Do you count more if you have sex 3 to 4 times a week?
No idea. I can just say that at least for me it wasn’t voluntary. 17 through 21 tried dating some people, only one agreed and then made fun of me publically and sent me photos of fucking other dudes. Since then I got depressed really hard and gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of hair, still trying my best to recover and lose weight. I somehow missed that one girl in college that gave me signs that she likes me, and it made me even more depressed, thinking that I lost my only hope. Idk why I wrote this, sorry if you read it, just had something stuck in my throat and needed to type it out.
It happens, the ‘did I miss a cue’ can be brutal if it keeps replaying. Only real answer I know is being content with your own self and if someone also happens to fall into that same space all the better. People get so inundated with images of what’s ‘possible’ which a good chunk of it’s enhanced with selective posting and filters, so we get some unrealistic view of what a normal happy life is supposed to be.
As for the sending pics, shitty people aren’t worth the brain space to stress over, you dodged a bullet there.
I just heard in a song something similar to “being content with your own self” and I see your comment, what a nice coincidence. Totally agree, trying to help myself from living in my head where I made an ideal of what should everything be. Came to it only recently, after drinking bit too much and crying a lot. I think I got a piece of my hope back because of that, so it’s easier going forward now.
In life there are an infinite number of connections we’ll miss, the positive is we don’t need to make nearly that many.
The first step is to work on yourself, but you don’t need to drastically change who you are just learn to love yourself as you are.
Once you can manage that, it’s a lot easier to find connections.
Jee, I nearly choked on my ramen when I read your name 😂😂. Yea, totally agree, thank you
Just keep working on yourself friend. Only way things don’t work out in the long run is if you stop trying
Thanks, hovi. I will. Appreciated ❤️
Blues Traveler song I love has a very similar line; “There’s no such thing as a failure who keeps trying. Coasting to the bottom is the only mistake.”. I heard it at a young age, when I absolutely needed to hear it. I have done my best to teach my children and close friends this. You can do it. What “it” is may change in the effort… But if you keep trying, you will never be a failure.
People are stretched as thin as can be and stressed beyond belief. Then during their free time they are inundated by algorithms that are made to keep them scrolling and to feel as many negative emotions as possible. Then their food is full of hormones and their food wrappers and cosmetics and toiletries are all full of phthalates and microplastics and undisclosed hormone disrupting chemicals. All in a progressively protestant society that increasingly isolates us from one another and shames us for our natural urges and feelings and bodies, all in the name of selling us unnatural solutions for these “problems.”
It’s a mystery though.
It’s not a mystery, it’s social media. This isn’t fucking hard folks.
Also, this study is by a conservative think tank and is biased as hell. They’re trying to force kids to marry young to have a bunch of children for “god’s army.” These “data” showing declining sex rates gives these conservatives fuel for their crusade. This is all also closely linked to the great replacement theory. None of this information should be taken at face value.
I imagine it’s a continuation of the isolation that social media causes.
It’s the internet/social media. Not sure why we’re acting like this is a hard one. We are literally replacing real-life interactions with virtual ones—including sex. Wouldn’t be surprised if masturbation rates have drastically increased in that same timeframe.
I came to the same conclusion. I don’t doubt that sex is on the decline but whatever data this “Family Studies” collected to graph this is dubious at best. I think I saw a sample size of 2,000, but knowing this has some religious angle, they probably polled at church or something and are only interested in the procreation of the “right” people.
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My first question about studies like this is always “how do they know this?”. And I while I know I could find the study and dig into the setsils, I don’t have to do that to know that this is the result of surveys taken over this time period. Unless technology develops to grant us a way to monitor and track the sex lives of people objectively and unobtrusively, that’s just the best way can do. So any conclusions drawn really should be “the decline in people’s surveyed frequency of sexual intercourse has gone down over time”. Just to throw out some baseless speculation: could people in the past inflated their answers to appear “cool” or similar? Could there be cultural shifts pressuring respondents to deflate their numbers now? Personally, I’m inclined to believe the results of the study ARE true, but I’m not confident in that.
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The decline of 3rd spaces, which is a big concept with multiple causes. Car-centric infrastructure, industrialization, women moving to the workforce, capitalism, technology, etc. It has become harder for people to have intimate personal interactions with others who live nearby. I believe the rise of things like social media, dating apps, and now AI companions is less about “hey we developed this new technology to replace and maybe be better than real human interaction” and more about “we need to develop something to replace what we have lost”.
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Consent. Reductions in arranged marriages and child marriages. Protections and rights for women and children.
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Economics. Everyone is overworked and tired. I’ve seen this in a lot of the other comments here but I actually don’t buy into this quite as much. There seems to be an inverse relationship between GDP per capita and birth rate, at least recently. Most of Europe, Japan, Australia, the US, Canada, Korea, and perhaps most notably… China. All have experienced declines in birthrates, and in a lot these cases there is good modern data showing the birth rates changing as these economies develop. The countries having the most children are poorer countries.
Now, it could be that these wealthier countries have access to birth control, so this does not necessarily dissolve economics as a factor. But, my own theory is that sex is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment available to humanity (if you don’t factor in the costs of children). So the citizens of these wealthier countries are spending their time and money doing other things. Not just skii vacations or going yachting, but reading books and watching TV.
From my personal experience, the 3rd spaces is a huge thing. I’ve met my wife in such a space, and pre-Covid I’ve run a large Meetup group that focused on safe socialization (dinners, cinemas, hiking, art events). I’ve seen countless of hookups and dozens of marriages within that group. Covid pretty much killed Meetup groups on our area, so when we want to socialize all that’s left are pubs and clubs, and there I only see single-gender groups with no overlap. I doubt anyone is getting laid, and even if they do, chances of a meaningful relationship before actually knowing each other’s likes and dislikes, and common interests, are minimal.
My husband and I met on OKCupid, definitely not a traditional third space. But we met back in 2014, back when the site was still good. It’s algorithm was actually really good back then if you put the effort into actually filling out the quizzes and surveys. But as time has gone on, it seems they have really enshittified. Instead of helping people finding meaningful relationships, they just try to keep people subscribed for as long as possible. And my husband and I met on OKCupid without ever subscribing for anything; we never gave them a dime.
But, my own theory is that sex is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment available to humanity (if you don’t factor in the costs of children). So the citizens of these wealthier countries are spending their time and money doing other things. Not just skii vacations or going yachting, but reading books and watching TV.
Spoken like a man who’s never tried to get laid. Sex is expensive. Dressing nicely, being fit, being financially well off enough to attract a girl in the first place, then entertaining them, taking them out, etc. It’s not easy to pull off if you are poor. Especially when compared to free porn on tap and the stagnation of the middle and lower classes for decades.
It seems you believe the myths that media wants to tell you about modern courtship. Yes, such shallow people exist. And yes, there are thresholds of hygiene and stability someone should be expected to meet. But a lot of women want to get laid just as bad as men, not for the money or the status but for the sex.
Again is dependent a lot on your age.
Ever heard about STD rates in nursing homes? There may be a factor that’s correlated with age, but age itself doesn’t stop sex, or even slow it down that much.
I’m not saying people don’t have sex as they get older (though there is ample evidence out there that they tend to have less). I’m saying that women are less likely to put up with a broke ass older man than a young stud. As you get older you become more prized as a breadwinner than you do as just a toy boy.
Bro the people I see getting the most pussy are free spirits without an ounce of stability in their lives
Then you are young
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I blame Newt Gingrich
I don’t know man, It always comes back to Reagan doesn’t it?
If anyone could stop an entire country from fucking, it’s that man.
Notice it goes down over periods of time for which the political party in power is against women having bodily autonomy or rights?
And goes up when leftist policies such as expanding access to healthcare are introduced.
No, women having choice over whether they have sex is the problem. They are naturally less sex-reliant than males and it is only through parties restricting those choices that you see a spike after they leave office. /s
I was warming up the down vote finger so hard until I saw the /s. Got me good.
Poverty, depression, gooning to porn… Must I go on?
I’m guessing this graph matches closely with anime viewing… The true amplifier of Japan’s population decline!
To solve this crisis, we must make catgirls real and unleash an army of bland
protagonistsyoung men with almost no personality that possess some overpowered skill. Such as the ability to stay thin despite the ready availability of sugary/processed foods.Can’t we just get Truck-kun to Isekai a bunch of people?
People requiring consent more. Also, people being less likely to lie about sexual topics now.
I’d like to see a graph of consensual sex per week over time.
Your mom has been posting a lot more on Instagram recently
Digital drugs AI, social media. People replaced sex with mobile phone dopamine hits. Misogyny and misandry in media. Lack of financial stability.
Microplastics in brains have hit critical mass
Humans have discovered we’re in captivity, and so we’ve stopped breeding.
Aside from who backs these studies and how is data collected, my real question is why do we really care, like, is that really some issue?
By itself, no but it can be an indicator of larger societal issues.
Personally considering that sex is one of the most basic and strongest desires. That many people overriding it is concerning.
