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My sister has, no joke, played as a sentient fucking sandwich.
As long as your not a part of it I don’t see an issue with your sister’s fucking Sandwich.
Make D&D great again
I love these soooo much.
A bard who is a wrestling jobber that pretends to get his ass kicked by the rest of the party so they look to bad ass to fuck with.
Throwing a “fight” to a party member is the most badass version of bardic inspiration I can think of
Okay DM, I’m going to snort a line and monologue for a few minutes to get the party pumped up.
Ultimate Warrior was… Yeah, I don’t know how to finish that.
Cocaine is a helluva drug; the 'roids probably didn’t help much either.
Crazy part is, that’s not the most unsettling and/or unhinged promo he did.
Happy cake day!
Hey, I came up with the peasant farmer idea myself, like 10 years ago.
My character was this: A 36 year old blond guy, he farms watermelons and sells them at the village square. He is married with two kids but has a very selfish and idiotic personality. Leaves his family behind to “make his own destiny”. Always says pseudo-inspirational shit. He is a rogue but extremely clumsy and often has trouble with how he carries himself, he is the opposite of smooth.
I think everyone tries fielding a commoner or “normal” person at least once.
My version was a nobleman’s son that just “wanted to try this adventuring thing out.” He wound up bankrolling the entire campaign, right up until he died in the second encounter.
That’s amazing lol.
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The peasant farmer I’ve played as an halfling artificer with halfling luck. They haven’t improved much, aside from rolling with the punches a bit better. In fact, they don’t have any clue what their equipment is or how it works. Things just kept happening for him and the party refused to let him leave.
The running joke was that he’s lucky enough to stumble into unfathomable power, but not lucky enough to find the mundane life of peace they’re looking for.
Depending on peasants’ lifespans in this world, the peasant with the midlife crisis could be just out of their teens
Nah. More like early thirties. Average life expectancy in the dark ages was 30 or something, but that’s just because most people died very young, mostly as babies. If you managed to grow up at all, you could reach your 50s or 60s.
@Manjushri @AllNewTypeFace If you got past age 5, your life expectancy soared.
Unless you’re in the middle of a major plague or have a ridiculous amount of war, peasants in a medieval-style world who survive young childhood should generally get to an age of about 60. Though getting old with medieval-level medicine while working a physically demanding job probably sucks hard.
I’ve been that druid 😂 except I diversified my inventory after picking up circle of spores
Oh hey I sort of unintentionally did the monk one! He was raised in a villain’s cult that was was taken down by a party of adventurers. Since he was raised in it he fully believed in the cult’s teachings until the shock of that day, and since then he had been trying to make up for it. I didn’t use the religious aspect, but he had the aesthetic and the repentance, and also the party’s druid had taken him on as an apprentice beer brewer so he even had that European monastic tradition down too
I got a DM to let me play a 3.5e ninja but lie to the party and tell them I was a bard.
These are fantastic. The hat+mannequin seems like it would have a lot of RP potential. Ditto for the midlife crisis.
I’m currently placing a sentient spellbook piloting a mannequin. It’s telepathic, too, and I love switching between the robot “outside” voice and the more demonic “inside” voice. For even more dramatic effect, it can summon it’s own soul (Scribes Wizard works extremely well for this concept)
One of my characters I hope to play some day is a half orc hexblade warlock who doesn’t realize he has magic powers or that he made a pact. His “casting” involves yelling intimidatingly and waving his arms, sometimes throwing certain things.
If anyone asks where he got his favorite axe (which is always conveniently “on his back” when he needs it, despite him constantly forgetting it), he’ll explain that he traded part of his shoe for it.
Any party members that try to explain his pact are met with disbelief or confused facial expressions before he inevitably moves on.
I would love to see the werewolf play the pompous know-it-all: “Um, actually the idea that the moon causes the change is a superstition. It’s a body cycle that often coincidentally matches up with the full moon. People just remember the times during the full moon because of confirmation bias.”
Meanwhile the moon disappears behind clouds and they briefly turn human, “COMPLETE COINCIDENCE!”
Only one that’s terrible is the washboard bard, but that’s just my personal dislike of the horny bard trope
I once played an ace bard. He only cares about the music. He also unconditionally oozed sex appeal.
