to buy wine or something but cooking isn’t a realistic choice
But when we do Thanksgiving locally: if it’s my house I do most of it and my ex brings a couple sides. If it’s her house then vice versa
I like the “who cooks does not clean” and vice-versa idea. Can just change who does what every so often. Plus it can be a great opportunity to show that you have to consider your impact on other people(don’t create a massive pile of work for them where it can be helped).
My mom made me do that 40 years ago already. That is a thing, no? Sure, it was Christmas dinner, as we didn’t have thanksgiving, but it’s the same nonetheless. You do it together as a family
Specially young boys if you involve them they will be invested in the entire process! This is great advise!
