What else would happen in Heck?
You always get ketchup water when applying ketchup, regardless if someone used it before you or if you’ve shaken the bottle.
I get mustard water, every damned time.
When washing your hands, water always is running into your sleeve.
And if you don’t wash your hands after using the toilet, your hands will be covered in Doritos dust for a day no matter what.
That’s when you need to use The Cleaner.
Satan? Is that you?
A little bit of soap always is missed, and now your hands feel sticky after drying them.
After you sneeze, the need to burp or fart raises greatly. You also don’t have control over which one will happen.
As someone who’s done all three at once involuntarily, the body responds by hiccoughing.
(Or what comes out!)
Every meal you eat results in popcorn lodged in between your teeth regardless of what you eat
And you can never find a toothpick for an eternity of searching
any time you’re just about to fall asleep you have a 51% chance of hearing a mosquito fly past your ear
No! This is straight up Hell material, not Heck!
And your dreams all start with you trying to fall asleep and there’s a 51% chance of hearing a mosquito fly past your ear. If it happens, you wake up immediately
The lid of the pickle jar in the back of the fridge will always be loose.
You can get used to anything. All of these suggestions that start with “everytime” will be changed to “sometimes.” Because it’s the hope that kills ya.
The blanket is always in the wrong direction.
Your drinking water always tastes a bit off.
Your bank makes mistakes all the time.
Every time you begin to like an item it’s mostly sold out.
Your social contacts forget what they said so they start anew often.
The weather forecasts are always way off.
When your glasses get fogged, they get fogged unevenly.
Right as you get comfortable in bed, you can’t remember whether you left something out of the fridge or started the dishwasher.
My wife makes me turn around and come home to be sure she unplugged the iron and/or turned off the stove.
You can never remember if you set your alarm
Thanks, mine was off.
And that’s how I’m constantly asking, “Hey Google, what time is my alarm set for?”
Your beer always has that weird metallic penny taste.
Blood? You have blood in your beer? Are you a Klingon?
Qapla!
Blood in your beer?!
Lol, usually means a dirty line
every time there is a pause to what you listen to or think about, a random laugh track in your head follows after a short but unpredictable delay.
one of your nostrils is always clogged and runny. it can switch sides after some seconds of relief.
Everytime you reach for the last cookie you find the bag empty.
- Your pillow is always warm. But never enough to be comfortable.
- When you sweat, your skin feels too cool too quick but you keep sweating.
- You master power naps with falling asleep fast and waking up 20 minutes after. You’re always left destructively groggy.
- Your sock’s seam is just thick enough to brush against your toe.
- Your elbow feels like you need to crack it for relief. It. Just. Won’t. Crack.
- You’re an adult and act like it.
- You have a mildly odd feeling in your stomach at all times—sometimes it flares up and you’re somewhat concerned you’re going to be nauseated.
- You hear the waiters cackle, shortly after you told the one serving you “you, too.” When you push your silly paranoia away, you see the group pointing your way and laughing again.
- No matter what you do, you simply cannot find the right way to sit or lie.
Every toilet clogs and overflows the water
Infinite data entry
…with forms that block copy/paste.
