You shouldn’t steal memes from the meme museum
When Wallace croaks ya got your own office
Hannah’s happiness and optimism would probably be good for me but could also backfire hard
I think Hannah would be okay unless she turns into a bridezilla. Not because I’d be involved but because I’m guessing bridezillas are probably deeply unhappy people that take their misery out on others.
Hannah, because in a few months she won’t be just engaged so she will turn less annoying.
Also Wallace. I generally don’t mind old people. Maybe I’m getting old myself but stay off my lawn!
Plot twist, her fiancee refuses to commit to a date and she will be engaged for years, constantly planning a wedding that will never come. Growing more and more frustrated and vocal about her upcoming wedding.
Same picks for the same reasons.
… although I’m less proud to admit that I read it as “Known Father” the first time, didn’t catch it until I came to the comments, and he still didn’t make the top 2.
I just kinda figured that “Known Father” meant he was always talking about his kids and experiences with parenthood, and that was enough to eliminate him.
Dayzie
This is the correct answer… As long as there’s no patchouli in it… That shit smells awful
Anyone but Brice, tbh.
- Idk what’s supposed to be bad about getting engaged
- Everyone farts
- I like Radiohead
- Natural deodorant works fine for a lot of people
- Most people I’ve known who do crossfit have been very aware that talking about it is a meme
- Dudes who are super old and still working tend to be fun
- HR folks have a lot ot useful info for getting the most out of your employment
Edit: I will decline Wallace, too, actually. As fun as he might be, at 100 there’s a pretty good chance he’ll die on the job and I don’t wanna deal with that.
It says “is like 100”, not “is 100”, so that just means something like
> your own age * 1.33
The subtle just under the surface love-hate passive-aggressive interplay between Dayzie and Brice (if you’re lucky, culminating in some kind of passionate-beyond-their-control office affair between them) would make that pair the most interesting to have as colleagues in the long run, IMHO.
Wallace.
Torn between Wallace and Lewis. They’re both farters, but one wears headphones. Maybe Wallace will take me to steak at lunch.
Wallace
Wallace. Wallace probably doesn’t give a fuck anymore, and once you gain his trust, is going to say some hilarious shit as a result.
Thats it, he knows the company doesn’t give a fuck and hes just waiting it out. Also I bet he has some stories or wisdom to bestow.
Yeah Wallace is solid, he’s just running out the clock at this point. Bring in some snacks and treat him like a human and he’ll do anything he can to help you.
Tough crowd. I would go with the farter. Everyone farts.
But not everyone is known for it…
Shiloh all the way.
If he only listens to radiohead, why’s he got a gary numan shirt on?
Good point, I didn’t catch that
Poser
I find it very funny that there’s like a 50/50 split between people who see Shiloh as male vs female
On a somewhat related note, does anyone else find Radiohead a bit insufferable? Their entire discography seems to be aimed at angsty 14 year olds with first world problems:
Creep - Oh no, my love interest finds me weird.
No surprises - Boo hoo I live a comfortable middle class existence, woe is me.
Wolf At The Door and Knives Out get a pass for cool music videos and genuinely disturbing lyrics.
Susan. Make friends with HR. Get your folder marked, “promote ahead of peers”.
Just remember that Rule of Acquisition #48 always applies when dealing with HR:
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife!
Nah ACAB. (Hr are cops in my head cannon)
My wife is the admin Spock. In her last job, she knew the bosses were unreasonable and was willing to cover for the employees more or less (some were jerks or incompetent. They didn’t last long.)
Though generally, if upper management does something outright scandalous or outright illegal, HR usually helps cover it up. I don’t think she’d be willing to cover sexual assault, but she did had to cover up grift by clients.
Ah the scenarios we are forced to imagine with back to office mandates. I’ll go with Dayzie because we have similar ideologies about deodorant and I can’t wait for someone to complain to Susan so I can be oppositionally defiant.
I want to pick both Hannah and Shiloh and see how the situation develops from there.
Susan.
I would get Shiloh but I bet he talks in math and buzzes like a fridge
