I approach the Obelisk,.
A new hand touches the beacon…
No no, I don’t touch the strange glowing gem, I will however lacrosse that bitch into my magic satchel and keep truckin and have it appraised later.
Holy shit check out that spear in the corner! I bet it’s awesome, since all these people died protecting it.
The rust, scratches, and broken haft are probably just to disguise it.
If my players did that from this image the spear is now a pretty sick magic item.
It’s also cursed though, like the one ring, to cause jealousy and greed
I bet that skull has some magic power!
Argh. I can feel this one.
My party often gravitates to the grossest random ad-hoc detail.
“I’m pretty sure that dead animal carcass is magical. I stuff it in my bag.”
… Much later …
“I dump the dead carcass on the Wizards desk and ask him to cast ‘detect magic’”.
…party proceeds to remind me (the DM) that they’ve carried a dead animal carcass in a backpack for half the campaign…
“Alright guys, so, obviously it’s cursed. But imagine how good it would be if we could sneak it into some bad guy’s pocket. I pick up the gem.”
GM: “Uhh, allllriiiiight. Make a wisdom saving throw. DC: fuck you.”
“Does a 40 save?”
“Look me in the eyes, and tell me: should it?”
Player: Somehow rolls Fuck You +1
GM: …
GM: Uhhhh, I’m gonna need 15 minutes
I did that once. Put on the necromancer’s crown and crit the save. I was going to have to make those crit saves hourly so I reluctantly took it off.
This looks like a job for my unseen servant (or phantasmal minion for people who play the Pathfinder Remaster)!
skeletons and filth everywhere EXCEPT the gem
The sacred artifact of absolute cleanliness!
Unfortunately, someone once said the phrase “human filth” within a 500 ft range of the artifact and it never forgot.
This just gave me the idea of an item that is secretly highly radioactive. Carrying it and being around it it would slowly give the character increasingly acute symptoms of radiation poisoning.The characters can’t possibly understand what radiation poisoning is so they would think it is some sort of magical curse. However no magic users would be able figure out what it is and how to stop it.
I’m wondering how long it would take for the players themselves to figure out what it really is, or if they ever would.
“You decipher the runes - they say ‘Drop and Run’.”
The dungeon entrance is marked with a message in an ancient language called “English.” It reads as follows:
This place is a message… and part of a system of messages… pay attention to it!
Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.
This place is not a place of honor… no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.
The danger is in a particular location… it increases towards a center… the center of danger is here… of a particular size and shape, and below us.
The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours.
The danger is to the body, and it can kill.
The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.
The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.
$10 says the party decides to delve for treasure anyway.
Oh I forgot about that. I’m definitely using that on the big bad’s lair.
“Sounds like something a treasure-hoarding dragon would say.”
-The Party
I kinda want to put that into a game word-for-word and see what happens. My money’s on TPK.
🫳🏃➡️
10 minutes to widespread organ failure is a bit short for the players to figure anything out.
That’s 100 rounds, seems like plenty of time to me.
That’s almost 100 whole sessions. It’s honestly too long of you ask me.
The demon core.
If they do figure it out you could be in for a very long debate about how far away something is inside a bag of holding.
A modernist version of Spoony’s favorite TTRPG, “Surprise! It’s Call Of Cthulu.”
oh come on, man. mage hand/unseen servant that shit into a bag of holding and forget about it for 3 years.
Not only am I going to pick it up, I’m gonna try and eat it
Nope that’s a trap. I think the DM mentioned something shiny in the flavor text an hour ago though. We should track that down.
Totally, 100% for sure not related to all those skeletons on the floor.
Lol, Tomb of Horrors last resort wish gem.
Those other skeletons were just quitters.
I hit it with my sword!