Remember how many days are in each month. I mean, I guess maybe I could if I tried harder, but I refuse.
31 29 31 30 31 30 31 31 30 31 30 31
It alternates between 31 and 30. The exception being that February got shortchanged and had to give a day to August, and it keeps alternating after that.
Due to leap year magic February has to give up yet another day, so it’s either 28 or 29.
30 days hath September, April June, and November.
All the rest have 31 except for oddball February.
This seems as easy to memorize as any one Shakespeare play
I genuinely can’t comprehend this statement. I’ve always heard it and it just sounds like random words jumbled together
Knuckles seem easier
Hath is old English for have. Those 4 months have 30 days. Once you know that February has 28, you know the rest by process of elimination.
Use your knuckles and the space between from left to right. The higher points are longer months.
The left pinky knuckle is January, the space between pinky and ring knuckle is February, the ring knuckle is March and so on. The left index knuckle will be July and you continue with August being the right hand index knuckle. All the months that land on a knuckle are 31, while everything else is 30 (except 28 or 29 for February).
30 days hath September,
April, June, and November.Whats the point? When do I need this information?
Bring on the 13x28 calender and end the madness.
YES THANK YOU!!! The only sane person right here! 😭😭😭
Make both hands into a fist and hold them out in front of you so that the knuckles are visible. Now start on a pinky and count the knuckles and valleys between them. Knuckles are 31 days, valleys are 30 (and February). When you switch between hands it doesn’t count as a valley.
Left Pinky knucke: January, 31 days
Left Pinky/ring finger valley: February
Left Ring finger knuckle: march, 31
Left Ring/middle: April, 30
Left Middle: may, 31
Left Middle/index: June, 30
Left Index: July, 31
Right Index: August, 31
Right Index/middle: September, 30
Right middle: Oktober, 31
Right middle/ring: November, 30
Right ring finger knuckle: December, 31I got halfway through that, then died of old age during a month that may or may not have 31 days.
even
Last time I accidentally a Coca Cola bottle.
rip
Some days when the pollen count is high, breathe.
I can’t whistle. Honestly I think it’s because one of my lower front teeth is crooked, twisted at an angle. 🤷♂️
Me neither, and for the same reason.
I lost my ability to whistle in a tragic playground accident when my front teeth met the skull of a friend travelling in the other direction. Ever since, crooked front tooth.
ow
My parents used to tell me as a kid that I couldn’t whistle because I wasn’t eating my pizza crust. After I started eating the crust I learned how to whistle.
Have you tried eating crust?
With a crooked tooth? Impossible!
Swallow pills. It takes 3-4 tries every time for the smaller ones.
I haven’t had trouble swallowing pills, so I don’t how helpful this is, but it’s something that still made it easier for me: I used to try to swallow the pill by just pushing it with water on an initially empty throat. Once I started swallowing the water first, then letting the pill ride between gulps in the stream’s momentum, it became more comfortable and automatic.
I haven’t had to take one in a while but I’ll probably try this or simply try without water next time.
I wish there was a way to explain this without making it sound gross, but get some saltines, chew em up, and sneak the pill into the mash in your mouth before you swallow
Consuming along with a water-based ice treat such as an Icy Pole, Zooper Dooper etc might help.
The funny thing is I’m sure you swallow larger pieces of food all the time with no trouble!
Probably when not paying attention. But also, sometimes I chew soup if there’s rice or other small things in it :p
Difference is that you can chew the food, it’s much more natural. You can’t, or aren’t supposed to, chew the pill (especially if it’s a capsule). There is a psychological component, for sure.
The food wouldn’t be in a form factor where they can turn sideways and get lodged in your throat. It’s so unpleasant when that happens.
Walk more than 20 meters at a time.
How big are your legs, chief?
10 m of course. Can’t you do basic math?
I guess it’s a basic thing which I can’t do
Cook
I used to be unable to jump, but then I did Morris dancing. I learned how to jump normally at 27.
What happened when you tried to jump? I can’t picture this.
Forgive the audio, recommend muting, but I expect it might have been similar to this video of a woman who does not know how to jump:
What in the world. Thanks, this simultaneously explains so much and so little.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://www.piped.video/watch?v=k1EVWeek7Kk
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
I could spring from my ankles, but getting my knees involved made me mess up the timing and I got no lift.
I second the curiosity. What would it look like? Sudden crouching? Paralyzing indecision?
I’m picturing those seizure goats
Basically
I can’t turn left.
Don’t worry, not being able to turn left is all right
They say 2 wrongs don’t make a right, but 3 rights sure make a left
navigate the social landscape of a corporate office
Oooof, I hear that. Things are more political than ever at my work and it’s like, I just want to do my job and go home
The rules are “make anyone above you feel good about themselves because they’ll throw a hissy fit if you don’t make them feel special.” It’s pathetic and I’m tired of it.
But like if I try this, if I break down and try this, I’m so bad at it that it’s insulting and threatening to them to see my transparent flattery and wheedling.
I can’t navigate politics at all. Have done ok working at startups though, some offices are not at all political. Where I work, we can fix other people’s processes if we think of a better way, we work with other departments, I don’t have to go through my manager to talk to your manager to get to you, can go directly to you. Can talk to the CEO, to ex- employees, nobody is protective of their work, nobody is angling for my job.
Everyone in my office just fucking moans about everything, all the time. It’s honestly exhausting. The company is actually really good and gives a ton of perks. Just do your job and go home. Stop trying to bring everyone down with your shit.
Remember where I put my keys and or wallet. Def didn’t put them in the bowl my wife got for me by the door specifically to put those things in.
Oh man, the bowl is there for a reason, just use it Jeff!
(I’ve decided your name is Jeff for reasons not even clear to myself.)
How the hell did you know my name?
It’s obvious. You keep jeffing things up.
At least I’m not jacking them off. Plus nobody’s afraid of a Jeffrey
Diving. Thousands blown along multiple failed exams. Still get made fun of in my family and work due to that.
Diving or driving lol?
Given his luck, hopefully one or the other not both at once tbh
Cooking. I’ve tried learning multiple times but I still can’t really make anything more complicated than boiling pasta or frying eggs or a grilled cheese. I wish I could learn but everytime someone tries to teach me I can’t retain what they teach me and do it independently. I’m constantly fucking up in the kitchen which leads me to waste food, which my parents drilled into me is like the worst sin you can commit, so I stopped trying. I hated throwing things out because I’d fucked them up, especially because by that point I’d be so hungry that my failure would have an outsized effect on my emotions, and I wouldn’t want to try again. So I just order food, make simple things like noodles and sandwiches, and avoid anything more complicated.
What I did so far to overcome it:
- Accept that sometimes you can’t make every food perfect.
Sometimes the rice is overdone or too sticky or the pasta is too salty. - Try out simple dishes and continue from there. (Potatoes + sour cream -> Baked potatoes (wedges) with rosemary in oil -> Hasselback potatoes -> etc.)
- Keep track of what you liked that your parents prepared for you.
Interrogate them if it’s necessary. Until they stop with the “Do as much as you like” and instead instruct you with “Put about a cup of X and about a quarter of Y by volume”. If you got this you are nore prepared for the measure by eye and feel.
It’s like science. It is science.
I love cooking and I’ve gotten pretty good at making a lot of stuff completely from scratch. But my rice has always been awful, it seems so simple.
We got a $20 rice cooker a few months ago and its been a game changer. Perfect rice every time.
Also I just recently found out your supposed to wash rice before you eat it. Apparently its covered in a lot of heavy metals or something.
Dunno about the heavy metal stuff. I am in Germany and usually our stuff is (I hope so) relatively safe and if unsafe levels are noticee the product has to be recalled.
Usually to wash rice to get rid of the accumulated starches. Usually with short grain rice. Long grain didnt require ut the few times I did it.
Ahh I think I had it mixed up, in the states at least rice contains a lot of heavy metals so when my son was young we avoided giving him too much rice, which was difficult since basically every kid snack is rice based.
A quick google search says washing it ‘could’ get rid of some of those metals, but not really. Makes me feel a little better about not ever washing my rice but it does cook a lot nicer after washing which makes sense.
Until they stop with the “Do as much as you like” and instead instruct you with “Put about a cup of X and about a quarter of Y by volume”.
My parents are the worst about this. It’s all based on vibes. My dad acts like Amadeus in the kitchen, furiously experimenting and being creative. I’ve asked him to explain wtf he’s doing and he never does. Like he’ll tell me what he’s literally doing, but with no explanation of why.
Edit: Particularly with cooking meat, which I never seem to do right. My parents both describe the temperature and time they choose purely in terms of vibes and I have no idea how to copy that when I go from trying to learn with them where I’m typically trying to cook for 3-4 people to trying to figure out how to cook for just myself.
Meat: get a ThermaPen instant read thermometer and cook meats to 120 for rare, 125 for med rare and 135 for medium. Pull the meat off heat 5 d before it hits you desired temp.
This book should take care of the basics: https://amzn.eu/d/16lMSZG
(If you are not in the EU area, just search for the title on your local amazon or book store)What I read so far in it is bits of explanation of the science of taste and cooking whats happening inside the food and storytelling. This would give you an aid to be closer to what your father does being an able to experiment and deviate from a recipe.
Personally I enjoy the recipes from http://justonecookbook.com
The recipes are not very complicated and tasty. It usually is supplemented by a youtube video that shows the steps as well.
Interrogate them if it’s necessary. Until they stop with the “Do as much as you like” and instead instruct you with “Put about a cup of X and about a quarter of Y by volume”. If you got this you are nore prepared for the measure by eye and feel.
I get around this by asking them to make the specifics dish, gathering all the ingredients for them, then weighing everything before and after to get exact numbers.
It really is a matter of “do as much as you like”, but without an intuition on how different ingredients taste and affect the dish at varying quantities, you’re not going to know how much you like. So getting that starting point to experiment with is very important.
Usually my meals end up in “I feel like there is one aspect missing to tie the whole thing together”.
- Accept that sometimes you can’t make every food perfect.
Just boil stuff, eggs, carrot, veg, ect
I totally get you, I’m the same with auto mechanics, I tried but no joy. But I do know a thing or two about cooking.
There are some things you can do to help yourself, get a list together of meats that are better with lengthy time cooking methods- for instance pork shoulder or sirloin.
Get a crock pot, slow cooker, or smoker.
Basically, you can get recipes for these which are literally the same: Season meat, add potatoes, carrots or other hearty vegetables. Set to cook and walk away- it cooks itself.
Cooking at home doesn’t always mean cooking from scratch, you can absolutely grab a can of soup (cream of mushroom) and add it to boiled pasta with some canned tuna, then bake it with a little cheese over the top.
Focus on methods & repetitive dishes, then you can branch out from there.
Meats (braise, slow cooked)
Sides (potatoes, root veg, onions)
Seasonings (seasoning blends, packets, etc)
Sauces (bbq, salad dressings, soups, etc)
Don’t be too hard on yourself, I am in the kitchen everyday and there is nothing better than a good sandwich for me at home. Simple, easy, not complicated flavors and filling. When we get busier the sandwiches get simpler, lol.
Good luck.
Cooking can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. Could it be that you’re having problems because you’re going too far into the complicated end?
If you care to share how things usually go wrong for you, maybe you’ll get some useful tips in return.
Often I overcook or undercook things, use too much or too little of some ingredient, and generally have no intuition for the quantitative side of things. These aren’t exactly recipes, just literal fundamental skills like cooking meat or vegetables for the right amount of time, at the right heat, with the right seasonings, etc.
I used to struggle with picking seasonings too, but here’s a strategy that I picked up from the internet somewhere:
- Decide which basic flavor(s) you need
- Pick an ingredient that will satisfy one or more of those flavors.
Here’s a baseline “basic flavors” that should always land you a flavorful meal:
- heat (eg peppers, wasabe)
- acid (fruit, vinegar)
- salt (table salt, soy sauce)
- fat (butter, bacon grease)
But there’s a few others that might come in handy, like:
- sweet (sugar, honey, fruit, many veggies)
- mint (thyme, rosemary, basil, black pepper)
- bitter (grapefruit, many veggies)
- savory (soy sauce, meats)
- whatever flavor alliums have (onions, garlic)
Of course, figuring out which basic flavors you need is still a skill to develop, but this two-stage process helped me a lot. Plus, if you’re trying to stay traditional, then the second stage where you pick the ingredient may already be chosen for you. Mexican food needs acid? Lime. Italian needs heat? Red pepper flakes. Asian needs salt? Soy sauce.
TL;DR: Don’t go straight to choosing ingredients you need, instead choose a basic flavor you need then pick ingredients that will satisfy that flavor.
So, I was in the same spot for a long time. The one thing I can suggest is to get a tiny portion of something you want to cook, for instance you want to make fried chicken at some point; in the beginning just get like 2 thighs that you aren’t planning on really eating. It’s literally just a test. The pressure is off for dinner that night and you get room to explore while still knowing if you have to throw it all away you are okay with it.
Flip an egg or pancake without breaking it.
You’re not waiting long enough for the bottom to set, and/or the nonstick on your pan is crap.
Allow my blood to be taken.
That’s how the wizards get you.
Funnily enough: I am a paramedic with special training in phlebotomy, worked in anaesthesia and did roughly 10.000 blood draws and iV lines in my life.
I am still having a hard time if someone else draws blood from me - I got accustomed to it due to chronic diseases that required a lot of blood being drawn. But: I can without any problem draw my own blood. It’s a bit complicated with only one arm,but I can do that.
(And if you want to put a needle anywhere else beside a vein and a intramuscular vaccination and I need full sedation)
