Wait a minute … does this mean Jesus was undead!? Of course, it all makes sense now!
40 And they laughed at him. But he put them all outside and took the child’s father and mother and those who were with him and went in where the child was. 41 Taking her by the hand he said to her, “Talitha cumi,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” 42 And immediately the girl got up and began walking (for she was twelve years of age), and they were immediately overcome with amazement. 43 And he strictly charged them that no one should know this, and told them to give her something to eat. 44 Preferably brains.
So weird to see this without Mr. Incredible twerking
In turn, could Jesus lift Mjölnir?
Probably. Dude was a prototypical pacifist and would probably use it for carpentry.
Mfer could drive 9 inch nails with 1 hit
After that you’ll have a head like a hole.
Nah, the comics make a point that “worthy” is based on Asgardian morals, not Christian. Pacifists couldn’t lift it because Asgardians are expected to be warriors.
Darn, today I learned that Mr. Rogers was ready for war.
People said it was just a rumor that he was a Navy Seal, but that artist knew the truth.
SMH I can’t believe they did goku like this.
What the hell did I just watch?!
Kelvin is the youth pastor for his dad’s megachurch. This part of his performative acting out as a result of not wanting to be a youth pastor forever. In case you couldn’t tell from the video he is also coded as a deeply closeted gay man.
Is the guy in the second panel Quasimodo?
Looks like PvZ.
That is Gargantuar from the hit 2009 video game Plants vs Zombies
OK so I have questions about this cartoon. I get Hulk, Mr Incredible and Goku, but why Mighty Mouse?
Why would the first three make sense, but not Mighty Mouse?
Because he has almost completely faded to obscurity. Most people under 30 probably wouldn’t recognize him at all.
Superman not being one of the characters in this image is also kind of baffling. Unless the artist believes that Superman could bear the cross.
It’s like they’ve never seen an episode before. He was always lifting up crosses and crucifying Jews.
Because mice sin too.
Curious what sins mice do.
they steal our cheese and goddammit I need that cheese
False idols. Lots of gold statues in mouse dens.
Fun fact: all mice are devil worshippers
To appeal to children, which is an important focus of religious propaganda.
Need to get the programming in early to make it stick. Especially developing brains can be put into a completely fictional world and their young brains assume it’s reality. The CIA did some fun stuff on this, but religion has hundreds of years of experience with child abuse in all of its forms.
Pretty sure kids these days are going to he more familiar with Goku and Hulk than Mighty Mouse.
Do church leaders know that?
I don’t know, but it seems weird that they would know that but still know what Super Saiyan Blue is.
Ok as an ex catholic the level of sacreligiosity here is impressive. The cross isn’t the heavy bit, it’s heavy sure, he was tortured to death, but a stranger helped him carry it when he couldn’t carry it alone. The heavy bit was choosing to go be tortured to death for everyone including his killers. It was refusing to use divine power to save himself. The cross? No, a thief, a murderer, and a prophet died on that hill that day, each carried their cross, each died on it.
Protestants are fucking weird.
What does Protestants have to do with this?
Most of the really out there Christian fundamentalists, the ones eating the brain of the US political system, are derived from the Protestant Reformation (or Anglican, which is sorta to the side of the Reformation). Even the more fundamentalist Catholics in the US have opinions that align to the Protestants around them rather than the Pope. Big Bang and evolution, for example.
Most of the really out there Christian fundamentalists, the ones eating the brain of the US political system, are derived from the Protestant Reformation (or Anglican, which is sorta to the side of the Reformation). Even the more fundamentalist Catholics in the US have opinions that align to the Protestants around them rather than the Pope. Big Bang and evolution, for example.
It’s not protestants, it’s wacko us pseudo Christian sects that are anything but (but that seem to be dominant in the religious landscape in the US).
They are, by and large, Protestant Christians.
And as a paragon of good I wouldn’t think Jesus would be so smug about it
Protestants are fucking weird.
To be fair, transubstantiation.
To be fair, I think they cut out the part where a bunch of people meditate in catacombs after ingesting mushrooms caps picked from dead bodies.
Trans what now?
The idea that the crackers catholics eat during mass turn into the literal not figurative flesh and blood of Christ.
That means it’s fine to give wine to kids because it totally won’t give them a buzz! It won’t affect their feelings towards the church or make them easier to manipulate at all.
Nope. Nuh-uh.
Not to detect from your final point, but I’m quite sure the point of this super dumb religious meme is the symbolic weight of the cross.
If your god’s greatest act is “willingly becoming a murder victim”, you might be in a death cult.
the original undermines its own message: they are lifting it, even if barely and with difficulty, which implies that those characters are within an order of magnitude or so of literal divine power.
To be fair, Jesus’ message (some of it, scripture is not univocal) is that divine power is within the grasp of us mere mortals. That everyone who follows him would be able to do miracles like his.
(Apologists suggest he was referring to just the apostles to explain why the rest of us are bound by naturalism, but there are implications that’s not what he meant.)
Note that Gospel Jesus was big on direct evidence.
That said, the cross was made of wood, and Jesus wasn’t the only convict tasked with carrying one. The gravity is in being willing to die for one’s principles which all of these characters would do unflinchingly.
Pointing out that Jesus was absolutely not the only person who carried a cross and was crucified is an excellent point. The cartoonist absolutely missing the whole… thing with thos image.
Hell, he wasn’t even the only one carrying his. He stumbled three times and a stranger helped him carry it
Matthew 17:20, NIV He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
I was raised Evangelical and yeah, my parents took that literally.
Not necessarily… They are merely within an order of magnitude of the strength required to lift the cross all the way. Buff Jesus might be many leagues more powerful than that, for all we know.
I think that’s canonically true for Goku and Hulk
Worshiping Goku is a one way ticket to the Home For Infinite Losers.
Goku vs Jesus debate when
So this is the power of God and anime
Jesus fed the 5000. Goku eats that much every day.
Since Goku existed and has always been a Christ figure?
Goku has died way more times than Jesus. That probably gives him an edge.
What if Jesus had prep time tho?
Is 3 days enough?
Would Kami let Jesus use the hyperbolic time chamber?
Sun Wukong is way cooler than Jesus
Regarding the original panel: Powerscaling is so dumb. Fine, your imaginary character is stronger than mine. Now, what?
Sometimes it’s just fun to write fanfic regardless of who you think is stronger. If the characters have strong motivations good stories are bound to unfold.
i like stan lees quote on who would win in a fight x or y
he said “whoever the writer wants to win”
Now we do it again with two other characters, because it’s fun. =D
Might makes right, obv.
Jesus, known for lifting up crosses
Someone helped him carry it after he collapsed a few times.
That’s what they call crossfit
