When this happens, the only thing that can make you feel remotely human again is to fully shower afterwards.
Those sweats!
I also get super sweaty and start sliding around on the sest becsuse of it.
I once had to lay down on the bathroom floor in a fetal position between rounds. Sweat was literally dripping. What a way to feel alive whilst expecting death!
Maybe a vasovagal reaction? Drink water and cross your legs while on the toilet, try not to push too hard.
I’ve definitely had it bad enough that I had to lay in a cool bath between rounds. It sucks.
Not an MD, but that sounds like a problem you might want a doctor to look at. My partner of many years had terrible gallstones that were fairly debilitating. When it got to its worst and she started turning yellow, a few days before she had an episode like you described.
Talk to your doctor about weird painful shits.
Nah, it’s called “the Revenge from Beyond”, you get it from eating Beyond burgers (or similar)
Uh I eat those all the time. I have never toilet-disrobed post-burger, but maybe post-long-run pre-burger? I think that has happened.
Or just ball out of control, your choice you know
Only once? That’s not normal?
A taco bell regular eh?
No, I just regularly abuse my body and the damage is building up
Here’s a song about your troubles.
Bare minimum 33 other people have taken what I dub the “5 demon reamin’” shit
Also no one tells you to take the shirt off. And you don’t do it half way or towards the end… It’s a knowing. You just know. You plop that bad boy off and you literally wade through poo poo hell.
We are all called forth sooner or later.
Yes. In fact, it’s incredibly upsetting that you’ve brought these memories up.
Yeah but you felt like a god emerging from the other side.
Tell me you didnt, I dare you
I felt like the main character at the end of an action movie. I showered and went to sleep.
Pro tip…always keep a solid (not mesh) trash can in your bathroom. Hopefully you’ll never need to…but if you ever need to puke and shit simultaneously, you’ll be thankful.
I believe that’s called the spins
Lmao my gf made that mistake once. She had both. She just chose wrong.
This is why I always shit in the bath, makes the cleanup easier too
My current bathroom is pretty small, i can lean over the tub if need to vom while shitting. Thankfully that hasnt happened since some awful virus i had in the early 2000s. But ill never forget.
SARS?
Sounds familiar, so maybe?
SARS was also a corona virus.
On the same note: Hardware store 5 gallon buckets are one of the most useful things you can own. Gives you a spot to puke if you’re on the toilet, or a spot to sit if you only have to puke.
First, my local store has 2 gallon buckets that were 1/5 the price of their fancy designer trash cans, fit a standard shopping bag nicely, and also would be perfect for the emergency puke pail.
Second, I’ve always kneeled down with arms on the rim to prevent anything coming out my nose. Is that an issue with the bucket seat raising your body higher?
The 5 gal gives you the height to lean over and rest your arms on the back of the tank, allowing you to relax as much as possibly in the situation.
…I may have woken up in this position more than once.
Not in 40 years so far. I can’t relate to a single post in this thread.
My personal hypothesis is that american food is so full of essentially toxic stuff, that having shits like described in this thread happen has become normalised and a shared cultural experience.
But since that is only anecdotal, i might be very wrong about that.
Meh I think there is just a lot of strange jokes and strange people. Unless I’m in a rush, I always remove my shirt and hang it on the shower curtain rod. I do the same when I shave/trim, or cut my hair. When I shower… I guess I just feel more comfortable in the bathroom free of such tethers.
As far as I can tell, this may be accurate. I’ve observed that we (USA) have a taboo around discussing what happens in the bathroom. I’ve pushed back on this and, anecdotally, have uncovered that this is all too common an experience. I wound up testing myself for food allergies and sensitivities and learned that there’s a whole range of foods that my body can’t handle. As I share my situation, I find more and more people that are waking up to a similar situation.
I’ve observed that we (USA) have a taboo around discussing what happens in the bathroom.
Is that not normal? I don’t think most people are interested in how massive a shit I had last night unless it’s my doctor. We also have a term of “toilet humor” to suggest that jokes around it are some of the crudest, lowest brow humor possible.
re: the post: It’s rare but it’s happened a few times for some particularly bad bouts. I don’t think it was anything serious, probably just some slightly spoiled food or maybe slightly undercooked chicken.
Dawg. There is no way in 40 years of life have you never taken a naked dook. No way.
I’m sure as a child it must have happened.
And before a shower, or in the middle of the night.
I’m calling bs.
Oh yeah I’ve definitely had these moments.
Do people not get completely naked anyway?
I get naked whenever I open this app
You weren’t already?
I never close this app
at home i can even go with it, but do you strip down completely in a public restroom?
And risk getting my clothes all dirty in the stall? Never.
You need to disrobe before you go in there.
You don’t?
Can’t seem to upload at the moment, so… https://www.extrafabulouscomics.com/___56
Nice
Eventually.
Sometimes my stomach hurts so bad I get on the toilet fully clothed.
Looks like you almost made it.
I’m lactose intolerant and love milkshakes… So yes
Buy lactaid tablets. They’re pretty cheap, and they work surprisingly well. In my opinion, life without cheese is not a life worth living, so in that regard, lactaid saved my life.
I used to think that, but then I went a month and I think I just killed off that part of my gut biome, because the intense cravings just… stopped
Isn’t most cheese of any real age essentially lactose free anyway though? I know lactose intolerant people who can eat cheese, but not other dairy products
Soft cheeses like mozzarella and cream cheese have enough lactose to give me a bad time without lactaid. Milk and sour cream too. I love pizza and Alfredo sauce, so lactase lets me still have those whenever I want. A lot of cheeses are considered low lactose, but dose matters. Sharing a charcuterie is not something I’m brave enough to try without popping a lactase lol.
I’ve used them and they help sometimes but I also just forget to take them all the time lol usually if I’m chugging a large milkshake I’m having a bad enough day that I’m not thinking a few hours ahead.
Also anyone reading this: the chewable lactaid tablets will make you want to die. They are one of the most unpleasant things I’ve had in my mouth
usually if I’m chugging a large milkshake I’m having a bad enough day that I’m not thinking a few hours ahead.
…But you just pop one or two with your first bite. Are you taking some other thing? And my box doesn’t say anything about chewing it.
They didn’t say that they wanted to solve this issue. Maybe they like it.
That’s called the shake shits and it’s the next level of constipation diarrhea.
This person is so close to realizing they’re lactose intolerant
This is a very American thing, same with the “fast food (mostly taco bell) that fucks you up” meme. I’m not saying anyone outside the US never experiences this, just that it seems so much more common in the US than anywhere else. I’ve asked friends about this and the fast food gut wrecking and none, independent of where they’re from other than the US, have experienced it enough to where they could relate to these memes.
I’m not surprised based on how shitty the food in the US is, both in terms of quality and ingredients that are illegal in most of the world.
Along with this is that very specific 'Murican obesity that makes peoples bodies look so different than same weight obesity anywhere else. It’s very odd.
