“Hellen Keller wasn’t real” is an immediate swipe away from a profile. I don’t care if they’re joking or if they’re actually a nut job conspiracy theorist. If the latter, obviously we’re not gonna vibe, and if the former, that entire joke/line of thinking is prefaced on ableism and the idea that a deaf and blind woman could not have accomplished what she did, not to mention the erasure of a prominent socialist, suffragist, and activist. I fucking hate that joke.
Doesn’t matter had sex.
A VERY prominent and UNAPOLOGETIC socialist. The way history has defanged her turned her into a simpleton who learned to speak is an absolute appalling insult to the strong, principled woman she was.
Exactly! She’s one of my favorite historical figures, but when if she wasn’t, even if our politics did not align so well, she does not deserve to swept into the dustbin like this, liberal washed and eventually erased entirely. It’s disgusting.
There are absolutely a lot of awful realizations about how inhumanly the world treats people, but the realization that you don’t even get to have the legacy of the life you lived? That’s maybe the most heinous one.
This is the first I’ve ever heard about it, and I’m so confused
I guess this is another moon landing flat earth sovereign citizen thing.
it’s a nothingburger that people online like to tilt at.
because they are all brave Knights errant, who are rescuing damsels or something.
where you around for Bonsai Kittens? lots of people lost their shit over that thinking it was some legit thing.
This is not at all comparable to bonsai kittens. Bonsai kittens were not at all based in reality. Hellen Keller was an actual, real human person who is being erased by idiotic conspiracy theorists. She was a disabled woman who overcame profound disability to become an incredibly example to millions of people, while also being a highly intelligent political thinker. She has been liberal washed for a century, and now she is being erased entirely. It’s not a funny little joke to disregard the accomplishments of someone who represents something that profound to people who are routinely discriminated against. The woman grew up at a time when disabled people were locked away in hospitals, homes, and attics.
Do you have any idea how utterly insulting it is to see people saying she could not have done what she did, or that she did not even exist, simply because they cannot imagine that a woman with her disabilities could learn language? As if to say that disabled people should be outright rejected because their experience is different from an an able bodied persons?
This has nothing to do with “rescuing damsels,” and the suggestion that it does is insulting in and of itself. The woman is dead, she cannot rescue herself, she deserves the recognition that she has lost. When she is taught in schools, it’s an abbreviated, liberal washed, abridged few paragraphs, when the reality is that she is one of the most important figures in the American disability rights movement, and one of the most prominent examples of a socialist woman in US history, especially southern American US history.
dude, idiots think bonsai kittens were real and were going around outraged about it.
just like idiots think helen keller isn’t real.
you are taking idiots way too seriously. please go outside and enjoy the sunshine and stop being ragebaited. you are not saving the world by being angry on the internet at stupid people. all you are doing is inflating your own ego and making yourself miserable.
It started as a joke, and now there are actual people who believe that she was either not a real person, or that her accomplishments were faked. People with disabilities are already assumed to be lesser than able bodied people, and this particular trend is stripping away one of the most prominent examples to the contrary. It is also erasing one of the most prominent examples of a famous socialist woman in American history, and a southern American socialist woman at that. Her story is amazing, but more importantly, she is historically significant. She is an example to so many people, and she has been liberal-washed for a century, and now she’s being erased entirely. It’s disgusting.
Sickening. I had no idea she was being attacked in this way.
I spent years getting frustrated on the apps, now I’m ending up marrying my best friend’s sister who I’ve known for 16 years and I was always too afraid to ask out. Turned out she was feeling the same way.
Life’s weird when you’re socially awkward.anytime i asked out an awkward shy girl she tells me to f off, despite flirting with me.
and of course the outgoing demanding women can’t get enough of me, even though I loathe them.
Really long story:
I once knew a girl in high school who I, in a rare moment of boldness while we were away from prying eyes, asked if she would be my girlfriend. She had been my friend for a short while and she fucking chuckled immediately in response, almost instinctively and said “No, sorry.”. My autistic ass did not exactly immediately understand why she laughed until I ruminated later.
That said, she seemed to be very friendly with me afterward, like maybe she felt bad and still liked me as a friend… And despite feeling hurt by the way she responded I still hung out with her every once in a while. She eventually got a hot confident boyfriend, because she was also hot. And I kind of started avoiding her because it hurt seeing her with a guy who I felt clearly was better than me, caused me to spiral into self loathing when I saw him. I did not know I was autistic, I just knew I was an infamously weird dork.
Fast forward ~11 years later I stumble into her and she looks like shes a different and much sadder person. I don’t want to body shame but she looked a lot worse and I was no longer particularly attracted to her, she was ok looking. She was going on about a recent break up with a guy who she said cheated on her to the bartender.
Now I’m polyamorous, and I legit don’t understand and actively dislike monogamy, but obviously I have a faint idea of how painful being cheated on would feel like, and she seemed super sad and I felt bad for her. After talking with her and catching up a little for like 20 minutes, she drunkenly tried to make out with me.
I got away from her and the internal anger I felt was supremely intense. Like, what the actual fuck, fuck you. You fucking said no and now that you’re washed up and depressed about your ex using me as a fall back.
I cannot describe the feeling of grief flare as well. Like, maybe if she had said yes back then. Maybe I could of had a normal romantic experience as a high schooler instead of being what I was. Sure maybe also wouldn’t have worked out like most relationships, but still. I was a really lonely fucked up high schooler with a completely empty romantic life. Just a void.
I’m doing better now romantically but I was also still having trouble getting any romance at this point in my life even 11 year later. I was still painfully lonely. But the absolute bitterness I felt toward her made even pity for her out the fucking window for me and my desperation for any intimacy dried up instantly in that moment.
Part of me wonders if I should have just gone for it and I was being petty. I don’t know. It just makes me kind of sad to think about.
The first time I asked my future wife out she said no to me. Straight no, I felt so bad that day. And the reason was that it felt unnatural at the moment, we were getting closer and I jumped to conclusions too fast.
I guess the moral of the story is you can get a second chance.
she didn’t tell you to f off though.
that’s very different than no.
So what you’re saying is literally every single girl you hit on told you to f right off?
Because if that’s true then it might be time to change strategy…
Dating apps are brutal for men, especially 4channers.
They’re terrible for women as well, just in a very different way.
What is it they say, dating apps for men are like being in a desert looking for anything they can drink.
Dating apps for women are like being in a swap; plenty to drink but none of it good.
No, the problem with dating apps for women is that there are tons of “regular” guys looking for a relationship, but because of the gender ratios there are also quite a few “top 5%” guys relative to the number of women. Guys that are very attractive and have great charisma, the kind you’d see on the bachelorette or similar shows.
What ends up happening is that most women will match with these guys (the same way men will swipe right on every supermodel looking woman just in case). So you have relatively few guys dating pretty much all the women they can, because our society says that sleeping with a lot of women if you can is a great way to show you have value. And for these men there are plenty of fish in the sea and no reason to settle down so they get labeled “fuckboys”. Fundamentally these men would normally be completely inaccessible to most women, but the gender ratios on dating apps create this situation where average men don’t get any matches and average women are only dating fuckboys who don’t want a relationship. Then they leave the app and quit dating for a bit out of frustration.
In a normal setting average men and women pair up over shared interests and goals, and fuckboys date supermodels (over their shared focus on aesthetic beauty and charisma I suppose).
Obviously this is an overgeneralisation. But it’s not exactly a gendered issue since if you flip the genders you’d other still get the same dynamic. The problem on these apps is the gender ratios. You can’t have health matchmaking when there are 10 men for every woman (or vice versa).
This wreaks of incel talking points. You’re literally doing chads and stacys here. I think the real problem may be more things like this:
Women tend to have realistic expectations and seek out partners their own age on dating sites. Men of all ages try to get with 22 year olds. 40 year old men who are bald, 50 lbs overweight, and with no real hobbies will message women in their 20s expecting a response. And they themselves will have a long list of weed-out criteria. No woman nearly as obese as he is. No women with children. No women over 30.
The data shows that women are much more reasonable in their partner expectations than men. This is likely what is largely responsible for the difference in gender ratios on the platforms.
Women on dating apps rate 80% of men below average and men rate 50% of women below average. You can say women are more reasonable but it sure doesn’t look like it.
What I said has nothing to do with chads and Stacey’s. It’s an outcome of an almost 4:1 gender ratios on dating apps. The outcomes are the same in anything that’s badly matched. 4:1 jobs to employees means employees will jump ship at the slightest hiccup seeking greener pastures with very little getting done. The opposite ratio is of course worse with employees being abused in every way like in every recession.
Any time the ideal ratio is 1:1 and you throw it off that hard you’re going to have dysfunctional human behaviour because we’re not designed to have so many options. We evolved in deep scarcity and a key aspect of our survival was optimizing our choices. When we have no choices, or too many choices we are dysfunctional. Fuck even too many brands of shampoo is stressful to choose from.
I’m not judging anyone or stereotyping anyone here. The same would happen with reversed genders. It’s just dysfunctional human behaviour because of shitty algorithms.
It’s actually not an incel talking point. If I remember correctly, this came out of plenty of fishes Data dives on their populace. They basically showed that some top X percentage of men got the vast majority of messages and interactions on the platform and that really emboldened the incel talking points. Also remember they did some dives on race and basically found out that Indian men and black women are matched at vastly lower rates than anyone else.
Anyway, I’m on team Go do things that interest you and never install dating apps. The people that work on these apps have a vested interest in keeping you an unhappy customer forever. So why would you pay them or give them your data? Because I mean if I was them I would make sure a free user never got his dick wet except in rare instances so that he would tell other people to get my app.
Dating apps belong to a trash can. Hobby is the best place to find a partner. Go to a local meet up to play board games, hike, cycle, jam, improv, debate or whatever. The only way left in the modern world
If I found a girl in my garden I would assume she was fae and be most suspicious.
Depends where you live. In my current city there are almost no women going to those kinds of meetups and the city I grew up in is so dead there just aren’t any events like that.
Date men then
Flea markets, anyone? There are several big ones in my area, occurring regularly. I go several times a year and it’s always so much fun when I do. And it’s very easy to chat people up.
I met my soon to be wife on a dating app. You might think from that opening sentence that I’m about to extol the virtues of dating apps. I am not. They are garbage, so I agree the trash can is the best place.
This was during covid lockdowns, so no social opportunities, and I had recently moved to a new area and didn’t know anyone nearby. So seemed the only option, terrible as it is. And yeah it worked out for me, but that’s beating the odds. It was an unpleasant experience and was thrilled to be done with it. But, it might be a similar situation for others. No better option seemingly available.
That said, prior to that, I attended a lot of meetups via meetup.com and had a fair bit of luck dating through that. And regardless of if I met someone or not at any given thing, I had fun.
Walking, cycling and making jam are all things I do on my own tough
But together is fun
Yes, but if you are single who would you do it with
Find friends online? You don’t have to do it with your SO
Hobby is the best place to find a partner.
no it fucking isn’t. I can 100% guarantee the nerds reading this that your wife isn’t going to appear in the progressive metal moshpit, the netrunner tournament or the climbing center…
well I mean, that last one has a chance of happening, but don’t hit on women where they exercise for fuck sake. Also, Disregard females, acquire ascents.
I’m into ham radios. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve seen a woman?
I mean… I don’t think you’ve seen your ham radio buddies either.
Hah! You obviously have never heard of SSTV!
Maybe get into sausage?
Maybe there’s some geographical or cultural differences, but I can say for sure that hobbies is a perfectly normal place to meet women in my area of the US. I have dated plenty of people I’ve met through hobbies.
Also I think there’s a difference between picking up a woman at a gym vs picking them up at a running or biking meetup. I think just like with anything else, there are inappropriate ways to do it, but it’s not socially unacceptable from my understanding whereas gym pickups really are.
I think just like with anything else, there are inappropriate ways to do it, but it’s not socially unacceptable from my understanding whereas gym pickups really are.
yes. I agree with this nuance
I can say for sure that hobbies is a perfectly normal place to meet women in my area of the US. I have dated plenty of people I’ve met through hobbies.
the thing to help young men reading this realise isn’t that hobbies are unacceptable, it’s to be wary of going to male dominated spaces and expecting that to count as socialising that will lead you to finding a partner. The promise of feminism of equal gender participation in human affairs still has not been fulfilled.
Yeah I think it also must be said that you should befriend women in the hobby. I’ve seen guys who go into hobby spaces and befriend the guys and hit on the women and it doesn’t work out. But when you’re friends with the women you may find yourself connecting with one, or being set up by your friends.
Yeah… “Join a hobby group” is the the go-to answer for people who are devoid of ideas but still want to feel helpful.
Honestly, I think there’s something to be said for going back to “little old lady in the community who matches up young singles.”
A yenta? In this economy?!?!
Matchmaker matchmaker…
Honestly, I think there’s something to be said for going back to “little old lady in the community who matches up young singles.”
Ah, the AI algorithm. Aged Intelligence. Or amo(u)r intelligence
I dunno, I’ve met people through my hobby, including my current partner. It’s sporadic but eh. The internet is a cesspit.
I don’t know almost every couple I know met because they were at something that they both were interested in. If all your hobbies include absolutely zero women, then maybe you should have a real long look at yourself And take a chance on some stuff that’s outside your comfort zone. There’s nothing of value that can be gained without challenge.
hit on women where they exercise for fuck sake
Women can say fuck off to me for themselves
He’s got a point about carbon copy profiles, they all blur together after a while, and it’s very difficult to find something interesting to talk about in a lot of them.
“fostering men until they find their forever homes.”
I see this one at least 10 times a day.
I know it’s meant to be positive but gives me horror to me, like Hansel and Gretel
it means she isn’t accountable for her actions that drive men away. you are smart to be afraid.
and on the first date she will tell you how all her exes are awful and it’s your job as her next boyfriend to fix all their mistakes. you basically start out the relationship with her in emotional debt, and you’ll never pay it off with the interest rate she is charging.
I have a suspicion it’s one of the default prompts. Or they’re just asking an AI or something.
Helen Keller wasn’t real
wat
Deaf, blind, and socialist? She’s just woke propaganda
Hellen Keller went with Goku and Sonic to take The Ring to Narnia for Zordon.
you’re not real either, buddy.
Shut up Jaden Smith
No comment.
Reminded me of a terrible joke.
Why couldn’t Hellen Keller drive a car?
Because she was a woman.
And they’re fake hikers and travelers too. I met somebody irl who said one of their interests was eating food but they just go to the places for the vibes and not for the food. Whereas I’m the complete opposite, I would go to a crack den for the best food.
The best food is usually in places like that too. My home city has this literal hole in a wall mexican place. You know it’s good when it’s also a grocery store and nobody speaks good English except for the kids who are the wait staff. Best fucking food I’ve ever had and I’m gutted because they closed down 6 months later and I don’t know if they moved or went out of business 😭😭😭
amen brother.
best places to eat are the places with no white people. whitey has no taste.
but sucks that usually such places don’t last and get replaced with generic white person food.
No need to get all racist, mate
There’s this bengali place I love that is also a grocery store. It’s so epic
I have a Pavlovian response to seeing shelves of spices and dried peppers in unlabeled bags in a language I can’t read because of this. If I’m already hungry and I walk in to a new place and see that suddenly I’m ravenous.
Ohh a group of my friends has someone like that. Although everyone has been getting increasingly distant from her as she won’t turn up to anything that isn’t fancy enough for her, and there is an increasing feeling that she only ever messages us when she doesn’t have anything else she would rather do going on - we hear from her much more when she is unemployed and single.
They do be trifflin
A date I had said their hobbies were walking and hiking among other things. Our 1st date was at a local park with a 20 step stair case that took her out… It was my first exposure to this bizarre labelling that goes on here.
There wasn’t a 2nd lol
I love walking and hiking, but having to walk uphill takes me out, too.
Humans are just animals at the end of the day. This is all a sexual display of fitness. Hiking and traveling tell people you’re physically and financially fit. You can move around no issue. You are social. You are socially and physically healthy.
They lie a ton and show pics of hiking from 5 years ago and act like they can still do all that. Or they never could and the pics are deceiving… Regardless, it’s just a game all genders are playing to show sexual fitness. It looks like carbon copies because it’s the best way to communicate “my body moves well and I can afford luxury”.
joke is on them.
I can’t afford luxury shit, but I can ride my non luxury bike like 150 miles in a day.
“my body moves well and I can afford luxury”
Swipes right
I had a firdt date with someone who loved hiking. I asked her if she wanted to go on a trail i like. I was worrued that it was maybe to long and steep, or maybe even to short. When we met, she was way bigger than i expected. I told ger that we could do something else, but she insiated. She was super slow and i was worried sge’s gonna pass out. She asked me if how far we have to go, when i could still see my car. Similar thing happened when i went on a vike ride with someone who was really into cycling
a vike ride
I feel like this could be really uncomfortable because of the helmet horns.
I invited a girl out on a bike ride and she literally did pass out. Was able to revive her and walk her home.
She never talked to me again.
swipes right
Best Chinese food I’ve had was in a legit city basement.
Best philly cheesesteak I’ve ever had was from a hospital cafeteria.
What does hiking and traveling even mean? I’m nomadic and spend most of my time hiking. The only people doing the same are retired 60+. I never see anyone my age on trails, camping, being nomadic. I’ve literally never met someone my age or younger who’s a functioning tramp. In the last year I’ve only met one couple in a schoolie who were <50.
Hiking means going for a walk in a park after work, or spending a day, well, hiking in the woods on the weekend.
Is your expectation that hiking means only people that don’t have to spend most of their time working and can wander the earth instead?
where do you live?
I see lots of the nomadic digital natives went i am hiking and traveling. but I’m rich and so are they and we go to rich people places.
people like that don’t hang out in poor people places. they go from trendy brand name location to trendy brand name location.
Well I suppose for most people hiking is a thing they do a week or two out of the year, or maybe they go on short hikes where they don’t even need to camp.
Full-time is rare. But as far as I know, the stereotypical backpacking locations are still full of unwashed backpackers
At some point I think they were designed to be deleted but there’s more money in the opposite. Somewhere along the road, they realized and made a shift and they got shitty.
It was 2015. Pretty much the same year as most tech.
>Why can’t I get a partner by sitting alone in my room and swiping?
>This must be the fault of women
You know, I’m very much for equality, but in this situation a woman can do exactly that and get loads of dates.
It’s the initial connection that is the highest barrier for men, after that, yeah, kinda need to leave the house to get a partner.
I think its cuz there is a lot more men there then women
it’s because gender dynamics are that men pursue and women select.
dating apps or no, that’s how it’s always been.
biology is a judgy bitch.
Meanwhile OP’s profile
Probably just messaging fake accounts/bots to make it look like women use the app but then real women get the flack for it
Yeah, that’s what they do. People don’t notice that? I’ve known several guys that worked this kind of jobs on and off when really strapped for money. Pretending to be women online. Unethical AF, of course, but this is more widespread than you could possibly imagine. And it’s not hard at all to get hired. I feel sorry for the dudes falling for it, though.
dating app companies have different incentives than you, and you cant afford to pay them enough to align the two. I think this is inevitable and it always greatly surprises me when people actually find love over these apps
It worked around COVID time - I matched a few people and met my partner on it. It did get bought out soon after though.
