Thanks to the commentator who provided an uncensored version - have a bonus meme
Good luck to the spiders trying to learn the routine I don’t have.
What an absolute vibe. Same here.
Your spider will be scheduling an ADHD diagnosis appointment for you soon.
I have figured cockroaches do the same
Not the ones I knew in life
My garage has vents to the outside, so those bastards tend to come in at will through them at night. Every now and then, I’ll have a late night at the bars, and they get to meet the bottom of my shoe or a propane torch. I don’t care how “considerate” they are being.
I’m terribly sorry to my spider friends. You see, I’m an ADHD creature and that means there aren’t really much of routines to learn. Must be frustrating for them!
Give yourself some credit, you’re rarely walking on the ceiling
i wish i could communicate with spiders electronically through an application adjacent to direct messaging or group chats on social media. visually and physically they freak me out but if i could have casual conversations with them without having to look at them i would indeed be interested in being friends if the platonic chemistry were right. i would also happily tell them about where i see flies that bother me and places where their webs would be safe from my unintended interference.
I assume the best you can do is behavior capture and selective breeding. Feed the most inoffensive ones. Kill the ones that violate the treaty. In a few years, you could have a household of nearly invisible spiders that are somehow also always nearby.
That’s actually a good idea, though, don’t capture them otherwise you are just making the spider equivalent of a dog
I’m hoping for something more like cats. They handle the pest control and I just offer them food, shelter, healthcare, entertainment and maybe some scritches behind the cephalothorax from time to time.
I mean, is that not more or less how house spiders evolved?
Yeah, I think you’re right. I’m just suggesting we double down so I can get a tiny little collar that says “Muffin5917620384”
We build some pretty ballin caves
A black spider set up house in the corner of my bathroom next to the automatic nightlight at the start of summer. He/she(?) has been quite successful at hunting flies. There is a pile below the web of about 15 or 20 tiny black packages, neatly wrapped. I almost never see flies in the house, I don’t know how the spider has caught so many--yes, I understand those two things are related, but it seems like I’d see them flying around before they got caught in the web. Also, I’m not certain they’re flies, but they all look the same and are about the right size, and I don’t know what else they could be, I don’t see any other bugs in the house.
Anyhoo, I’m debating what I should do about the spider, if anything. One is fine, but I do not want hundreds more.
You sure those aren’t mouse droppings?
I know mouse droppings. These are not mouse droppings.
Also, I’m not certain they’re flies, but they all look the same and are about the right size, and I don’t know what else they could be
When a spider is done with it’s food quite often all that is left is a crumpled up ball of chitin, so you usually can’t tell afterwards.
Anyhoo, I’m debating what I should do about the spider, if anything. One is fine, but I do not want hundreds more.
I occasionally have egg sacs hatching in my flat and it’s not a problem. Most spiders commonly found indoors only produce egg sacs with few dozen eggs. They will usually disperse within a day or two. Maybe crack a window to allow more of them outside … but most will just die and mix into your regular household dust.
We had a big spider that did similar outside the bathroom window. Every time somebody went in at night to use the can, lights on=bugs in web.
I was sad when fall came and that spider died. She was a clever one
Spider bro!
Most likely a female spider, if it‘s actively hunting!
Love spiders. They clean my home of bugs, flies, roach. But some damn mosquitoes are still out there, should I bring in more spiders?
Sounds to me like you need bigger and faster spiders.
Maybe you have the wrong kind of spider. If you have too many spiders they might be too preoccupied eating themselves. I have a huge ass spider at home that looks like a wolf spider, but i doubt it. About once a week i pull him out of a web and have to untangle his feet
Wouldn’t that more correctly be
untangle his tarsi
(tarsuses?)
And, how did you manage to determine his sex?
how did you manage to determine his sex?
we matched on hinge
you fell in his web
ba-dum tsh
But is he into bondage?
You’re on the free tier subscription. To reduce mosquitos, you have to upgrade.
Edit: wrong thing.
I need to know what the edit was
can learn our routines
The spiders in my room are very concerned about how little sleep I’m getting and how irregular my bedtime is
I would 100% prefer seeing spiders in my home than mosquites and cockroaches, but then again I dont live in Australia and spiders are tiny asf
Australian here, living in Australia: do other countries not have spiderbros the size of your hand who hunt down mosquitoes and flies and roaches without using webs because webs are for losers?
I live in Mediterranea, we only have like thousands of mosquitos at summer and cockroaches, especially if you leave at ground floor.
Northeastern US dude here - not where I’m at. We have garden spiders, which get pretty big, but they like to make webs; and nursery web spiders, which hunt actively and get pretty big, but they don’t get that big.
Oh, and we have these things. They’re pretty well up there in terms of size, but they mostly just eat fish.
I kinda miss the wolf spider that lived in my bathroom window. Such a chill little roommate. It just kinda showed up one day, set up its little web, and we each just minded our own business.
I kept my showers short, never opened the window, and if I swatted a fly in the kitchen, I’d deposit it in its web. Never gave me much in return. But that’s fine. I was just happy to have its company.
I had a spider who lived under my shower basin at a previous house. I never bothered him and he must have been eating something since he hung around for a long time. Cool dude.
There’s a spider in my garage named Shelob. She eats mice. I live in Scotland and this is not normal.
At least I don’t have to set mice traps.
Yo how big is this fkn spider
Big enough to eat mice.
set up its little web
Then it wasn’t a wolf spider. They don’t build webs* and are active prowling hunters that won’t stick around in one place for long. Window sills are usually prime funnel-weaver (Agelenidae) real estate.
*There a few exceptions like Sosippus bit it’s only a handful out of over 2500 wolf spider species that build webs.
the ones in my area build a tunnel out of webs and sit inside it
Yes, it’s a very common thing that spiders of all sorts do. But by far the most common spiders that do that are funnel-weavers in the Agelenidae family. It’s probably one of those for you and the original commentor.
Thank you for the clarification. I didn’t know what the species was, I just kinda assumed wolf spider since it had similar markings. Wish I knew what it actually was now, honestly. Still a chill little dude.
The next time one moves in feel free to take a picture and post it to [email protected]. I’ll try my best at figuring out what it is.
At one point in my life I was living in a dank California basement room, spending 99% of my time in bed due to a severe mental health crisis, 2 years straight.
One night I saw a spider chilling at the bottom of one of my bedposts. I took a picture of it and went back to bed.
8 years later I used image search to identify what kind of spider it was.
It was a brown recluse the size of my hand.
Actually, it bit you and you died. Welcome to hell.
If we’re all in their hell it explains why things went downhill so much faster 8 years ago.
The problem with that story is that there are no brown recluses in California. They have some desert recluses in the south-east, but they barely interact with humans.
It was a brown recluse the size of my hand.
They also don’t get this big. You most certainly misidentified some other brown spider.
You’re right!
I’m not getting a very good picture of the actual spider here but I have to agree with the first AI suggestion from what I’m seeing. Reluctantly. Definitely not a recluse, though.
Poor thing lost a leg on the left! But yeah, Titiotus is a very good suggestion, checks all the boxes … it kind of annoys me because I probably wouldn’t have thought of Zoropsidae, because we only have the one here in Europe.
Every year it takes a few times of walking through a web near the house entrance before they keep the webs only up in the corners. Not sure if it’s adaptive or the ones who get webs destroyed by my face die off but somehow they always figure it out.
September is typically spider time (in western Europe). I suppose young spiders haven’t learnt their spider etiquette yet, or they just use their spider wire to fly around more than big spiders I assume.
Autumn is mating season for spiders, it’s when a lot of them come out of hiding in search of some sexy times.
You are correct!
There’s a solid chance the spiders whose webs were destroyed are dying off. Building an entire web is a pretty biologically costly process as I understand it, and having its method of catching food destroyed doesn’t bode well for a spider’s chances of making a new one
If you gotta problem with spiders you gotta problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate.
OMGawd yes. very sensitive toooooooo sensitive 🤔
Took the existing uncensored fuck and copy/pasted it over the engagement bait censorship
Shoutout to the censored version censoring the word Fuck but not Fucking.
Wow my feed just had back to back censored posts.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
That’s it. The last ‘FUCK’ was one too much. I am now lost and deeply rotten forever, no longer able to live as a normal human being. The ‘FUCK’ is now a part of myself. This is, what all the demure people have warned me about. /j
Engagement successfully baited
Thank you for your service
