Remember to flip the switch back on when you need to pee
Not the same plumbing.
Contrary to common belief, pee is, in fact, stored in the balls.
Yeah, TIL about the meme. Whoosh for me.
Congrats! You were one of today’s lucky ten thousand!
TIL. Thanks.
There’s a big difference between this and getting snipped. The difference is, like, vast. It’s a vast difference.
More of a vas deferens I think
Angry up vote
Yes, indeed, you said the funny part aloud.
“Mods, deactivate this man’s balls.”
They just want your money, super glue works just as good and it’s cheaper, non-invasive.
After you get snipped, it’s potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.
Edit: sorry for facts on shit post
This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.
People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn’t think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.
Maybe this plus a urethral spermicide enema?
I think you’ll need to go deeper than just the urethra.
Yeah, but you still gotta go through it
I was in a band called Urethral Spermicide Enema. We were the least successful string quartet in the Florida panhandle.
Did you have to get a USE to join the band?
Should’ve gone to Gainesville
Yes here is an article about it. Article
The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”
30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.
I’ll hold your beer, but I’m not providing an audience.
Screw this guy. I’ll cheer you and bring you water when you’re done
Yeah…you need to be hydrating if you’re fapping several times a day.
That’s just good science.
Weirdest gdq speedrun ever?
That’s like half a day. What am I supposed to do with the other half?
Beat your meat in the missus?
Gotta wait for the clear bill of health
Yep. For anyone who’s that serious about not having children, that’s more like an incentive.
Source: got snipped.
When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then “ejaculate as frequently as possible” before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.
Doctor’s orders! 🫡
Lol I was given the same advice.
“Go home, rest up for two weeks, the bust as much as you can before you come back and get tested”
To clarify why, it’s because sperm travels through those tubes for at least 5 days before reaching maturity and then once in position can be ejaculated by a pressure differential caused by the prostate (that bulb thing between the balls and urethra). So an effective switch with an instant effect would need to be placed before but directly adjacent to the prostate which could have potential complications when the prostate attempts to dry fire with the feed shuttered.
The solution is clearly to add a synthetic pressure bladder. (Don’t, I’m joking).
Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker
Cannot pee anymore :(
(because the pee is stored in the balls)
Future kink
WannaCry? No, WannaCum.
Can still cum, just no sperm 🥲
“Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I’ll give you an errection in front of the HR manager.”
Or worse
"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or you’ll never get an errection again.*
Even worse
“You are now on a per-boner subscription plan”
They could just straight up drain your balls and leave them drier than the Sahara desert.
Or someone triggers this remotely after it has been off for like 2 years. You sit on Monday morning meeting. You get up to the screen to present your new project and boom.
Don’t kinkshame me
I see two casings for switches. Do you have to toggle each ball individually or something?
Also, how do you remember which way to flip the switch? Can it get turned around?
Flip them on and off repeatedly to put them in pairing mode.
“FUCK, I came for longer than 5 seconds. Now I have to go through the factory reset AGAIN.”
“You’ve turned on sticky keys.”
I know, right? Do you just flip one and run at 50%?
Ya but can I have my switch installed near my taint?
Careful what you wish for
I mean if you’re that worried it’d be more effective to build up a spank bank for making kids later and then just get a vasectomy.
That’s either a very small finger or a very large dick
For you
click
Before continuing, please accept the following terms and conditions… [35 pages of legalese ensue]
“you’re subscription will expire in 3 days. Renew now to avoid testicular incineration.”
Followed by 15mins of unsinkable ads
uBlock Origin -Iceberg edition-
Hook it up to a clapper and live life dangerously.
Actually you’ll need to cum 3-5 times with the switch off to eliminate the chances of impregnating someone!
It’s that way when having a vasectomy
When I got a vasectomy, it was like 20 before they wanted to do a fertility test.
That was the hardest part of the whole procedure. It took like 3 hours for the doctor to make me cum that many times.
Someone has made porn of this somewhere
ಠ_ಠ
So a toggleable vasectomy.
Trouble is you need a several days (maybe a week or more) and/or a few ejaculations to actually be sterile after a vasectomy… So this isn’t the kind of thing that you can flip on in the moment and you’re safe.
Better to keep it off until you and your wife are trying for a kid than keep it on and flip it off for saf(er) sex. Why keep your cum on while you’re just walking around?
Mostly for fashion reasons
I’d imagine most men would only need to actually use the switch twice in their lives anyways. So having to wait a couple weeks wouldn’t be too bad.
They told me three months. In case the wires reconnect
