I’m at home with ruptured vaginal cyst. Dare you to try this.
Are there even women on Lemmy?
Wait, yall aren’t dogs using the humans PC while they are gone at work?
Well im a women and im on Lemmy, so yes
I guess the joke went over everyone’s head.
Shrug
Your sexist joke didn’t go over anyone’s head.
Yes. It’s very sexist. I hate the sexes
ok troll
I mean I was just making a joke about other people making the same joke and being serious. So if you think I’m a “troll” trying to intentionally harm you, it went over your head.
No you just sounded like an incel
Give me pop culture phrases that don’t suit the criteria for 200 alex
I dont follow -_-
fuck off back to 2010 reddit
Fuck off to wherever dumb comebacks originate
You are a broken person.
Thanks armchair psychiatrist. It was a joke. Maybe not taken as such, but a joke none the less.
It was a really shitty “joke” then.
Not all jokes land. Cost of doing business.
It’s not that it didn’t land. It just sucked.
You did a bad job. It’s not everyone else’s fault.
Oh I have sold the joke in person and it landed. It’s ok. I know it can be funny in the right place
The line between dystopic memes and Black Mirror is getting hella blurry :|
you can tell the difference. if it has good writing, it’s more likely to be a meme.
It’s just cool to imagine a social media tool that’s monetized SWATing.
Is $49.99 per hour per SWAT officer a good price? Maybe I could put ads in and lower the price with the ad revenue gained. Maybe we could also implement an AI assistant to answer customers questions.
This is fake!
If it was real, the “Nevermind” button would be a “Maybe later” button instead…
“Ask me again in 4 minutes”
“Once you let go of the left mouse button you just pressed, you consent to 12 $49.99 charges for your yearly subscription to our services.”
My employer generally sucks, but one of the few things they do right is give us no-questions-asked PTO. Nobody cares if we take a day, it’s part of our compensation.
im too sick to answer the door, come back another day
this aint funny though more like depressing
Please tell me this isn’t real
Just a joke from an insta account that does a lot of these kinds of posts. Just a joke so far…
I give it 6 months until this is a real thing.
In Spain this actually exists.
Right now. HR are in talks with the developers.
Jokes are supposed to be funny, not depressing.
We truly are in the dark timeline
I used to work for a call center that had an automated call out system, so you didn’t have to talk to anyone or give a specific excuse. However, at some point management instituted a policy requiring supervisors to call their employees to “check in on their wellbeing.” I don’t even have to be cynical to know the real purpose because I was in the meetings where they talked about it as a tactic to reduce absenteeism.
Surely you didn’t have to answer, if your policy is “do X to call in sick”. You’re just putting your phone to silent to rest.
That would be my response, but a lot of people can be guilt tripped into coming in to work anyway.
Jokes on them, I stopped being vulnerable to guilt tripping at 17. I guess my alcoholic abusive mother was good for something after all.
I’m off all next week for my 10th anniversary and really mainly to take care of a bunch of shit I can’t do because I’m always working… So anyway I’m working Monday.
“we’re a family”
Yeah, and I’m the three year old child in the family that you don’t listen to, don’t trust, and you won’t raise my paltry allowance.
I’m glad I was able to intervene when an employee just didn’t show up for a few days, couldn’t get ahold of him. My manager (a good guy) asked me if I thought we should call the cops for a wellness check, I told him we couldn’t call the cops on a disabled black guy.
Not sure what went down with him but he ended up calling in and he was okay. He either quit shortly after or never came back, I don’t remember. Last I heard he was pursuing his passion teaching skiing to kids with cancer and disabilities. Cool dude.
Yeah my first thought seeing this was “oh that person is gonna get killed if they send the cops”. Glad you had some smarts there. There have been multiple indigenous people killed in wellness checks in Canada as well in recent weeks.
FYI, to compare “what it could be”. Union rules here (country in scandinavia) forbid the employers to ask what is wrong, when employees call in sick. They can, after some time, if the employee still is sick, ask for a doctor to verify that the employee is indeed unable to come to work. The doctor though can only write a letter confirming (if that is the case) that indeed this employee is unable to attend work due to medical issues. No description is needed or required, not even an estimate of when they will be ok again.
Also, you get full sick pay while sick, medical care is free, and if the employer asks for a doctor confirmation, they are will have to pay for it (current price aprox €100)
wellness checks are deducted from her payroll??? is this legal ? the us labor laws are weird man
You’re not wrong but this image is a parody
Please tell me this is a joke. I legitimately don’t know if it is or isn’t.
I could 100% say this is a possibility in america. ( Except the “we’ll bring her to office” part lol )
knock knock Pinkertons, open up
“Better come heavily armed and send bachelors.”
They definitely won’t bring you to your work.
They will happily do a magic thing where they turn your house into swiss cheese tho
Definity a fake post. The small text says the cost of the check deducted from the employee’s payroll.
“cost deducted from employee’s payroll” is the most realistic part, IMHO. I worry this joke will give someone ideas IRL. And that part is how they will sell it to CEOs.
That part is currently illegal even in the US. So, baking it into an app would be a bad idea. Most of the time companies do illegal things, they try to be less explicit.
Currently.
Probably the only reason it’s not written into Project 2025 is that they didn’t think of it
Honestly, based on the stories of what’s happening in America. That’s not a reliable indicator.
meanwhile useless incompetent middle managers across america are seeing the post and salivating while furiously looking for where to sign up for the service
Tesla might get in some serious trouble in Germany for allegedly doing this to sick employees.
Yup, good eye - we’re at least two election cycles away from that being plausible.
Yeah not holding my breath that my assumptions on what’s reasonable in American work culture will last forever.
It is a joke, lol
This guy makes these terrible concepts for apps and stuff:
Not gona lie, I do like the speed limit leaderboard. Though I would see people trying to get the “high score” on something like this.
“Go for the high score” is definitely a thought that crosses my mind every time I see one of those speed radar things the police sometimes put on the side of the road that flashes your speed at you. Kinda feel like those things actually encourage unsafe driving because of people like me with impulse control issues.
Those with impulse control issues that would cause them to drive recklessly “for the memes” shouldn’t have a license
Are you always this fun when someone says something facetious around you? Go pop a Prozac. They worked wonders for me.
Do you take things a bit too seriously on the Internet sometimes? Do drugs!
Great stance you have on mental illness there.
This was a huge issue with the automated speed signs around where I live. They had to take them down because of it and reprogram them to stop showing the speed and instead flash the speed limit when people were speeding.
Nobody beats my high scores. Nobody.
E: actually, some trivia. You have seen those “your speed” signs with an led readout? Now I can’t say how I know this, but - at least on some variants, models, etc - there is an upper limit/safety check. “if user’s speed variable is higher than X, turn off the sign, it’s malfunctioning” logic. So, just for a hypothetical situation, the assigned speed limit is 25mph but you go through at, I don’t know, let’s pick a number that is absolutely not what I tested, and say 60. The readout will reach that number as the user accelerates towards it, hit the upper limit, immediately shutoff, and will (afaik) need to be reset manually. Returning hours later reveals a dead readout. Returning a couple days later, oh hey it’s back.
So we already have this, but it’d be nice to get scores higher than like ~40 over. And history, sharing…
Does Lemmy have a “hostile UI” community?
I mean, it’s a joke, but many of his ideas are also libertarian wet dreams
At least I can tell you that it does not work in my country, where bosses and authorities cannot decide whether or not you are sick, only doctors can.
It’s amazing how low on the ladder American doctors’ opinions are!
Far below politicians, bosses, and most of all insurance companies, who, as we all know, possess way more hands on medical training. (is /s even needed!? Lol)
Opinions, LOL, yes, the sacred thing for all Usamericans.
Here it is a doctor’s statement, legally binding.
My gosh, you’re right. They always say “In my professional medical opinion” or “within a reasonable degree of medical certainty”…I always found it reasonable wording because we’re indeed a litigious society and nobody can be 100% certain…
… But is a major function of that paradigm just to allow the likes of insurance companies or random senators to say “That’s just like, your opinion, man” at them? :|
(Effectively: "The Lebowski Shutdown " maneuver)
Standing too close to occurring in the near future to qualify as funny.
