cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16589408

Places like gay bars and cafes were made with the explicit purpose of creating a safe space for LGBTQ+ folk. We HAD to create safe spaces because so many straight people want to inflict harm on us or wish that we were exterminated. Being around you means we cannot be ourselves fully because we will always hesitate. We will always wonder “Are you one of the good ones?” We spend our lives tiptoeing around straight people wondering if we can be ourselves or if we have to hide it to protect us from the psychotic amount of negativity and hatred that we have to deal with for merely existing.

I don’t care if you’re one of the good ones or not. By simply being there you are changing the entire makeup of an LGBTQ+ space. You are adding in fear, apprehension and confusion into a place that was never supposed to have it. Moreover, you’re treating us like a novelty. Like we made this place for you to feel safe in. You are ignoring us and forcing us out of our own spaces. There are multiple “gay bars” that I have been to that no longer have predominately gay clientele and have started leaning towards advertising for straight people. Why? Because so many people showed up to “feel safe” that it pushed every single one of us out.

It isn’t for you. You do not belong there. Stop feeling and acting so entitled to a place that has nothing to do with you and that was made with the explicit purpose to be free from you. Give us back our spaces that we made for us and stop whining when we dare to say that.

Your feelings are not more important than our identity, safety and peace of mind.

  • Riker@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    0·
    5 months ago

    You’re completely missing the point. When straight women go to our places they become that type of people. They become the person who makes us unsafe. They become the one taking over our spaces and making us hesitate in a place for us.

    It is not a space for them. It is a space for us. Why is it so hard to comprehend the fact that you should respect those boundaries and stay out of spaces not meant for you? The level of entitlement is insane and beyond disgusting.

      • Riker@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
        0·
        5 months ago

        Said by a person who has no idea what they are about and no frame of reference. Either you’re straight and just entitled and arrogant and doing exactly what I said (putting your personal feelings and opinions above those you’re actually impacting) or you’re someone who doesn’t know a single thing about your own communities history and culture. Either way, you’re an outsider looking in and your opinion is incredibly ignorant and utterly worthless.

        We live our lives in fear and hesitation. Why? Because some straight people want us dead, some straight people don’t care and some straight people support us. The problem is we can’t tell who is who so we become immediately defensive and on guard around straight people until we know whether or not we can trust that they’re not going to kill us or attack us, something that happens with alarming frequency. With the rhetoric currently existing in the world that only heightens the nervousness for us. By you being there at all you are completely changing the atmosphere. What goes from “We are among each other and safe” becomes “We need to protect ourselves until we know whether or not they can be trusted.” And if you want to whine and say “Well, why would someone go to a gay space and just attack it” then might I suggest looking at the Pulse nightclub shooting or the Club Q attack or the shit that the entire present day movement was based off of, Stonewall.

        • MotoAsh@lemmy.worldEnglish
          0·
          5 months ago

          Keep discounting everyones’ experience but your own. It really makes you appear sane.

          • Riker@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
            0·
            5 months ago

            You’re the one discounting here. You’ve offered zero reason or backup for your stance. You’re being dismissive. What’s making me appear insane is bothering to engage with a troll like you. I’ll rectify that.