Credit: u/manchesterMan0098
I would say that, conditional to the man having a partner, intimacy is a hell of a lot more accessible than therapy. Provided that intimacy is not rationed or made conditional, this could provide more lasting and more timely healing than therapy as well.
With that said, we really need to normalize men seeking therapy. There are far too many men where the conditions above are not met, and so could and would benefit more from therapy than intimacy.
To all those saying, “but why shouldn’t men want to be cared for?”
This meme plays into a narrative the makes women subservient.
It suggests that only men “battle”, and that being a man and “battling” entities them to care by women.
No where in this is acknowledgement that women have burdens too, and that all people benefit from care.
No where in this is any hint of reciprocity. If anything, it implies that the “joy” of taking care of “her man” should be enough.
No. Walk the fuck on. Having a penis doesn’t entitle you to one-sided care.
The other thing implied by this - that women should ‘naturally’ be able to fix ‘her man’. But if a woman in broken? Oof - ‘she has Daddy issues’ and better fix herself, right?
And what if a woman tries to fix ‘her man’ and fails? Oh look - isnt that convenient - society just took all his faults and made them her failures. Wow! Who wouldn’t want to sign up for that??
And just look at that success rate. You can count up the number of women killed by intimate partners and see how great this plan is.
Society really needs to get past this childish narrative that tells men they should expect to find a manic pixie dream girl who lives only to make him happy. Men make fun of girls for believing in Prince Charming, but this is truly the more destructive fairy tale.
I get that the original was a bit sensationalist but I don’t see a problem with the overall message. Yes it was needlessly gendered but again that doesn’t change the message.
People need people that care about them and will listen. That’s it.
Yeah my fucking battle of testing software and doing deep dives on bugs.
¿Por qué no los dos?
Someone who would lay down in bed with me and hold me while I cry would be a tremendous help to my mental health, but a therapist would be real nice, too. Too bad it’s a five-month wait to get in to see one around here.
“I dont need therapy, I just need to have a woman that reminds me of my mother and will fuck me”
Ok? So what’s your point?
men dont need therapy when they have meth, coke and fent
*want
Yes but also definitely no.
I’ve been to therapy and no amount of conversation or drugs can replace genuine intimacy and a lot of single men would have their mental health improved more by an escort than a therapist.
Maybe these men should stop seeing women as objects and relationships and transactions
It’s a shame that in some cultures simple friendships men, women, mixed are not accompanied by physical touch too, like a hug. And also being able to talk openly about the struggles, like us women do with our friends. You get a lot from a friend’s hug or them listening to you.
Endorphins from sex are absolutely not a long term mental health treatment. It might improve your mood at that moment, but not your health.
Is it a cure? No, but it’s usually a better treatment than what therapy offers, mental health requires constant maintenance, and in a lot of ways it’s smarter to keep your mental conditions off of a record authoritarians can use against you.
Not to mention I’ve seen people create more problems for themselves by focusing on them too much. Too much therapy is worse than too little.
Look at the user name, it’s s truthful joke.
All the battles you fought that day? Unless you are on the front line in Ukraine you should be able to find a more chill lifestyle.
Men can always care for each other and stop expecting women to do all the work.
“Stop expecting women to do all the work.” All the work?
So men should be expected to do the (actual) work and the emotional work?
So what good are women? Baby ovens?
I could explain you, but your wouldn’t understand
You incels are so weird.
Lol. If you only knew.
Yeah this is something I’ve been trying to walk the talk about.
I joined an adults sports league and have a few friends I call almost daily on rotation (whether they want it or not lol) and I’ve started feeling a lot more fulfilled and less anxious.
Most of those friends expect my calls now, and I get questioned if I can’t make it to a practice or game. It feels good to have your presence desired, whether it’s in a romantic or platonic relationship. There’s an epidemic of men who think that that void can only be filled with a lover.
Or we can just produce fewer of them.
I can’t afford therapy. And I desperately need it.
There should be options - crisis numbers and volunteer work around it. For free.
You can find some help over using a search engine 💪
I’m sick of the division. Feminism and incel are trash created only to divide and distract lower classes problems meanwhile billionaires making more and more.
feminism and incel
🎶 One of these things is not like the other,
one of these things doesn’t belong. 🎶
I probably have to spell it out: Incels and feminists are not the same. Feminism is legitimate. Incels are trash.
Yes it is. Your fight is sectorized and the only goal is to create a men apartheid. I have a lot of examples to give. Metro in some countries have women only wagons, with the excuse that some idiots were annoying women. OK so for a few idiot morons all men have to pay. And yes it affects, sometimes the only empty wagon is the exclusive. Apartheid.
This has gotta be written with ai.
Seriously?
This guy would be one of the people pushing women and children out of his way to get to the lifeboats on the Titanic.
Exactly how is this related?
Well see it’s rather simple: like those people on the Titanic you are also a selfish piece of shit
I’m not surprised that you don’t understand what I mean after saying that there’s a ‘man apartheid’.
You’re a fucking moron.
Yeah totally my imagination when feminists graffiti houses and statues with messages like “kill your father”. I am a crazy person who is watching visions. FEMINAZIS.
0 arguments. Your posture is there are some men that are violent so all of them should be banned. Not the person.
Aaa! brainn… huurt! Must … reach… safety valve…
whew i thought i was a goner y’all
“A men apartheid” are you joking?
You’re either a troll or insufferably misogynist. Actually the most likely situation is you’re both. I’m not letting you waste my time further.
Uhm, having someone care for you is not a “pathological mother figure”.
People need this. Men need this. Asking for care is the most normal thing a person can do.
And then if something is actually wrong, there is a therapist.
Why don’t they go ask for care from other men and stop exploiting women for it?
Why do you consider such relationships inherently exploitative? Healthy relationships include women caring about men, and vice versa, in various ways.
Besides, cultural norms and stereotypes commonly prevent men from seeking emotional support and being vulnerable around other men. While it can be said that some men have built this system to begin with, those are not necessarily the same men who struggle from it, and this conflict is hard to resolve. Also, romantic relationships commonly offer the highest level of openness about someone’s feelings, and most couples are hetero, hence, women interacting with men.
I think the point being made is that often women are called upon to do emotional labour by men who are often only acquaintances who look at them as resources that should be on the cultural hook to dispense emotional intimacy. A lot of women are fed up with the gendered nature of that expectation because you have a lot of men taking of that resource but not seeing it as being something they should actively be doing too and that their lack of reciprocation and participation in that space is a problem.
The fact that cultural norms prevent men from seeking solace from other men is a problem not just because it’s root lies in a lot of homophobia but because it creates both a category of gendered work for women and isolates men from their peers. Women are often pressured into that role which means if they don’t want to perform that function for any reason they can meet resistance as that emotional intimacy can be treated or assumed as being mandatory.
Nor is it a good idea to lay all your problems at the feet of an intimate partner regardless of gender. They have a lot of investment in you generally and it is easier to talk with them but they are generally ill equipped to shoulder all of your problems because they lack emotional distance to set you right if you are going astray. They often have other investments in you as well which means they cannot always tell it to you straight because if you disagree or react poorly they might lose you or jeopardize life goals and plans.
Being approachable and available to provide support should be a genderless issue with neither automatic expectation of providing or expected coldness laid at the feet of anyone.
Sure, here I strongly agree, and I have no idea who could downvote such a statement.
It’s just that this conversation took quite a weird tangent (as in “men exploit women, why don’t you fuck off”), and I felt I should set it straight with my last comment.
Supporting your partner should absolutely be a genderless thing, and it’s not right to just leave it out to women. Women need and deserve just as much gentle care and support as men; failing to recognize that will not lead to any good.
I was mostly speaking out against the original response on the screenshot, but the original post from that same screenshot isn’t right or fair to anyone, either. Women should not be forced into the psychological support role.
Even people who have put the work into therapy need a loving attachment figure. It’s healthy to be open and vulnerable when you need it.
testosterone is the world’s most dangerous chemical.
That’s not on testosterone. At most it plays a part in it, but this behavior is the result of a patriarchal society. (Solely) blaming testosterone defends shitheels like this one, and diminishes people with testosterone-dominated bodies that are different
I am struggling to deal with j suicidal thoughts about how awful i must be because I am a man. Like I sometimes think there needs to be a brutal cleansing.
There are plenty of examples of wonderful men, go find one and make friends with him. Unless you mistreated women constantly, why would you think, by default, that your are awful?
It’s just easier. Like, the left can recruit a lot of these young men if they tried and came up up with strategies beside preaching again and again and telling them their problems aren’t real? But they are written off before the can even speak and the dialog regarding tjis issues is so limited thats hard to talk about And if you advocate for them suddenly you are an incel, so what’s the point of even trying? For fucks sake one of the most up voted comments on here is someone with the name misandry so how can it be argued that you have no real place in among the left? So I just keep my head down and agre with what is said about us because it’s easier then to keep banging my head against the wall.
And my interests often limit my ability to find good people to be friends with. Though I will admit igot some good friends among them who don’t suck.
I don’t understand how you make this a political thing. Do you by chance live in the US? There is a lot of polarisation there.
As a woman myself, I think some people understand feminism differently than others. I don’t agree with women that just spit hate on men simply because they are men. Feminism is about empowering women to be whatever they like and be equal to men in society, relationships, family, work. I had my fair share of discrimination in my life based on my gender, and I constantly fight against it, but that does not make me just hate men by default. I know a lot of men that are on the same page with me about how we should be as a society. And a society where we are all getting along is so much better than a polarised one.
I am lucky to have found a husband that is secure with his masculinity(whatever that means to him), that he does not feel threatened about me having, for example, hobbies like woodworking, or having some muscles on my body. That does not mean I don’t find him masculine, because I do.
We are all shades of masculinity and femininity, and blocking one of these sides from us is just stupid. We are what we are and we can get along just fine with each other with a bit of effort. We don’t have to hate on the ones that are not like us.
And my interests often limit my ability to find good people to be friends with. Though I will admit igot some good friends among them who don’t suck.
To this I say, try new hobbies and activities. Volunteer somewhere, that will make you find nice people. You need to find friends that are awesome for you, not just that don’t suck. Some great friendships can be very healing for the soul.
You don’t owe anyone anything. You did not choose to be born, you were thrust into existence and it is unfair to you to feel like you ought to “get out of everyone’s way” via suicide. The world put you here, not you. Even if you earnestly think you are awful because you are a man.
Further you almost certainly aren’t awful, because you feel empathy for the rest of the world because you want to avoid being a burden to them. Awful people don’t give a shit if they hurt other people or the world.
A side note, if you really think because you are a man specifically that you are awful: You might unironically just want to transition into a woman.
Thank you. But I never really felt like a woman either to be honest. And frankly I don’t think it will help, it will just make me a target and frankly there are a lot of liberal I think are only performative in the stance on trans rights.
Why?
It is literally the devil.
I hate it. Thanks for making the first reaction anger cunt chemical.
We use to jokingly say if my mom had had testosterone the world would have been in trouble lmao
