Record the farts. Sample the audio. Create music.
Theres a band called the Toot Toot Toots:
https://youtu.be/0_pqvod-xOw?si=Xqwk2g1nVMbDSkhP
Personally, i think this song and music video slaps
It does indeed. Thanks for sharing this, and I’m now a fan. Sadly, they seem to have split up after rebranding as ‘Twin Beasts’. I found the album for this on bandcamp: https://thetoottoottoots.bandcamp.com/album/outlaws ; and the rest of the album is great too after sampling a few tracks.
That lead vocalist is mostly incomprehensible, but his voice is awesome.
The copyright issues could be interesting.
???.
Profit.
If that’s the only issue? Ignore it and carry on. Consider yourself lucky.
Better out than in, as our holy green swamp ogre says
Well, I would love it if my tightly wound boss would pull something like this. Way out of character.
As a college student, I walked into the multi-use bathroom, and proceeded to a urinal. Strange, rhythmic, wet sounds were coming from the lone stall in use. I thought, “Okay, what the hell is this?” and tried to wrap things up quick, in case things got weird. Too late. I then hear another strange sound from the stall, something like crinkling wax paper. None of this made sense to my young mind. Then I hear a wet “plop” from the stall, and more crinkling wax paper noises. I quickly finish up, and turn to leave. On the floor of the stall I can see a partially eaten Subway sandwich. Unbelievable
This base human then picks up the sandwich, and continues eating.
To this day, I do not eat Subway.
Fight fire with fire.
Another benefit of working from home.
I love how the last full paragraph shifts the narrative from tooting in general is strange to normalizing 2 toots, but a 3rd one???
While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say “poop poop” then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.
Dominance is the key
this whole thread, I’m crying
I’m not sure you’d win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It’s a pretty wild gamble to assume that “poop poop” is not in his repertoire.
Are you sure it’s not the other way around? Maybe he just says toot toot to be sure it’s not a turd arriving…
I’m pretty sure the oncoming fart triggers the “toot toot”, not the phrase triggering a fart. However you may be correct about the pavlovian aspect.
The moment you hear that third Saiyan “POOOOP” and realize you’ve woefully miscalculated.
Everything is about shitting -> Power is about shitting
Power is about shitting -> shitting is about power
Repeat
Heres what you do - go to the bank today, get $50 in pennies…
This is so fake. Are we supposed to believe that the boss can predict when a fart is going to be extra nasty and adding an extra toot when he ALWAYS only does two???
Yeah obviously made up for fake internet points. There’s no way there was a third toot, it’s just impossible. I don’t buy it.
I mean…i have a pretty good idea if a fart is going to be gross af. You just know.
Also if you have a fart and it’s gross, then it should be reasonable to assume that the next one will also be bad.
Toot toot morherfucker.
move out of the UK
move boss out of the UK
It almost makes me want to take laxatives, go “TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT”, then shit on the floor to assert dominance.
Just almost??
Three toots is enemy action.
I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn’t dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean
Haha, I thought I was the only one!
I started doing it to annoy my wife, but now I still do it, and it’s taking considerable concentration to not dab when I sneeze.
I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn’t until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.
Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.
If he starts doing “chugga chugga” you really need to watch out
The correct amount is four chuggas.
I find any variation of 2n chuggas where n > 0 to be acceptable personally
Ahh the classic 1024 chuggas in a row.
Edit: typo
The 64 bit transition was done so that we could handle over 4 billion chuggas without underflowing back to 0 chuggas. Plus we can express a chugga debt of over 4 billion.
From exit code 1 to exit code 0
I’d honestly ask them if they’d seen a doctor about that. No one should be that gassy on a regular basis.
All I do is fart. Except during the times when I’m holding in my farts so I can keep living among society. But even then I’m just quietly belching under my breath. All I am is gas. Held together in the loose shape of a man by the surface tension in a bubble of cheeseburger grease and the force of my will to eat another. Just one more. My urine is carbonated.
.
Are you me? I gas my poor boyfriend every day. I’ve just come to accept it at this point.
