Yee fuckin’ haw.
Minnesota is also missing the “wears shorts in winter” tag.
Happens all the time in negative degree weather.
it hits -30f, you put on the shorts, the light hoodie, and you go out and get milkshakes.
Hasn’t stopped us before!
Milkshakes in negative temps hit different.
hit better.
Fuckin delicious.
That tag could probably be on the entirety of the North. From Michigan
Yeah that’s fair, just pepper that tag across the top.
The Pacific Northwest would be horrible to invade. Even if the people don’t offer much resistance trying to get through the Rocky Mountains would be disastrous. But they actually have militias out there too.
The main reason you shouldn’t invade is that almost all of these people own guns.
yea your gun will stop a fucking direct energy weapon liquefying the ground in a mile radius
Jewish Space Lasers are so 2021, get a new conspiracy theory bro
lol stay ignorant buddy. it’s not a theory. you’re trapped beneath a rock if you don’t think DEWs are real and are being used today.
https://www.npr.org/2010/09/10/129630188/zapping-inmates-to-control-them-harmless-or-torture
This article is from 2010, grandpa. I used a DEW on your mom last night.
🤡🤓
and how do you think things have developed in all these years since? certified bozo
guns
It’s almost 2025. You might as well count on your halberds and moats to keep you safe.
This reminds me, I should buy a moat…
Here’s a cleaned up copy
One small fix
Bueno chicos, nos quedamos con Oregon. Ya escucharon!
Apparently Hawaii is safe?
Don’t even dare think about touching our boats!!
Ah yes, those dangerous gangs of San Louis Obispo in California are really getting out of hand!
I think they’re trying to reference LA and don’t realize how far south it actually is.
all the retired people in Florida too
Texas should just say “Guns”.
North Dakota should probably be “no civilization, no resources, and no warmth.”
You could just write “Fargo” over ND to get the point across.
ND has oil and nukes.
Does it really have oil?
And I know it’s got a fuckton of missile silos but I imagine in an invasion they aren’t terribly useful. I guess maybe an after you take complete control then it is
Hey now, we have some resources. Like… uh… hotdish?
Why are you walking away, weren’t you invading?
Y’all grow a mean sugarbeet
And it’s tatertot hot dish!
Can imagine the delaying tactics that a classic Minnesotan long goodbye would cause to an invading military? You could cause delays of up to several hours just saying goodbye!
I’ll start a few more wars, then.
Red hotdish or white hotdish?
Does corn belong in hotdish?
Do the tots go on the bottom or on the top?
Anything but plain cream of mushroom soup is a vile heathen concoction.
Corn or string-beans are fine. Anything else is sacrilege.
You put those tater tots ANYWHERE but in top, I will personally drive to your house and stare at you with passive/aggressive looks while I call your Mother!
You would love my Mom’s hotdish and revile my aunt’s hotdish.
I don’t know what this means.
Yes.
Yes. Alternatively, why not both, at the same time.
Don’t you guys have a fire cavern? That has to produce some warmth.
No, that would require a cave, which implies the existence of interesting geological features.
Which are reserved for South Dakota and Montana.
North Dakota explicitly gets nothing. I’m pretty sure it’s in the constitution.
You forgot about the Illinois Nazis.
I hate Illinois nazis.
I’m far more afraid of the Nazis in Baton Rouge running this state than I am of Acadians hunting out in the swamps. Just don’t go in the swamp! The Nazis are actively making life worse whether you seek them or not.
As an Acadian I totally agree.
I want to see what exactly what our Long Range Mormons (LRMs) are capable of
They’ve got a long pedigree…
As a resident of “this part wouldn’t be that tough”, i disagree. The entire Cascade range extending from the top of the central valley to the top of Washington, extending out to the ocean, is very very rough, steep, heavily forested terrain that would be absolute hell to get any kind of equipment through if the locals were to blow up a grand total of three bridges on three separate highways.
Also, fat chance invading the USA from the Pacific. That’s like trying to get through a chastity belt by putting your dick in the padlock.
Why exactly?
The Pacific is pretty big, it’s an ocean after all.
The Americans are the premier naval power.
Hawaii, Midway and other Pacific islands having monitoring stations.
The Pacific isn’t as easy to cross as you think due to it’s size and it has some nasty ass storms.
Pair that with the coastal regions usually having cliffs rather than somewhere a landing craft could pull up and it isn’t easy for a start.
Now mix in people who know the terrain and don’t want you there.
The USA is particularly strong from that side. Most of its navy patrols those waters, many islands on the Pacific are USA territories all the way to Japan which itself acts as an arm of the USA Military since the forced demilitarization of Japan in WWII. Japan and other islands basically form a wall around the eastern mainland that would be difficult to cross undetected, and when they did reach the shore they might get flanked from Hawaii, Panama, or Alaska.
There is a reason Stalin chose to ally with and provide nuclear weapons to Cuba, and approach the USA via the gulf of mexico and Atlantic.
That’s good to know, thank you
The Americans are the premier naval power.
Hawaii, Midway and other Pacific islands having monitoring stations.
The Pacific isn’t as easy to cross as you think due to it’s size and it has some nasty ass storms.
Pair that with the coastal regions usually having cliffs rather than somewhere a landing craft could pull up and it isn’t easy for a start.
Now mix in people who know the terrain and don’t want you there.
Also I always like to point out that Oregon has more guns per person than Texas, most people assume Oregon = Portland.
That stat is mainly because of Paul Harrell (RIP) and his brother.
Also, Sasquatch.
Also: the emerald triangle and that whole area of NorCal are the far-right wackos who regularly fly the state of Jackson flags, they’re heavily armed and waiting to shoot people up there
“Terrain is the first enemy your army will encounter” - Sun Tzu (not really, I just made that up)
Nope, logistics is the first enemy. You can have the men and high tech weapons you want. But if you can’t get them to where those things are needed in the quantity they are needed-- You lose.
The US military is still the best in the world at moving men and material in the least amount of time than anyone else. And as much as fuckcars hates the over grown US highway system, it would be a tremendous advantage to be used against any would be invader.
The first enemy your army will encounter is usually logistics.
Depending on how far back you want to go, you could make the argument for your army’s first enemy being…
-
Basic training
-
Recruitment
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Their mothers’ birth canals
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The dating scene in their home villages
-
Nah man, it’s the yo mama jokes you’re sending via Morse code nonstop
Terrain is definitely an enemy you will encounter.
And not only do we also wear shorts in the winter, we refuse to use umbrellas no matter how hard it’s pouring outside.
you do conquer it but the locals keep trying to feed you organic, wild harvested, artisanal Amanita soup
