It’s just, too much, so much bad and evil happening and I can’t take it, nor can I look away.

I use these platforms to distract from the gnawing constant loneliness I feel that never goes away.

I can’t spend more than 5 minutes without a video playing or checking some kind of media to fill the void.

I’m feeling so suicidal nowadays, but I’m stuck in this existence for the time being.

  • Artwork@lemmy.worldEnglish
    51·
    4 days ago

    Wonderful day!

    I am sorry… to know that…, dear @[email protected] …

    Oh! Have you considered art, actual hobby, or visiting local galleries/restaurants/events around in your town or farther, or travelling around the globe?

    Have you checked out some art related to Stoicism? For example, a start may be translations:

    Do you think you are the only one this has happened to? Are you amazed to find that even with such extensive travel, to so many varied locales, you have not managed to shake off gloom and heaviness from your mind? As if that were a new experience! You must change the mind, not the venue. Though you cross the sea, though “lands and cities drop away,” as our poet Virgil says, still your faults will follow you wherever you go…

    Bring an accusation against yourself, as stringently as you can. Then conduct the investigation. Take the role of the accuser first, then the judge, and let that of the advocate come last. Offend yourself sometimes! Farewell.

    Source (Letters On Ethics To Lucilius by Seneca…) [4 BC - 65 AD]

    A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

    -–

    Our language has wisely sensed these two sides of man’s being alone. It has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone. ~ Paul Tillich

    Source

    So, here goes: one last letter now
    One last attempt to make sense
    Who have I been writing to? I’m not sure anymore
    What have I been trying to accomplish?

    ~ A Broken Jar - La Dispute

      • Pat_Riot@lemmy.todayEnglish
        3·
        4 days ago

        Have you considered art? Try drawing or painting. Entry level stuff is dirt cheap and creative endeavors are a great way to get all the ick out of your brain.

        Edit: or writing? Perhaps poetry, maybe try to write a song or a story, or a song that tells a story.

          • KatakiY@lemmy.worldEnglish
            1·
            2 days ago

            No you didn’t, but depression can make a lot of choices for you and it’s difficult to see the options around you that you have until you force yourself to do something different.

            Idk where you live but I am willing to bet there’s a food out reach program looking for volunteers within 25 miles unless you live In a super rural area.

            I know you implied you aren’t up for it earlier but whatever your doing right now is clearly isn’t helping, so maybe something outside your comfort zone?

            Humans are social creatures even if youd rather be alone most of the time, like I do, and getting involved In a community mutual aid program really helps others and can help yourself.