Tim's Lemmy
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 个月前

Avocado

lemmy.world

message-square
147
fedilink
1

Avocado

lemmy.world

no banana@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 个月前
message-square
147
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    30 天前

    AI says what?

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      30 天前

  • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    Does a clean penis taste different than clean skin??

    • TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
      cake
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Skin on different parts of the body tastes different. It also depends on how it’s cooked.

      • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        I think I’d prefer reverse seared penis but idk

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          Like a pp corndog

      • 0ops@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        *closes legs

      • Not_Dav3@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        30 天前

      • Alaik@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        God damn dude.

      • inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        damn

      • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Fucking hell

    • LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Why ask when you can find out?

      • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        I mean if your willing to donate your penis to me in the name of science then im game 😉😘

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    I mean, sure in the sense they dint really taste like much.

  • MNByChoice@midwest.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    “Clean penis”? Only after washing with avocado scented body wash.

    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      The only way to properly clean a penis is with guacamole and some elbow grease.

      • bstix@feddit.dk
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Also, WD-40 is not a lubricant.

        • FourWaveforms@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          wdym

          • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            0
            ·
            1 个月前

            Strictly speaking, WD-40 is for water displacement. It is also not patented because they don’t want to give away the recipe.

            Though, I think the other guy might have meant “lubricant” in the context of sex.

  • db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    I just asked my wife and she made the face. This is apparently, correct 😂😬😂

    • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Thank you for answering the big questions for us all.

    • Delphia@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      I asked my wife if she wanted breakfast in bed… she did not like what was in her toast.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Don’t trust her.

      Only one way to know the truth.

      🍆

  • enbiousenvy@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    that looks like the ancient mouse that uses ball for cursor movement.

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      They first tried using avocado pits, but those are a little too uneven, so they went with cooked egg yolks instead.

    • AtariDump@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

    • Tailz (she/her)@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      That’s the first thing that came to mind when I saw this. Those mice were a pain. I had to take the ball out from the socket and get rid of dust and debris so many times so it would work normally

      • nomy@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        It was so disgusting digging all the gunk out with a toothpick, cotton swabs, and alcohol.

        Optical mice were such a huge improvement everyone I knew (except the weird trackball guy) switched as soon as they became available and never looked back.

        • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          The first optical mice absolutely sucked compared to trackballs.

          Fortunately, that period did not last long.

          • ddh@lemmy.sdf.org
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            0
            ·
            edit-2
            26 天前

            First optical mouse I used was interning at a university engineering department in 1993. It had a special metal mousepad with a grid on it, and it worked pretty well as I recall.

            TIL it was a Kirsch design, one of the first, from 1980.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optical_mouse#/media/File:Old_optical_mouse.jpeg

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Cursed ball mouse that tastes like clean penis

      • ch00f@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        cleanpenis.fart

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      It’s vintage, thank you

  • Pasta Dental@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    that’s untrue

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Sure, but it wouldn’t be as funny if it said “doesn’t taste like clean penis”

      • Sonor@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        “Scientists discover avocado does not in fact taste like clean penis”

        It would get a few clicks i reckon

        • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          Sure, but would it be as funny?

        • Lycist@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          Only if extensive testing material was available to view.

          • Sonor@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            0
            ·
            1 个月前

            For that we will need volunteers and taste tasters as well

            • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              0
              ·
              1 个月前

              What about the durability test

  • hefejefe@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    How do I unsee an image

    • proti@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      this but in reverse
      brain no mor

      • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Goodness me that is unsettling

        • FippleStone@aussie.zone
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          Anime ain’t right

      • Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        What’s the name of the show? Looks familiar

        • proti@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          It’s Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade from Kizumonogatari, but you probably know her by the name Shinobu

          • Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            0
            ·
            1 个月前

            Thank you!

    • FelixCress@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Why do you want to unsee it, don’t you like avocados?

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Some sort of eye surgery

      • neons@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        That doesn’t help, it’s already in memory.

        Obviously the answer is suicide.

        • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          Some sort of existence surgery

    • DUMBASS@leminal.space
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      • ummthatguy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        The “Phineas Gage Special” is not 100% effective.

  • CubitOom@infosec.pub
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    Reminds me of fresh cut okra.

    • socsa@piefed.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Mazel tov!

    • Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      What does?

      • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Pener

        • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          no that is the indian cheese

          • tetris11@feddit.uk
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            0
            ·
            1 个月前

            Peynir

            • iAvicenna@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              0
              ·
              1 个月前

              and that is turkish cheese

  • LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    Some people here have never sucked a dick and it shows

    • Carl@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Your the expert, tell us.

      • Branch_Ranch@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前
        • you + are = you’re
        • Carl@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          I guess you’re* the expert.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          No.

          My the expert.

    • flandish@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      some of us were just too young to remember the taste. thankfully

      • General_Effort@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Oof.

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it’s beautiful and sunny wherever you are and that you’re doing well.

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Altar boy?

        • flandish@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          what? no. just my best friend’s older brother who happened to be a sexual predator.

    • last_philosopher@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      I’d imagine lemmy has among the lowest has-sucked-dick ratios of any potentially mixed-gender community.

      • Valmond@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Why? We’re a bunch of old wannabe rebels (among other) eager to try out new stuff, surely sucking a dick was something easy to try out in our youth, and then lots of us are trans, gay, transbians and so on.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          ☺️ 🏳️‍🌈👋 Happy pride!

  • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    I don wanna know what unclean penis taste like

    • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      Like what it smells like but pissier and salty af. At first. After you slather on it for a while it all just tastes the same because you’ve cleaned it with your mouth and throat. I do not enjoy unclean penis. It is not fun, it is not hot. Please clean your nasty cocks for the love of god. Hygiene, people, hygiene!

      • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        edit-2
        1 个月前

        makes sense. and ewww people really needa learn basic hygiene.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          I dated a girl who would wash her pp every time she went to the bathroom.

          I miss her. She had a very nice (and clean) pp, but gods, she did things with her fingers 🤤 fifteen minute straight, actual screaming orgasms. I’ve never been so embarrassed of being at a loss of control of my entire body. Just with her fingers 🤌

          …Nothing else has or ever will compare 😣 … Especially dirty dick people ☹️

    • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      It would be easy to find out, in fact they might pay you to find out!

      • FundMECFS@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Who the hell would go through the hassle of buying sex without cleaning ur pp. I mean that just sounds grim at that point.

        • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          You’d be surprised.

    • mysticpickle@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      • THCDenton@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

      • Twitches@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Omg 🤣

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Mouth feels? Or like smell? Or like something else?

  • guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    of course it’s a BuzzFeed article

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/daniellaemanuel/avocado-tastes-like-clean-penis

    • altphoto@lemmy.today
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      That website is a mangled mess of advertising.

  • DoubleDongle@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    Damn, I wish I knew I was bi before I met my wife, because I love avocado.

    • no banana@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    edit-2
    1 个月前

    Um excuse me?

    I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.

    I’d eat more avocado if that was true.

    • Lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      I showed this to my wife, she agrees.

      • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        30 天前

        Her boyfriend’s penis must be clean.

        • Lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          30 天前

          Last I checked mine was cleaner, and I won the swordfight

    • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      We’re trying to promote hygiene here

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Well they don’t taste like dirty penis either.

        • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          not as chewy, either.

          • Kalcifer@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            0
            ·
            1 个月前

            what a day to have eyes

    • Etterra@discuss.online
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      1 个月前

      It’s probably just a joke to piss off conservatives. If correct, it works be a worthy cause.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Is conservatives into avocado? I was led to believe woke millennials who suffer from bad financial decisions eat avocado toast.

      • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        1 个月前

        Did you know light beer tastes like cum?

        • moving to lemme.zip. @lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          Can confirm. Cum tastes exactly like Michelob Ultra.

        • Allemaniac@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          1 个月前

          maybe it’s because american light beer is just really close to fucking water.

    • Beero@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      ·
      edit-2
      1 个月前

      Have you ever microwaved a brick of Brie for crackers…smells…pungent. Reminiscent of post-coitus, LoL, great for date night

  • hperrin@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    1 个月前

    Are they flipping out because that’s ridiculous and false?

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: [email protected]

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 471 users / day
  • 1.89K users / week
  • 4.48K users / month
  • 11K users / 6 months
  • 0 local subscribers
  • 32.8K subscribers
  • 12.3K Posts
  • 221K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world
  • YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • UI: unknown version
  • BE: 0.19.8
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org