Will United Healthcare cover dildos if they are for medicinal purposes?
I am told Vibrators were invented to combat female hysteria.
These early vibrators became popular among the medical profession and were used for treating a wide variety of ailments in women and men including hysteria, arthritis, constipation, amenorrhea, inflammations, and tumors;
ROFL I need 6 because of… uh… constipation!
The solution is clearly to set up sex toy libraries.
…They would never interfere with libraries, right?
Is there a limit on total footage? Does a double ended dildo count as two? Is a Christmas tree of dicks ok since it’s more than 6, but is Christian?
Does a straw have two holes or one hole?
Yes
Straws have one hole.
Is your mouth and anus one hole?
Yes, and don’t forget to give your granny a kiss next time you visit.
I dunno, are the Christmas tree dicks circumcised?
Need to go candelabra style with them all attached at the base.
They just need to add a way to mount it to a gun and then its not a dildo, its a gun accessory.
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Sounds like an interesting bump stock
Hump stock
Like a swiss-army knife. (the AI refuses to render this.)
That’s why we will always need human artists
You rang?
Edit: … I think I should mark this nsfw. Um. No idea how though.
The instance doesn’t allow NSFW content, so I don’t think you get the option.
Luckily, this falls under a satire or parody exemption (probably), so I’m allowing it.
I hadn’t even considered that it might not be allowed at all, my mistake. Thank you for indulging me :)
This is beautiful
thank you, i try.
We need a global network of connected dildos. I propose to call it „Interdildo“
Imagine making some sort of open peer to peer sex toy network. Where you are randomly paired up with another person and you control their dildo and they control yours. But no other communication is possible. That would be a fun experiment.
I assume a menorah of dildos is out.
Christmas tree dildos you say?
If you get caught, just say its The Salad Mixxxer.
Policemen josh and wade showing up to a party:
Josh: “Alright Wade, let’s make sure there are not more than 6 erections in there.”
This is disrespectful to George Washington the founder of America who was mostly Dicks.
I heard that motherfucker had like… 30 god-damned dicks.
I think you’re referring to the wooden dildos he stuffed his mouth with. Back then, there was no such thing as silicone.
I heard he was six foot eight and weighed a fucking ton.
Link for the uninitiated - https://youtu.be/qv6OOuPI5c0
Don’t want to start WWIII but even I and my fifty buttplugs were surprised to hear that WALMART was selling sex toys.
They’re basically just disposable bullet style vibrators.
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Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.
The worst part about this is that I’d rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.
Oh don’t worry. They’ll get around to doing that as well.
Texas is ran by dildos so this is really just thinly veiled self preservation at this point
The lawmakers are afraid of the competition
At first I was like “barbaric”, but then I thought to myself that 6 dildos per person sounds abundant. I’ve decided to believe that they were about to fight an owner of 7 dildos and implemented that ban to reduce their power. Like “there are 7 of us and you have only 6 dildos what are you going to do” because the 7th dildo would be illegal.
And yes I know that the grounds of this ban are absurd and barbaric, I do wish hunger and pestilence upon those who voted it in, it’s just that any discussion regarding it had to be hilarious. What are they trying to prevent by restricting the access to 7th dildo, gang wars?
It’s virtue signaling. It implies that anyone who would use a dildo (gays, immoral women who actually enjoy sex) are Godless degenerates that need to be controlled by the state before they go on a rampage through town with all of their dildos!
Or rather, anyone who would use 7 dildos - lets not bundle up with those degenerates the God loving Christians that fight to protect the purity and sanctity of Gods children that do happen to rail themselves with 6 dildos every night. I’d love to know what kind of science they used to calculate that 6 is fine in the eyes of their maker. If you strip away the context of those ghouls pushing slowly and successfuly for eradication of your personal freedom, and just look at the depicted scene as is, it’s pretty wacky.
Well obviously you have to use a different dildo for every day of the week, and no dildoing on Sunday.
Although the Bible states Sunday was when God rested, which is when he had enough spare time to break out the sex toys. “Grab the strap-on Mrs God! I’m not doing any more grunt work this week, just grunting.” This message may be illegal in the state of Texas. And undress.
*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*
The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.
The great Republican war on orgasms have begun.
Begun? Texas has always had a war on dildos.
Yet, they keep voting for one as governor. 🤔
They’ve been stopping orgasms from happening for a long time.
Great, now where am I gonna find BestValue dildos
What if it was a dildo-gun?
What part of 'shall not be infringed ’ do you not understand!? 🤣
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