I have always been extremely sensitive to like, everything.

I used to get abused by my father for being “too sensitive” about almost anything, emotionally, physically, etc. So I did what any “real man” would do, and masked, masked masked. Spent decades of my life forcing myself to be hard, be strong, push through discomfort, show no pain, no emotions, no sensitivity.

As one might imagine, it didn’t do me well in the long run. I was only recently diagnosed as autistic, I haven’t told anyone outside my partner, as nobody would understand, the mask is glued on now, this is just me. A shell on the outside and a hidden universe inside. The long showers are total oblivion and I wish I could just stay in that water stream for days without end.