• southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    Ah, dammit.

    If people had any idea how often being even the least little bit kind to someone in that situation can give them the hope they need, they’d be a lot kinder.

    I bounced at a few gay bars. You lose track of how many kids are finding the first moment of acceptance they’ve ever had. Or the ones that linger as long as they can because they don’t have anywhere to go home to. Or the ones that are at the end of their rope, out at a bar because they need something resembling human kindness to make it one more day.

    It’s better than it used to be, but there’s still plenty of people out there afraid, ashamed, or alone with no idea of how to keep going. Not just the kids, but adults, even old farts like me. There’s people my age that still haven’t come out at all, and more that don’t feel safe or ready to come out more publicly. There’s people older than me that have stayed in the closet longer than I’ve been alive.

    Your get into this kind of situation, you do what you can. That’s all you can do.

  • Mossy Feathers (She/They)@pawb.social
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    1 month ago

    You know, I’d never thought about doing something like that. Tbh, that seems more helpful than most things; because you know where the person you’re talking to is, and that you can go and see them in person. Like, you really shouldn’t do that do a store clerk, that’s not what they’re being paid for; but at the same time, if I was in that position then I’d absolutely put my job on the line and take the time to talk and comfort them.

    I wonder if LGBT-positive stores give people crisis training in case they get calls or emails like that. If not, then it might be worth considering doing that as a community. Then someone who’s struggling can find their nearest LGBT-anything and have someone to talk to.

    • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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      1 month ago

      There’s a queer anarchist bookstore in Asheville NC that’s amazing for community. I’m not sure if they routinely field calls like that, but I know they’re a space for community members to gather, to comfort one another, and to be a space when space is what’s needed. Called Firestorm. They’re really amazing .

  • Skkorm@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Huh. Is this an American thing? Book stores are definitely a thing in my corner of Canada. Like, perpetually busy.

    Also yeah that’s a great story ❤️

    • DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca
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      1 month ago

      Very common. Queer bookstores often had coffee shops in them and would serve something basic like sandwhiches. If you weren’t a club goer and didn’t want to join a choir or sport steam, that’s often where you would meet other queer people before everyone had the internet in their pocket. They would host speakers/seminars, networking events, board game nights, an acoustic act or two, the fact that they sold books was often secondary.

      I think a lot of “Pride Centres” started as bookstores.

      • DerArzt@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        I wish we still had this sort of thing in general (a non-corporate 3rd place that holds events).

        • Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world
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          1 month ago

          My hometown has a bookstore like this. It’s open every day of the year and was the first business in the town to display a pride flag. The lady who runs the store is a bloody hometown hero who is forefront to organizing both the small town Pride and the Mural festival. They partner with the local animal shelter to foster adoptable cats in the store and whenever you purchase a book you get a poker chip to determine where a small portion of the sale gets donated to pick between three non-profit options.

          It sells all manner of gifts from quill pens and fancy dice to LGBTQIA+ jewelry and does new and used books. Back before other businesses started showing support as being safe places it was the one. The town it is in is majority conservative and the people who work and frequent the shop are known to be grassroots fighters who show up to city councils to fight for all manner of progressive causes. Whenever I go back to my hometown I visit that store and I buy at least one glossy new book or a cool set of dice.

          It has not been easy as over the years the store has been physically attacked. It’s had windows smashed and employees targeted by bigots… But everytime I’m in there I see happy faces on teens and adults excitedly browsing or chatting who love the place.

          It is possible to make these places but it requires a lot of support. It’s not enough to just run a business, you gotta make a networked community who protects you back.

        • xspurnx@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 month ago

          Potentially libraries could fill that spot (even though they aren’t places of business that 3rd places usually are. And even though a lot of libraries still have a long way to go before they can really be called friendly/save spaces by minorities).

        • DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca
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          1 month ago

          They stopped being common place just before my time, so it would sense for you to have never experienced them.

          There isn’t a good reason for people have down-voted you.

          • Akasazh@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            Thnx. I did channel a bit of criticism, which is readily mistaken for malicious intent nowadays. Internet discussions really suffer from tribalism today.

            Thanks again for the insight, though, fascinating but of history!

    • bitchkat@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      I went to Borders and Barnes & Noble in the evening. Even in the olden days Walden Books followed mall hours.