• Marduk73@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    I wish women would wear more dresses either way. They look great. My wife used to, but we are 28 years together and she basically now wears the clothing equivalent of UGGs.

    • weker01@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      I would not be so certain tbh. I know a gay guy in the fashion industry and I bet he would judge women.

      Then again probably straight people in fashion would do the same…

      • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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        2 months ago

        The bar is on the floor for men, and unreasonably high for women.
        Women put some of those restrictions on each other, but largely as a byproduct of the society they were raised in.

        It’s a privilege in the same way that having a shoulder to cry on is a female privilege.

        If you’re going to try to argue that society doesn’t push people into certain roles or to think in certain ways, or that men aren’t also involved in creating the parts of society that determine roles for women, then I don’t think we can have a meaningful exchange.

        • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          It’s a privilege in the same way that having a shoulder to cry on is a female privilege.

          I don’t consider that female privilege. I think we just have different definitions for what privilege is or more likely where we draw the line. To me, privilege is something more concrete and impactful, like men being trusted more in leadership roles or women being more trusted around kids.

          • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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            2 months ago

            But they’re related. They’re different facets of the same thing: the roles and expectations that society forces people into.

            Setting aside what you do and don’t think is impactful, the point is that these are expectations that society puts on people, and where these expectations come from is complex. Have you ever heard of the Five Whys? It can be a helpful way to look at these problems; it can’t capture the complexity but it illustrates that the causes run deep.

            For example, there are some pretty easily accessible YouTube videos (podcasts?) on the history of the women’s fashion and cosmetics industries, and how they pivoted their marketing to great effect to sell products to women by pressing these kinds of expectations into society, and those marketing teams contain a lot of men. This doesn’t explain all of history, but it’s an example of what I’m talking about.

            And always remember; hurt people hurt people.

            • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              Yeah, I understand all of that, I just don’t think we should be using the term “privilege” for every little echo of history. Are men’s pockets a form of privilege? Women are privileged to have more variety of tops? At a certain point, the term loses all meaning.

              • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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                2 months ago

                If by “loses all meaning” you mean “loses significance” then there is some truth to that, but I leave it up to the general opinion of the people who are put at risk by that loss of significance to decide when it becomes a problem.

                Realistically I think that it was probably meant as a half joke, as in its funny in how unserious it is, but also a real criticism in how pervasive this kind of toxic behavior is.
                I think that the reply, that men aren’t involved in it, is taking an willfully ignorant stance.

                • Tedesche@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  I mean that using a charged term to describe a trivial issue or problem is a form of hysteria and drama-seeking. The issue being cited in the image is trivial and—as pointed out by the response—maintained pretty much entirely by women. There’s a point at which you have to stop blaming things on gender inequalities, because regardless of whether or not they can be traced back to cultural conditioning, the simplest solution is that you personal responsibility and stop conforming to them. The problem isn’t that other women will criticize you for wearing the same dress twice; they’re problem is that you care.

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I just asked one hundred men. They said no, they don’t care. They suggest not wearing anything is better. Also. Did you you gals take the keys? Most men are currently looking for them. We are sure we used them yesterday after work to park the van. C’mon gals! Where the heck are th…found them! The keys where behind everyone’s couches. Sorry! Yes we will take out the trash, but we gotta go check with Dave first. He had some stuff he was working on in all of Dave’s garages. Rick too, but mostly Dave. We’ll be back by 7…mmmkay?

  • EnderMB@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I would honestly love to own multiple suits, but ultimately as someone that works in tech the only times I ever get to wear a suit is a wedding or a funeral. All my friends are married, so that basically leaves a black/dark suit for weddings.

  • mynameisigglepiggle@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Every time my wife worries about not wearing the same thing, I get her to list any outfit the others were wearing last time.

    It’s all in your head.

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I’ve worn the same dress to pretty much every holiday and family event for at least the past 8 years. I don’t know if anyone thinks it’s weird or wrong. What I do know is that every person I’ve dated within that timeframe has told me that it’s their favorite of my outfits.

      And that’s the closest I get to caring what anyone else thinks about it.

      • gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        My wife had people asking if she was going to wear her awesome sequin dress to her Xmas party one year and were sad she was going to try something else, all of them older (40s-60s)

        She and I both have only ever heard of this whole “don’t wear something to 2 events”, my mom (late 50s) has also never actually seen it in person. Maybe we’re too poor?

  • EfreetSK@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    How is that a ‘privilege’? I don’t know like you but for me the ‘privilege’ is something above normal, above standard, above majority. A king has a privilege of not paying taxes, everyone must pay them but not him, he has this privilege. A diplomat has a privileges that are above law, like they cannot get fine for speeding. We could say a kid whos parents are billionaires has a (hypothetical) privilige in life where they can get everything they want and family budget isn’t affected. That is not normal and only few chosen ones have those privileges.

    So back to my question - not being judged by the way you look is not something above normal. That is the standard, that should be a norm. I don’t know how we want to call the situation in the post but that’s not a privilege. At all. Rant over.

    • OpenStars@discuss.online
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      2 months ago

      The first person in the graphic was saying that men have privileges above what women have. Which is partly true bc while we are the same, we are not equal - and women likewise have privileges that men do not.

      The second person shut them down by pointing out the hypocrisy behind the statement. Women actually do have that same identical privilege as men… but only so far as men are the ones judging.

      So women are not second-class citizens due to men putting them down, and rather it is women who are judging other women by different standards than they choose to judge men by.

      My own take: dare to be different:-).

      • EfreetSK@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Good, I agree. And I still argue that the word ‘privilege’ isn’t correct here. We want to call this ‘double standard’, ‘unfairness’, ‘disadvantage’, ‘advantage’, … that’s up to a debate. But I rest my case that this isn’t a ‘privilege’

        To quote source of all truth - Google first page:

        privilege

        /ˈprɪv(ɪ)lɪdʒ/

        a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.

        “education is a right, not a privilege”

        • OpenStars@discuss.online
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          2 months ago

          But this is presented as a “story”, an internet back-and-forth. The girl up top started off by accusation that it was a “privilege”, and she was wrong, but she used the term bc she thought she was right.

          From her childish logical POV, men had that “privilege” above “normal” - her normal. Men had that “special right”, that “advantage”, that “immunity”, granted only to the particular group of humans in her world who are men yet denied to women. So it wasn’t her word choice that was wrong - the word accurately described her childish way of looking at the world.

          She was, however, wrong. Sort of. Mostly. Bc while men grant that non-special right to everyone regardless of gender, women only grant it specially to men (and not even all women do, it’s a special kind of outdated Victorian cultural attitude that does so).

          So what I am saying is that the word “privilege” was correct here… not in spite of but because it is wrong -> it is used to show how wrong the underlying concept is.

  • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Tonight on channel 13 we have the hit game show: Toxic Cesspool or Surprisingly Reasonable? Today we’ll be looking at the comments on this Lemmy thread. Tune in for the exciting conclusion!

  • doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    Unfortunately, from what I’ve heard, there absolutely are weird old dudes who will notice and comment on it

    • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      And as a guy I was informed by a woman at an annual auction that I was wearing the same aloha shirt I wore at the previous year’s auction. Which is weird considering that I have almost 50 aloha shirts. So now I’m wondering if she was wrong, or it was an incredible coincidence, or I actually do have a “favorite auction shirt”.

      • odelik@lemmy.today
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        2 months ago

        Intentionally wear the same one next time and if she says something you can tell her it’s your lucky auction shirt.

  • gramie@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    Just in case anyone is wondering how true this is, about 10 years ago, an Australian TV anchor decided to keep wearing the same suit and see how long it took people to notice.

    After a year, no one had mentioned it.

    That said, I agree with the man’s statement that it would overwhelmingly be women who criticized other women for wearing the same clothes.

    • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      At the same time a local TV personality (Christiane Charrette) has been dressing the same way since at least the 90s and no one cares… She found something that fits her well and adopted it.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      an Australian TV anchor decided to keep wearing the same suit and see how long it took people to notice.

      There’s a running joke in sitcoms, particularly with B-list characters, where a kid breaks into their house and finds a closet full of the same identical outfit over and over again. I know the Simpsons did it with Principle Skinner. I’m pretty sure Save By The Bell did it with Principle Belding. There was some 80s pod-person movie that used the trope as well.

      There’s also a classic joke about groomsmen all dressing the same during a wedding, so if anything happens to the groom you just have the whole crew slide over to the right and keep on trucking.

      I vaguely remember some Econ joke about guys being a fungible commodity.

      None of these are intended to be complimentary.

      it would overwhelmingly be women who criticized other women for wearing the same clothes

      Definitely different standards. Although I’ve found this tends to take hold as women get older and start climbing the workforce ladder. You’ll find plenty of college girls (particularly during exam time) who give absolutely zero shits about their appearance. Also, when women are unemployed.

      • pjwestin@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        There’s a running joke in sitcoms, particularly with B-list characters, where a kid breaks into their house and finds a closet full of the same identical outfit over and over again.

        More true for cartoons than sitcoms. Rosanne actually fought with the producers on her show to have her characters reuse outfits. She hated how supposedly working class characters on TV somehow never wore the same outfit twice. She even had some pieces of clothing get handed down to the younger actors when the older ones outgrew them. It’s a shame she became a right-wing loon, because she was one of the few people to make a realistic sitcom about working class people (only other one I can think of is Malcolm in the Middle).

        • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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          2 months ago

          because she was one of the few people to make a realistic sitcom about working class people (only other one I can think of is Malcolm in the Middle).

          in the middle also did a fantastic job at this and i think better in some respects compared to malcom in the middle.

          i also grieved when roseanne’s lunacy cause the show to end the 2nd time; i had identified with the show in it’s earlier run because the characters were expecting their electricity to be cut at the same time we expected it growing up in my own home and it felt like my tv home since then. i’m glad the connor’s are a thing.

        • nomous@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          It’s really hard to overstate how different Rosanne was when it first aired. They had money problems, they’d yell at their kids sometimes, they weren’t perfect. They were a “normal” family on TV that people could relate to.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            It’s also really hard to explain that Roseanne used to be what appeared to be a sane and reasonable person with good ideas.

          • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Not only did they have money problems, but they absolutely affected the family. There wasn’t the “money isn’t really important” message at the end of the episodes so many shows go with. Money’s extremely important - especially when you don’t have it.

            Being working-class was hard, and it had an impact in every aspect of their lives.

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        I associate it with cartoons. Bart Simpson has been wearing the same orange shirt and blue shorts for 30 years now. I remember an episode of Doug where you see his closet and it’s like twelve identical sets of white shirt, green sweatervest, tan shorts.