Is the poop something that has to be done in-person?
Does it have to be assigned to an individual, or can you decide that everybody who uses the word ‘rizz’ regularly will now poop?
Or is it like Death Note where you have to have a specific person in mind? I would totally be down to be the Kira of pants-shitting. I’d be the God of a stinky new world.
Problem is that in the US I’m fairly certain our leaders are already forced to wear diapers. The President who was elected 32 years ago is younger than the President who was elected 2 months ago.
To be fair, the president elected two months ago is the oldest asshole to have ever won the office.
I’ve got a shy bladder, a wife, and plenty of weed gummys.
I’ll take the purple pill. Took forever to potty train my youngest and that seems like a useful skill.
I’d probably use it whenever I get road rage. Oh, you wanna cut me off? Fuck you. Shit your pants.
Pink all the way. Rude to some service worker? Poopy pants. Didn’t return the cart? Poop. Drive like an asshole? Poop. Politician spewing hateful garbage on national television? Oh you bet you’re getting the poopy pants.
I would be The Punisher, only with poop instead of guns.
The Poo-nisher. 💀💩
Poop Note
PowerRanger colors explained.
The green ranger was pretty dope, so this fits.
Pink would be politically beneficial. You could legitimately make major progress in the world with that power. Someone who disagrees with you tries to speak publicly? Time to poop. Hell. Just harass them with explosive diarrhea until they notice the trend that whenever they do something political, the diarrhea returns.
They’ll just take a page from the Trump playbook and start wearing diapers.
All diapers have their limit
Jeez. All you mean people.
I’d take the pink pill and help people with intestinal blockages and stuff.
That’s the best answer.
spoiler
I feel you’ve got a good personal reason behind it that most don’t. I haven’t seen anything from you about your health recently, so I hope you’re doing great, and that the move to the UK goes swell!
spoiler
Very slow improvements on the health front and I hope so too, thank you!
Sidebar:
I can only assume Ms. Squid has finished your sweater…
What’s the status on my Penguin sweater?
No rush, of course 😅
She has not! I was hoping it would be my Christmas present.
… I mean it still might be your Christmas present, just this year
She’s not that slow. She just switches between projects.
Just came here to say that this thread is lovely and I totally understand having a bunch of projects going at the same time. I hope ms Squid finds the time, that sweater sounds cute.
There’s not a few people you’d want to shit themselves to death? Not even Putin?
Do I want to commit murder? No.
How about protect your friends and family from a predator?
I’m not going to play this game. It’s the same game people play with me when I say I don’t want to own a gun.
I have never been in such a situation, so I have no idea what I would do. As it is, my large, mean dog would make it unlikely.
Just accept that not everyone shares your violent fantasies.
okay but what if it was a gun that made people have to poop
So it’s like having a Death Note but the only method of death is shitting themselves? I’m down.
Well you can get them to smear out symbols with their faeces before they die
Why not both? Help the constipated AND make the world’s worst people shit themselves on live TV…
I’m just saying, no one’s talking about how you could help people with this too.
I don’t know anyone that needs help popping. I know many people who I’d like to make shit themselves.
But what are the rules? Is it like death note where you need their name and be thinking of their face? Or is it “Hey, that 3rd grade math teacher who gave me a hard time. What’s her name? Forgot how she looks, too… she shits herself now!” Type of thing.
Just have to test it out and figure out how it works I suppose.
I’m not arguing that these problems don’t exist. Just that I don’t personally know anyone that is dealing with it so it didn’t come to mind to use the shitting themselves power for good.
Do what I tell you or I’ll give you nonstop diarrhea for the rest of your life.
Do you have to have the person in line-of-sight? Is awareness of them enough? Do they need to hear you? Do they need to see you? The “on command” bit is what makes me think they need to be able to be given a command, so at the very least have a speaker nearby. It’s a great bluff though. Who, after all, would actually question it once you’ve made them go several times.
The diarrhoea bit is an idea though. Can you make them poop in different ways? If you can make them have loose, watery stools could you also go the other direction and make them shit bricks? Take 100 men, make them shit bricks, and now you have an industry of adamantium-strength building material. Scale it up as business grows. The world would design around the piddling side effect that the hardest material in the universe is fecal matter. Masks with jasmine would become standard. People would wear skintight bodysuits that are easily removed and recycled in the intimate parts of their homes/offices that are made from non fecal material. Cleanliness would take over the world by necessity. You could be the start of a beautiful, shit-built world…
Force people to poop on command - I’d have xin jinping on speed dial
I would give this pill to a million Chinese and Russian dissidents.
Xi and Putin would just be constantly shitting. There would be no moment in any day for as long as they lived that they weren’t shitting.
Each billionaire poops every 30 minutes. No rest for the wicked. Can be cured by donating the fortune to some common causes.
Solid
I already have all these powers… Maaaaan…
Are you the person who keeps mateiralising in my home and screaming “DEFECATE” then disappearing in a puff of fart-cloud?
I’ve had a leg injury lately and I can’t make it to my upstairs bathroom that fast. You have destroyed my stair carpet. The cleaner said it was “unsalvageable” and “honestly shameful”. You need to stop.
You could probably use that power to kill someone. Pooped to death.
That’s called dysentery.
I would take the pink one, then find my least favourite people and make the infinite poop copypasta into reality…
I’d just tweet “poop” at Muskrat and Donald 24/7
You can do that rn if you wanted to.
I don’t want to create a Twitter account 😔
Fair enough.
I will just make every single human on earth poop every day at exactly 14:56 UCT
I wouldn’t say anything, and just enjoy seeing how people tries to figure out what’s going on. And maybe how a new religion is born of such a miracle.
That would destroy most places sewage systems lol
I have IBS and I do wish it on my worst enemies. Gimme that pink pill.
Pink one definetely, the green, yellow and especially blue are useless.
