ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 7 months agoWork smarter, not harderlemmy.worldimagemessage-square101linkfedilinkarrow-up11arrow-down10
arrow-up11arrow-down1imageWork smarter, not harderlemmy.worldickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 7 months agomessage-square101linkfedilink
minus-squareslaacaa@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up0·7 months agoThat’s why my CV looks so strong: Director of Internal Audit; Enron Corp. (1998-2001) Senior Vice President for Risk Management; Lehman Brothers (2002-2008)
minus-squaresurewhynotlem@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up0·7 months agoI see from your resume that you’re good at looking the other way while we make billions. You’re hired.
minus-squareAgent641@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up0·7 months agoHead of security, Wold Trade Centre, NY, 1995-2001.
minus-squarermuk@feddit.uklinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up0·7 months agoHead of QC for O-Ring production, NASA, Jan 1983 - Oct 1986 Pipeline Integrity Officer, Exxon Valdez, Oct 1986 - March 1989 Chief of Security and Intelligence, Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building, Mar 1989 - Apr 1995
minus-squarejubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.workslinkfedilinkarrow-up0·7 months agoI see you left that short stint at WorldCom off your resume.
minus-squareFrostyTheDoo@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up0·7 months agoDidn’t you also help found that FTX crypto exchange a few years ago too?
minus-squareFluffy Kitty Cat@slrpnk.netlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up0·7 months agoI was the lead engineer behind the graphite tips rods at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant and I helped Boeing design MCAS for the 737 max
minus-squarehperrin@lemmy.calinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up0·7 months agoWeren’t you also the Lead Safety Engineer at OceanGate for a while?
minus-squareDejected Warp Core@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up0·7 months agoI just now realized: someone has the most cursed resume on LinkedIn. I’d expect something in line with this.
minus-squarehydroptic@sopuli.xyzdeleted by creatorlinkfedilinkarrow-up0·7 months agoOhh it’d be hilarious to try and find cursed resumes. However that would mean signing up for LinkedIn and I’d rather repeatedly hit myself on the head with a hammer. The brain damage would be about equal
That’s why my CV looks so strong:
Director of Internal Audit; Enron Corp. (1998-2001)
Senior Vice President for Risk Management; Lehman Brothers (2002-2008)
I see from your resume that you’re good at looking the other way while we make billions. You’re hired.
PLEASE
Head of security, Wold Trade Centre, NY, 1995-2001.
Head of QC for O-Ring production, NASA, Jan 1983 - Oct 1986 Pipeline Integrity Officer, Exxon Valdez, Oct 1986 - March 1989 Chief of Security and Intelligence, Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building, Mar 1989 - Apr 1995
I see you left that short stint at WorldCom off your resume.
Didn’t you also help found that FTX crypto exchange a few years ago too?
I was the lead engineer behind the graphite tips rods at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant and I helped Boeing design MCAS for the 737 max
Weren’t you also the Lead Safety Engineer at OceanGate for a while?
No, that was at Boeing.
I just now realized: someone has the most cursed resume on LinkedIn. I’d expect something in line with this.
Ohh it’d be hilarious to try and find cursed resumes.
However that would mean signing up for LinkedIn and I’d rather repeatedly hit myself on the head with a hammer. The brain damage would be about equal