Thou shall try really really really hard not to kill anyone, unless they pray to a different invisible made up man in the sky to the one you do.
pro tip: you can’t stutter if you never existed.
you also can’t loose yor peen tip or your protip.
If I remember my history correctly, one of the primary draws of the at the time new christianity over judaism was specifically that dudes wouldn’t need to lop off part of their dongs in a pre-anesthesia world.
At least they did it bcs they believed in some BS.
Unlike the suckers doing it for ‘esthetic reasons’Somewhere in heaven, God is sitting on top of a huge pile of foreskins like Smaug.
Tbf Jesus didn’t start this shit.
If you believe in the Trinity he did
the only trinity I believe in
The son is just as creepy as the dad and the holy what the the mother fuck is that‽
I love this comment.
So there is that story in Genesis where the sons of Jacob have an army of 318 men circumcised so they could follow their religion.
Just think they probably put then into a pile, a small little mountain of foreskins.
They made them into some wallets
You know how you can collect rubber bands over time, wrapping them around each other, and eventually you have a great big ball on your desk to play with?
My wallet is really at the end of its life cycle and this comment made me consider
It’s fucking crazy bro my parents were believers but weren’t actually subscribed to any traditional religion and them mfers still trimmed my shit
Yeah you’ve got to wonder if that extra bit they trimmed off would be nicer to have there or not. But I guess the mutilated pecker is all I’ll ever know so I guess its fine?
1: Reduces feeling, bad for you 2: Reduces feeling, good for your partner 3: Might be useful hygienically if you ever live as a desert nomad, so that’s nice
Blame Kellogg
The cereal guy? Next you’re gonna tell me Nestle’s been up to some shady shit
Well the cereal was invented cause he thought bland foods would stop you masturbating but that was clearly not working so he leaned back into foreskin hoarding.
I am not kidding as much as that sentence would make it seem.
Let’s clear it up though, it’s the guy who invented the cereal who was a nut. His brother was the one who was like “I’m gonna sell the flakes, not the dick snip bit.” They got into a huge battle when the quack doctor realized his brother was making more money selling the cereal than he was selling religious pseudoscience.
And ultimately Christian sexual repression
I can understand desert people coming up with some excuse to preform the operation because sand is coarse and rough and irritating… and it gets everywhere.
But it’s just nicer to think they wanted their kids to have the most attractive cocks in the village
You can tell when a tradition was set in by the hidden undertone it allowed to play for it. “Time for your circumcision… Whoops! Guess you are my eunuch surrogate now, totally didn’t mean to eliminate the competition / your genes from my gene pool of surrogates!” Yeah, probably looking too much into it, it’s not like it’s a practice associated with a culture heavily associated with a god’s chosen master race ideology or anything. Totes just a coincidence that it was fabulously sported by the slave loving Egyptians and cultures famous for their obsession with slave land owners of the times as a “rite of passage”. /actualshitcomment
“We’re going to cut off (part of) your Johnson!”
Fucking Nazarenes. Nothing changes.
Circumcision is not a Christian practice.
It’s popular in America because some 19th Century RFK jr style health freaks convinced everybody that masturbation caused disease.
Kellogg was never actually that influential. People mostly knew he was a crackpot at the time.
An episode of Adam Ruins Everything gave him way too much credit, and then people on the internet just keep repeating it because Kellogg was such a weird guy.
Even biblically speaking, it’s anti-christian. The first chunk of Galatians talks about how they should not force anyone to be circumcised. It goes against the bible to force anyone to be circumcised.
I know it more from Islam.
Arguably the same thing in different colors tho.
Fun fact: Adventists (Kellogg’s religion) run the second largest system of Christian schools, behind the Catholics. It definitely won’t leave you weird and sexually repressed for the rest of your life.
Found some really nuts messianic Christian family on Facebook, and the mom just gives birth on the back of the skoolie they live in without any medical care, thankfully they only have one son but the father circumcised him with a razor by himself on the bus, and mom thinks that is a swell idea and wrote up a manual about it for her website. They drive around putting up religious signs and begging donations off their fellow believers to live on, and I want to call CPS so badly but I don’t know how to find them. It’s SO much worse than that too.
Egads, that poor child is probably going to have significant scarring around the cuts. Assuming he didn’t get a massive infection that they didn’t bother to get treated until amputation was necessary.
Genital mutilation for all your babies! Use myths and lies to explain why it’s necessary!
You mean to tell me it’s not physically impossible to clean the dick if the foreskin isn’t cut off? My whole uncircumcised life has been a lie!
Casual reminder that many religious rules were just basic Hygiene practices from prehistoric times which were later absorbed into the local beliefs.
You are quite right. There is a tribe in East Africa which makes a hole on their lower lip and place a huge disk into it. It is theorised that the practice started to prevent lockjaw disease that may have been prevalent in the area eons ago. I am not sure how this prevents lockjaw but maybe for them it works.
The whole “hygiene” and circumcision is a myth and a lie. Your foreskin has no bearing on your ability to wash your dick
The whole “hygiene” and circumcision is a myth and a lie.
It’s not like there microbiology science existed thousands of years ago. It may have been a hygiene practice because people thought it was helpful. Bloodletting is BS as well and people thought it helped drain the body’s poisons.
Bloodletting is therapeutic… for some very specific conditions. For example, hemochromatosis, where the body has too much iron, and there has been some preliminary study that blood donations are a way to reduce the amount of PFAS in blood.
But everyone has PFAS in their blood; not every male has (beyond normal) phimosis.
From the context it’s 100% clear that I meant the medieval practice, before modern science.
Not so long ago people would go weeks without washing their bodies, let alone in prehistoric times.
It does if it’s tight. I couldn’t wash it due to the extreme tightness. I don’t agree with doing it for religious reasons, just saying your argument there is not without holes.
Your foreskin has no bearing on your ability to wash your dick
I imagine the whole circumcision thing makes sense when you’re wandering the desert for years and there’s not a whole lot of water around, but other than that, yeah.
I imagine the whole circumcision thing makes sense when you’re wandering the desert for years and there’s not a whole lot of water around, but other than that, yeah.
So blowjobs 3 times a day?
