Image transcription:
Computer science terms that sound like fantasy RPG abilities
I’ll start:
- Firewall
- Virtual Memory
- Single source of truth
- Lossless Compression (this one sounds really powerful for some reason)
Your turn
Hard mode: Try not to include closer to domain-specific things like javascript library names
kill all children
reap children
I see you play Star Wars ttrpg
The Bard I played with last campaign did that by casting gravity well next to the exterior wall of an orphanage. He succeeded with your spell.
Polymorphism
Encapsulation kinda sounds like it could be a spell too. That’s 2/3 pillars of OOP.
The last one was atomization, right? Gets a bit out of fantasy, but can definitely sound magical
I cast atomization on the giant. (9th level warlock spell)
On a failed save the targets head evaporates killing them outright.
On a success roll a d4 (or higher for higher number of limbs) and the limb clockwise from the head evaporates. Dealing either 25% or 150HP which ever is higher damage.
The orc becomes a pile of gelatin, quivering, you now must choose what it will become.
Roll for…
… seduction
You roll a 1.
This causes an unauthorized access exception and a giant bouncer rapidly approaches, screaming in fury.
I love your username
Heartbleed
a list of named vulnerabilities would be a great starter
I cast CVE-2014-0160… at the darkness
I cast CVE-2015-0565 at the goblin horde.
I am a level 17 Install Wizard.
The Wizard requests permission to edit the Registry.
Roll for intelligence… 16. The progress of the one hit BEG killing spell is 33%
<many turns later>
Roll for intelligence… 3. The progress of the one hit BEG killing spell is 96%. That’s the only action you can take on your turn. You better hope the party can stop the army from hitting the power source of this spell before it finishes.
Roll for intelligence… 5. Since that would be more than 100 the progress of the spell rolls back to 91%.
Installation Wizard - A wizard hired to protect a specific building or location.
alternatively just an HVAC technician who casts enchantments
“For the last time i am NOT an ‘installation wizard’, i am an engineer! I didn’t spend 5 years studying enchantments just for people to compare me to bedsheet-wearing dementia-addled codgers!”
Terminal escape
Privilege escalation
Command injection
Deep magic, black art, heavy wizardry, almost feels like cheating.
I don’t even know computer stuff, just picked these up via osmosis.
EDIT: blue screen of death is a very powerful abjuration spell
Asynchronous Threads
Port Forward (this one just sounds like a dope place)
Remote Host
Domain Controller
Immutable Type
Gateway Interplanetary filesystem Netmask Daemon Shadow copy Avatar
Now that’s a final boss
Doesn’t ipfs stand for interplenary file system?
CAT5e sounds like a fifth-edition ruleset
ethernet sounds like some mystical realm
Wait, did ethernet come from aether
Same idea as “the cloud.” You’d draw a diagram and the arrows would eventually go to a squiggly representation of someone else’s problem.
Yeah, it’s named after the luminiferous aether, the invisible medium light waves were theorised to move in. Turns out photons just do that instead.
Yes.
Makes me think of a net you use to capture things that are on the ethereal plane.
Avatar and icon were similarly stolen from mysticism.
World wide web would be an OP spell
A crack forms below you… and suddenly a tunnel collapses inward beneath your feet.
After a short while your fall is arrested. You are now snagged in a web, in the dim light lit from where you fell you can see this web goes on, all around you, seemingly forever.
Scroll lock. To protect your scrolls.
Think that’s that wizards get when they’re having trouble studying.
Happy cake day!
Huh, no shit! It’s been a year already.
I think that means I’m getting old.
There’s an infamous tech support tale dating back to the Windows 95 days of a very religious lady who wanted all of the wizards removed from her computer. Similar for an individual who absolutely did not want any mice around their computer
Or prevent an opposing caster from using one or more scrolls
PowerShell
Get-Date
Read-Host
Remove-Alias
Remove-Event
Sort-Object
Remove Event: 5th level spell, cast as a reaction. Instantly negates the previous action. Spell DC wisdom check.
I feel like an obvious one is missing: oracle
That feels like cheating
Using an oracle always does
scrum master
This sounds like fantasy indeed
More like scrotum master, LMAO GOTTEM
Factory Reset
Hotspot
System Corruption
