Here me out on this:
- Join the war on the US side
- Be really bad at your job, causing tons of friendly fire accidents
- Defect to Canada before they catch you
- Enjoy some well earned pancakes with authentic maple syrup
If you go to Canada right away, there’s no way you’re getting the maple syrup rations as a foreigner.
Only doing this if I get a moose steak with those pancakes.
Moose aren’t like a sacred animal in Canada right?
Moose are revered and they are to be respected!! They can stomp your face effortlessly.
I believe Aboriginal cultures have many deep ties with the moose. I think some people hunt and eat them, but it’s not really a thing on a menu where I am (urban west coast), and is moreso a maritime/Newfoundland menu thing.
Regardless, we build many statues to them: (I have only seen one of these in person [top right, Deer Lake Newfoundland].)
Image transcription: Five moose statues from around Canada. Moose are 2m or
86.5-7 feet tall (at the shoulder), so these are some bigass sculptures. One, which was a memorial for a man who died of cancer, is now covered in bras for breast cancer awareness/fundraising.Edit: converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head.
converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head
Just multiply by three and then say fuck it. For bigger numbers just add a random amount.
We multiply by pi all the run time, feet to meters is basically the same thing.
Every so often I see a video of someone trying to mess with a moose, and I can only assume it’s because they are suicidal. Unless you have a gun and decent distance, a moose will fuck your shit up.
Re: statues, we have this beautiful bastard in Cow Bay, NS!
Sometimes a gun and distance isn’t enough, those suckers can move.
You’ll have to fight the Mounties for them:
You could definitely do more damage in the US military than fighting against them, and if you’re smart, they’d never be able to prove malicious intent.
Drive a forklift into a fighter jet, for example. Millions in damage, and they’ll just think you’re a moron.
They wouldn’t be wrong.
I follow the proud American tradition my grandfather had of fighting fascism.
If the government of the states decides to be fascist, well…
Fuck you. Don’t bring my Nazi killing grandfathers into this. I’m trying to sleep well at night in my shame over here bro!
Did I really need a /s for this? My family literally has a history of killing Nazis at scale. My grandfather was a bomber pilot.
I’ve always wondered, which movie was this frame from?
Pretty sure its Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz, the middle movie of the cornetto trilogy!
Thanks! Gonna give it a watch
I envy you watching it for the first time.
I think it’s the best film of the 3.
Thank you for your future service.
We pay in healthcare and not giving a damn if you smoke up.
🍁🫡
Whoa there your choices are snow, jungle, desert, or Arctic ice if you join the US side. Come on how many wars do you get to choose which server environment to play on? And if we do really good we can get the DLC level European Island Country! They say that one will feature the Navy more prominently.
I already did desert. I think I wanna try jungle this time?
I was thinking snow is a nice change of pace. As a bonus there’s a lot of ice rinks!
And you’ll either get maple syrup, vodka, or smoked salmon. So much winning.
Mmm poutine, served in the helmet of my frenemies.
Weee! Yeah all this climate change going on, I haven’t seen more than half an inch of snow yet. 10 years ago it would be knee to thigh deep by now. I wanna see pretty snow again before I die.
Too late that was 1955-1975.
There’s plenty of jungles left!
🎶 …and I’m ashamed to be an American, where dying in gutters called “free…” 🎶
you know how people were asking how people in Russia weren’t violently fighting against Putin when he started the ukrane-russia war?
OP’s full name:
Lockmart Heedin
We burned your White House down once, we’ll do it again!
Make sure all of them are home first pretty please
What the fuck? Don’t bring that bullshit in here calling for people to be burned alive. Nah, you’re done. Peace.
Good mod. Clearly has touched grass.
Reported for doxxing
Serious hat for a moment, but the idea that Canadians burnt the White House is a misconception. It was British soldiers from units raised outside of Canada, which had been sent over for the war which did that.
British here:
Another British accomplice here:
But, we’ll do it again.
Yeah, the white house can burn down twice in a four year period.
Thank you for the serious-hat correction!
More than half of the US will literally be throwing flowers at your feet as you march toward the capital to burn it. Its about the only thing both parties agree on. Well, that and taking AIPAC bribes to fund a genocide,both parties are down with that too. And guns now I guess. And closing the border.
Y’all’s about to see a Canadian’s real war face… On their homeland.
Oh definitely. Give me a side to fight on. I haven’t forgotten you Canada an all the wars we fought side by side together.
spoiler
St Patrick Battalion
My name is John Riley
I’ll have your ear only a while
I left my dear home in Ireland
It was death, starvation or exile
And when I got to America
It was my duty to go
Enter the Army and slog across Texas
To join in the war against MexicoIt was there in the pueblos and hillsides
That I saw the mistake I had made
Part of a conquering army
With the morals of a bayonet blade
So in the midst of these poor, dying Catholics
Screaming children, the burning stench of it all
Myself and two hundred Irishmen
Decided to rise to the callFrom Dublin City to San Diego
We witnessed freedom denied
So we formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican side,
We formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican sideWe marched 'neath the green flag of Saint Patrick
Emblazoned with “Erin Go Bragh”
Bright with the harp and the shamrock
And “Libertad para Mexicana”
Just fifty years after Wolftone
Five thousand miles away
The Yanks called us a Legion of Strangers
And they can talk as they mayBut from Dublin City to San Diego
We witnessed freedom denied
So we formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican side,
We formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican sideWe fought them in Matamoros
While their volunteers were raping the nuns
In Monterey and Cerro Gordo
We fought on as Ireland’s sons
We were the red-headed fighters for freedom
Amidst these brown-skinned women and men
Side by side we fought against tyranny
And I daresay we’d do it againFrom Dublin City to San Diego
We witnessed freedom denied
So we formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican side,
We formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican sideWe fought them in five major battles
Churobusco was the last
Overwhelmed by the cannons from Boston
We fell after each mortar blast
Most of us died on that hillside
In the service of the Mexican state
So far from our occupied homeland
We were heroes and victims of fateFrom Dublin City to San Diego
We witnessed freedom denied
So we formed the Saint Patrick Battalion
And we fought on the Mexican sideLet’s not joke hear CA doesn’t stand a chance. They’ve no nukes. They lack economic power. And they don’t have a cultural identity beyond “hey we aren’t America”. The last thing Canada wants is to fight a global super power.
They’ve no nukes.
You’re gonna nuke an upwind state that you’d like to conquer? It’d be a drone fight like Ukraine.
They lack economic power.
they don’t have a cultural identity
Dude, that’s bogus. This is literally the same bullshit Putin says about Ukraine.
They aren’t talking about California
Oh. Good point. 🤦♂️
Well in that case everything but economic power still stands.
“Hey we aren’t X” has earned the presidency of the United States every 4 years for at least as long as I’ve been alive. Never doubt the power of “hey we aren’t X”.
In fact, that should be Metas new slogan.
Bluesky: Hey we aren’t X
The last thing the US wants is to be a pariah to the UK, Australia, NZ and South Africa. Them old commonwealth loyalties run deep. Not to mention France would take extreme exception to Quebec.
Even if we didnt intervene militarily we all love Canada, It would be economic suicide.
South Africa is already against America, they’re in bed with China and Russia, they’re the S of “BRICS”
And the B has a semi socialist leader trying to clean up Bolsonaro’s mess. Definitely not a monolith.
I here you but what if they challenge us to a hockey game? I don’t think we’re prepared for how ugly this can get.
Canada sucked major ass at the world juniors this year. USA has won back to back.
And it’s hockey season, you ever try to get between a Canadian and a good hockey game? They’ll win so fast they don’t have time to get sober!
more like global super senile and retarded amirite
Sure, maybe they’d win the invasion easily, but can they win an occupation of a hostile populace for an indeterminate duration? The 21st Century repeatedly suggests the answer to that is “no, eh”.
…last i heard, canadian snipers outperform the finns…
That is literally the most terrifying thing you could’ve said.
…canadians may be low-key, but they don’t f*ck around…
occupation of people who are virtually indistinguishable at a glance. Just ask the Russians how that worked out in Eastern Ukraine, the only way they could ever secure the place was by killing pretty much everyone.
Germany, Austria and Switzerland speak German, and are still different countries. US, UK, Canada, NZ and Australia speak English, and are different countries France and Belgium speak French, are different countries. The entire Arabic speaking world is spread across like 20 countries. Russia and Ukraine both speak Russian*, and one tried to merge with the other, violently, and are now bitter enemies probably forever…
Is “Fuck off and leave people alone” an option in peoples brains?
Congress needs to ask the pentagon why they maintain a wide threatening lead I’m Zamboni technology!
Just think of all those US soldiers slipping and sliding across the zamboni fields while the graceful Canadians glide on their skis. No attacker stands a chance.
Sir I assure you this community tolerates only the most serious conversations.
I too am proud about things I did nothing to be.
Actually, being American takes a lot of work. You have to pretend to be cisgender or you’ll die. Being a dead american, sure, you’re right. But being an alive american is hard.
Why do you need to bring gender politics into it. Public schools here will kill you faster than most anything else (other than giving birth to your rapist’s child)
Why do you need to bring gender politics into it.
Jeez, can’t you take a joke?
deleted by creator
I can’t think of anything funny to say right now :(
The white house will be burned to black.
DEI strikes again
Diversity in that it will be Canadians proper rather than Brits along with any and all who wish to participate.
Equality in that the US should receive what it has given and what it threatens.
Inclusion in that everyone is welcome to the bonfire. To paraphrase some fuckwad, ‘be there, it’ll be wild’.
