The Proud Boys have an initiation ritual where new members are beaten by the group until they can recite the names of five different breakfast cereals.
I was raised in peak cereal advertising. I can spout off like 10 based on mascots alone.
Captain Crunch
Peanut Butter Crunch
Crunchberries
Oops All Berries
…crap
Can I “join” and not name any cereals just to beat the fuck out of a bunch of proud boys?
I thought you only had to join if you can’t beat them.
Coco Pops, Special K, Bran Flakes, Cornflakes, err…
Lucky Charms. Phew.
Also, what?
Congrats, you’re now a Proud Boy!
You have Cocoa Puffs and Corn Pops combined, I’m going to give you 2 points for that.
Very kind of you, but I can’t take credit, Coco Pops are a cereal in the UK.
Well, damn. You’re right. I must rescind the point distribution.
Coco Pops are just African American Rice Krispies
*Froot Loops
See I have to believe at least some of this shit was because the leader of that group was a federal informant. This is the kind of thing the FBI agents in Ms Congeniality would think is funny.
Obviously this frat-boy shit is dumb, but if you had to figure out if someone was a real American or a spy, this would be an excellent way to do it.
Like if someone said “I eat musli” or “I like grape nuts” you could go ahead and shoot the spy.
Poor steve1989
Grape nuts was one if the first American cereals
Yeah and everyone who ever ate it was like “oh god, no” and immediately came out with a better cereal.
Like corn flakes. Itty bitty tortilla chips make a better cereal than fucking grape nuts.
Corn Flakes were invented to intentionally be so soul-crushingly bland it would destroy your urge to masturbate.
Corn Flakes were invented independently by one of weirdest people ever.
“Weird” feels like such a mild way to describe John Harvey Kellogg.
You can go fuck yourself because they are great on their own or mixed in yogurt.
Lol I actually do like them with honey. Oh and honey bunches of oats is just corn flakes with granola, that’s good too.
Found the spy!
Quick, somebody shoot 'em!
What are they doing to Old black man?
He’s just trying to nap
- Cheerios
- Honey nut cheerios
- Frosted Cheerios
- Chocolate Cheerios
And…
Uh…
Hmm…
The uh…
The one with the umm…
Errr…