• Tattorack@lemmy.world
    0·
    21 days ago

    No thank you. I don’t have the time, the money, or the energy to go looking for a girlfriend… Or spend it on a whole other human and their unique set of needs.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
      0·
      21 days ago

      What if I were to tell you you’re supposed to get some of that back in a relationship as it moves towards becoming a partnership?

      Or that hanging out with them, aka a date, is supposed to be fun?

      • Tattorack@lemmy.world
        0·
        20 days ago

        If you feel like it’s fun or that you need a partnership, then go ahead. My time is already divided as it is, and I just don’t want it even more divided.

        I hardly have any time left to do the things I want to do, to study art and practice 3D. Any time I spend on other things most certainly will not be taken away from my job hours, but will be from my free time.

        So I don’t want to waste time and money trying to find someone in the first place (most people are incredibly unitereresting), and then waste even more time trying to make it work.

          • Zacryon@feddit.org
            0·
            20 days ago

            If you’re happy with your life, that’s perfect!

            As people are usually social creatures, it’s only natural if someone is in truth not happy about this. There are exceptions of course.

            However, my comment was totally misplaced and condescending. My bad. Didn’t think much about it. I’m truly sorry about this.

            I’ve deleted the comment.

          • Zacryon@feddit.org
            0·
            20 days ago

            You’re right. I’m sorry. I was just joking, but it’s not okay to do that by picking on someone who lives a harmless life.

            I guess I felt a bit offended, since he sounded rather aggressive and condescending. But, not my business. Doesn’t affect me nor anyone else besides himself alone.

            Thanks for pointing that out. I’ve deleted my comment.

  • TommySoda@lemmy.world
    0·
    21 days ago

    Bro, I’m trying. I work all the time and online dating sucks butt. I think I’ve been on every dating app there is at least twice over the past 7 years with zero success. Like, I know I’m an introvert but it shouldn’t be that hard. Especially when everyone and their mom tells me how great of a dude I am.

    I think my problem is that I’m just not built for online dating. My last girlfriend and I met through fucking Reddit of all places… They should make a dating app for introverts where there are no pictures until you match with someone. Because I’m sure I’m not the only introvert that cannot for the life them take a good picture of themselves.

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
      0·
      21 days ago

      Introvert here. I met my now introvert wife at speed dating.

      If you haven’t done it before, you are in a room (usually a rented out restaurant so its just for this event) with lots of tables. At each table is a woman. As a man, you are directed to sit at a specific numbered table where there is a woman seated (all the other men do the same to the individual table they are directed to). A bell rings. You have 5 minutes to talk to each other and learn as much as you can about each other. After 5 minutes, the bell rings, and the woman stay seated, and the man moves to the next higher numbered table. You have a card with the woman’s name on it and you should REALLY make notes, because you won’t remember which things you thought with each person. The women do the same with their cards.

      In under 2 hours each person now talked to 14-18 potential mates. At the end of the night you go online and mark which of the women you’re interested in hearing more from. If any of the women you mark also mark you on their side, you’re given an in-app communications channel and you can choose to share personal contact information from there.

      When you’re sitting at the table talking with a woman sometimes it seems like that bell rings as soon as you sit down and you wish you had more time. Those are the ones you mark on your card to talk more with. Sometimes, you’re 1 minute in and you’re dreading waiting though the next 4 min. Those you do not mark.

      I’d recommend you give Speed Dating a try.

        • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
          0·
          21 days ago

          Did you just Google “Local Speed Dating” or something?

          Yep. There are usually companies that put these on, and as its their business, it will be the same companies doing many sessions throughout the year.

          I wasn’t sure if Speed Dating was still a thing (since I did it years ago), and I find it is still a thing!

          There’s one tonight in Los Angeles:

          But also midwest towns. Here’s one in Des Moines Iowa 2 days from now:

        • AA5B@lemmy.world
          0·
          21 days ago

          Well that was depressing. Google does indeed list regular speed dating events near me, by age range and preference.

          However I’m really not happy where my age lands. I can’t be that old. Just a few years ago I would be hanging out in the rec room playing video games on my Atari ….

      • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
        0·
        21 days ago

        Amazing I didn’t know it was a real thing I thought it was a joke

        Edit: cool beans found out one happened in 2019

        But nothing else

      • burgersc12@mander.xyz
        0·
        21 days ago

        This sounds horrible, like an interview but multiple back to back and lasting for hours. No thanks, I’d rather be thrown back into the hell of online swiping.

        • ditty@lemm.eeEnglish
          0·
          20 days ago

          I have not had much luck with dating apps, so a friend and I attended a local speed dating event when we turned 30. Apparently it was advertised on a dating app and is run by a company that does events for singles.

          Anyway it was exactly like you described - a series of awkward interviews with strangers I didn’t click with, some of whom tuned out after a couple of minutes and you could tell they were just waiting for the next person. Many were people who had just moved to the state/country.

          Any other option for meeting people would probably be better than attending a speed dating event imo

      • TommySoda@lemmy.world
        0·
        21 days ago

        How do you even find stuff like that? Because I’ve definitely thought of giving that a try ngl.

    • slumlordthanatos@lemmy.world
      0·
      21 days ago

      Like, I’m in that position too, except I have a touch of the 'tism to go along with it. Not so much that I can’t function, but enough to the point that socializing is exhausting. I get nothing but bots when I try online dating, and going out mostly just results in people asking me why I’m always just standing in a corner by myself.

      Really, I just need a wingman, but I don’t know anybody who would be willing or able to do it; my brother and both of my closest friends live an hour-and-a-half away and my BIL has very young kids.

      I’m at a point where I’m not sure if it’s ever gonna happen.

    • Rhaedas@fedia.io
      0·
      21 days ago

      I think it’s far better to find someone you can relate to via their personality first. Everyone has their flaws, so if you’re weeding people out first from appearance and then trying to find the person inside to match, that’s killing your odds a lot. That being said, you can hit it off seeing someone first and then learning more about them, but I think that’s more true in real life where you can pick up other signals that online visuals just aren’t going to do, and those subtle signs will filter your image of them, whereas if you had a picture of them online you might skip over.

      However I have no experience in the dating game and am biased as I found my wife of 35 years online back in 1985. Rather she found me in randomly looking for someone to chat with and things went from there.

    • GluWu@lemm.eeEnglish
      0·
      21 days ago

      I already found the happy spot inside me, its only a few inches deep.

      Also is your username from a atmosphere song?

  • Cyrus Draegur@lemm.eeEnglish
    0·
    20 days ago

    I got a girlfriend in 2023

    The experience was mid.

    She’s cool and we still hang out sometimes but being in a relationship kinda sucked and I’m glad we reloaded the friend save state.

    I’m just not cut out for being someone’s only partner.