One giant corporation, profiting off of, and intentionally worsening the loneliness epidemic by buying up all the dating apps, pushing premium features, and matching you with bots… It’s shit like this that gives me trust issues with government, big business, rich people, etc…
As someone who’s never used these apps, matching you with bots?! what the fuck!
How does that even work and what do you do about it?
As others have noted, they benefit from you being a continued customer - not finding a forever match. What better way to achieve that then never letting you match a real human at all?
and the other one, eharmony, is owned by a religious zealot
Are there any that are more independent?
I’ve seen adds gor duolicious on 4chan, it’s allegedly open source
Bumble is the only mainstream one I know for certain is independent.
It’s not technically independent since Badoo (owned by Bumble) is a very popular dating app too. Those two apps/companies have a weird history (Badoo’s owner funded Bumble), but Bumble was also started by an ex-Tinder employee.
And looking at their Wikipedia entries, Bumble seems to be publicly traded with Blackstone owning a significant portion of the company. Bumble also bought Fruitz (another dating app) a few years ago.
Fun fact about Bumble:
Initially, only women were able to start conversation after matching. This ‘feature’ was removed recently.
Lol. Lmao even.
The article doesn’t say what you’re claiming it says.
While it is not ditching the requirement for women to make the first move, its female users can now send a template question such as “What book or film changed the way you think?”, using the site’s Opening Moves feature.
I’m going to ignore all the problems in the article, like how it pretends that putting in effort to message someone first and not getting a sufficient reply is some new phenomenon that uniquely affects women 🙄 holy shit
Tried Bumble. Got a match with a woman whose interests seemed fairly similar to mine, seemed like a very cool person overall.
Couldn’t message her and the match expired because they only last 24h or something on Bumble and I believe you can extend once (for 24h).
Stopped using the app shortly after that.
At least on Tinder I’d get matches. Mostly low quality (by low quality I don’t mean the person… I mean that we just didn’t have much in common), but they existed and I could message them.
Bumble removing that means it’s perhaps now usable for someone who’s not super conventionally attractive, but has enough personality to kick off a conversation. But it also means that now it’s just the same as all the other apps.
I’ve met my current girlfriend via bumble, back in early 2023. As a man, I was extremely annoyed at how many women would match with me and never send a message, felt like a full 2/3. Seems like half of them skipped the “you, woman, are supposed to start the conversation”, never understanding why none of the men ever sent a hi
That sounds like a huge issue.
It was.
My gf was one that initially didn’t understand that dynamic and nearly lost our match, she had to be told by a friend (that recommended her use the app in the first place) that she had to send the first message. Dunno how much could be the app’s fault, it does state during profile creation that women make the first move, but it probably didn’t put any other reminders afterwards.
Other dates I went out with also had similar stories of not paying attention to that message.
The Bumble IPO was when I knew online dating as a business was done. Look up the stock and pour one out for anyone who bought it five years ago.
Grindr is publically traded
Publicly traded is even worse tbh
And kept in business by a thriving community of convention-attending Republicans.
The only “success” I’ve ever had on a dating app was one called “Boo”, but it’s possible that I suck at dating apps.
Makes perfect sense! How many companies would you expect to own all the popular dating sites? 5? 10?
Of course not! There should only be one company controlling entire markets, it’s the American way 🤡
And the best part? Matching algorithms don’t do shit. You can’t actually predict attraction and interest based on matching character traits.
Nah matching algorithms are ineffective because a) people don’t know what they want and/or b they’re wildly unrealistic about what they want and/or they’re delusional about their market value.
B is evidenced by the much joked about every woman wanting a 6’4 30yr old earning 7 figures who is good looking,single (not cheating) kind and funny (maybe 0.01% of the dating pool at most)
C is self evident - 3s who think they’re 10s or the woman with 3 kids from 3 fathers not recognising that’s a red flag.
A is the one that confounds the matching system though. People will say they want X, but have spent the last decade dating Y. The pic and profile thing is supposed to get ppl to reveal their actual preferences but it doesn’t seem very effective
No, there’s actually no evidence that they work. Period. Not because people don’t know what they want–although that’s true–but because they can’t predict how people will feel in person. Attraction is incredibly complicated, and it doesn’t come down to checking a whole lot of boxes. The idea of ‘market value’ is pure incel bullshit; that’s the reason that incels do things like looksmaxxing, and it’s also the reason that it utterly fails.
At best, they can help screen people for core values, e.g., I’m not going to be able to get along with an evangelical christian, and I’m certainly not going to be able to date anyone that believes that firearms should be banned or heavily restricted. But even that’s difficult, because people that seem to have radically different values can still have good relationships with each other.
Most of it is a placebo effect.
Federated dating app when?
OKCommune?
OnlyMLs
okcommie
OKComrade - we ONLY swipe left
Our date
When someone wants to moderate it.
Hint: ain’t nobody want that
Moderation would be a nightmare, especially since Lemmy is used within many jurisdictions.
Don’t a lot of instances just bother with laws in the host country though?
I think it can be replaced with the group chat in matrix.
There no point in making dating app for 5 users.
There is an open source one at least: https://alovoa.com/
From my tests, it is full of fake bot account, bugs (my account simply vanished, twice, without reason), and moderation is basically nonexistent.
None of my 30+ intersection was with a genuine human, all of them were crypto scams, or similar scams.
It comes from a good idea, but god it is badly done.
Fedivr
Isn’t their reason for existence now just to harvest your data?
Many of the sites charge subscriptions. They exist to make money no matter how they do it.
Here are all the sites the match group owns. All of the ‘* people meet’ sites are making me laugh.
Archer Asian People Meet Babyboomer People Meet BB People Meet Black Christian People Meet Black People Meet Black Professional People Meet BLK Catholic People Meet Chinese People Meet Chispa Delightful Democratic People Meet Divorced People Meet Genxpeoplemeet Her Hinge Indiamatch Interracial People Meet Italian People Meet J People Meet Latino People Meet Ldsplanet Little People Meet Loveandseek Marriage Minded People Meet Match.com Match Japan OkCupid Ourtime Pairs People Meet Pet People Meet Plenty of Fish Republican People Meet Salams Seniorblack People Meet Single People Meet Sniffies (minority stake)[63][64] Stir The League Tinder Upward Yuzu
If you want each entry to appear on a new line, you need to put two spaces at the end of each line.
Line 1
Line 2If you want a paragraph break, use two newlines
Paragraph 1
Paragraph 2
Archer
Asian People Meet
Babyboomer People Meet
BB People Meet
Black Christian People Meet
Black People Meet
Black Professional People Meet
BLK
Catholic People Meet
Chinese People Meet
Chispa
Delightful
Democratic People Meet
Divorced People Meet
Genxpeoplemeet
Her
Hinge
Indiamatch
Interracial People Meet
Italian People Meet
J People Meet
Latino People Meet
Ldsplanet
Little People Meet
Loveandseek
Marriage Minded People Meet
Match Japan
OkCupid
Ourtime
Pairs
People Meet
Pet People Meet
Plenty of Fish
Republican People Meet
Salams
Seniorblack People Meet
Single People Meet
Sniffies (minority stake)[63][64]
Stir
The League
Tinder
Upward
Yuzu
I tried Yuzu, but the only one who wanted to fuck me was Nintendo.
You can also put a backslash before the new line
Like\ this.Like
this.I
had
NO
idea.
Thank
you!!!
For a list of items like this, it makes sense to use either an ordered list
1. Item one 2. Item twoor an unordered list
- Item one - Item twoThe problem is converting the list to point form. I would have used bullet points if it was easier than spacing
A bit of an advanced technique that I use often: Paste the list into a text editor like VSCodium, then use find/replace (in regex mode) to add a hyphen and a space to the beginning of each line, then copy all and paste that into Lemmy.
Find:
^Replace:
-Sure, but I’m surfing 100% on my phone
I use Joplin for this purpose on mobile.
Or in vim you can do the same regex replace thing with
:%s/^/-Or as I like to do sometimes without regex
:%norm I-
I wonder if they have an eugenics agenda too?
Knowing Epstein, he probably had a hand in this too.
Yeah, can’t help but notice how a lot of their subsidiaries try to pigeonhole people into racial categories…
Hot take: match group is actually doing a pretty damn good job of trying to get you a date. The constant changing fashions of dating sites indicates that the company’s sites don’t have a stranglehold on the market like, say, facebook does. They have significant competitors in the form of Bumble, Grindr, Feeld, Badoo, etc. People on site like Lemmy often concoct conspiracies about how the sites are somehow nefariously keeping your soulmate from you.
But they arent. Dating sites arent difficult because the companies are evil (sure, they are evil, but thats not why dating sites are difficult). They are difficult because people are difficult.
The thing is, they’re not incentivised to find you someone permanent because then you’ll leave the site. The less competition they have, the less reason they have to keep a good reputation.
It’s just trying to get you engaged to ultimately pay. You can have matches and they’ll be super far in the cue forcing you to buy matches or access to seeing them.
The prices to make the apps functional are incredibly high.
Besides, I don’t think they need to engineer anything to be bad. Dating random people outside your social network and interests is just not a recipe for success. Much easier to date people in the same environment as you: work, school, friend group etc…
Dating apps cant do that. Matching people you kinda know is really weird and awkward lol
Besides, I don’t think they need to engineer anything to be bad. Dating random people outside your social network and interests is just not a recipe for success. Much easier to date people in the same environment as you: work, school, friend group etc…
Dating apps cant do that. Matching people you kinda know is really weird and awkward lol
That’s not what people who used dating apps prior to enshittification (before 2019, I guess) say.
It was always shit, I promise you release day Tinder was not all that different from today. Maybe less expensive to use.
Hell, first dating advice I got was “use the websites that charge you for replies, people are more serious there”. lol, you used to have to pay to talk back prior to smartphones.
If they did an actually good job, they would ask every person after every single swipe, “Why did you reject/accept this person?” and zero in on your type instantly. They’d use that data to immediately, strictly filter for such people and you’d be off in a month, tops. I don’t know how many times I have to repeat it: they do not care about you matching.
With that said, people being difficult and guarded and full of expectations sure don’t help, either, yeah.
That is an awesome idea for a dating site. You should make it, and when it starts finding people their soulmates within a month, it will quickly become the most profitable app in the world and you’ll make oodles of money.
Or else you’ll figure out some flaw in your plan, and it will end up about as good at finding people matches as showing them a random assortment of people on the site.
Nah, match group has been using fake accounts to lure mostly men into their sites for decades. Make a free account, get a message within 30 minutes, pay 5 bucks to read it.
Last time I used tinder, in early 2023, the app was actively hiding any of the “49+” profiles that had swiped right on me. I’d get, at best, 1 match a week. I mean, 300 (yes, I counted) swipes left and not a single “you missed a match”?? They probably had fingerprinted my device and knew I was a returning user, even if I was on a different phone number, so I was a better target for them to sell their subscriptions. Either that or the algo caught how I was just going left without a thought and kept showing all their fakes and bots.
hell, tinder is so awful that the vast majority of brazilian users there just leave their instagram handle on their profile, with a few also asking to “only message if we match”
If your complaint is “this business won’t give me their services for free”, then that’s not a real complaint. They’re a business, and businesses exist to make money. Last I checked, the price of a hinge subscription for a month was about $30. You could easily spend that much on a few drinks in a night at a trendy bar.
Is tinder full of bots? Yes. But also, tinder is something of a sinking ship, and the bots keep their numbers inflated while not fighting thr flood saves on expenses. I’ve had much better luck on Hinge.
What a confidently ignorant statement.
Pour one out for the greatest dating website of all time, Craigslist Personals. You just posted a picture, wrote literally whatever essay you wanted, and you could subscribe to custom search results as an RSS feed.
The back door Craigslist adds were the best, prostitution unleashed
Probably with shared fake profiles, too.
And they have made the apps intentionaly worse, because a successful dating app deletes its users.
Yeah it’s one of those cases where basic material interest ought to cast suspicion on the apps in my view.
The proof lies in them not bothering to ask, “Why did you reject this person?” If they actually took note, they would zero in on your type immediately and send you only people of that type and you’d match within weeks. They don’t want that lol. They want you to hang around…
Could we have a fediverse dating app? What would it look like? How would we go about it?
There have been some solutions but they usually face two problems:
- Small userbase due to lack of commercials and aggressive attempts to make users stay there as long as possible
- No advanced matching algorithms due to high costs of their maintenance. No ELO. Then we turn back to the userbase and marketing question: people with completely different interests or “look ranges” see each other all the time and their high expectations and standards make them bored on such apps. I’d be very happy to know any FOSS app that defeated these problems but such issues are pretty much universal.
Alovoa.com need improvment
Pour one out for Okcupid. In its heyday it was such a fun site.
I met my wife there 14 years ago. I feel bad for people who are dating now. Seems bad out there.
It’s one giant database with different filters for each website.
Other than privacy concerns, I dislike the consumption aspect. I see them swiping and it looks like they’re shopping. I know some people have found meaningful relationships on Tinder, but I can’t get over it.
I wonder if so many using it almost as the default way of dating makes it harder to find someone for those who want to avoid it.
I wonder if so many using it almost as the default way of dating makes it harder to find someone for those who want to avoid it.
That absolutely does happen. They’ve done a lot of astroturfing on social media to discredit the idea of meeting someone in person organically. They created this stigma that people who try to do that are “creeps”, when that’s how nearly everyone found their partners until about twenty years ago…
The problem is meeting ppl organically is impossible now because we’ve been priced out of 3rd spaces. Ppl can’t afford $15 beers or $300 concert tickets.
That’s a problem with going on dates in general. Special interest clubs have always been a great place to meet people offline.
All the special interest clubs in know about require memberships/fees. Plus finding the time outside of work is a whole other issue
Wetherspoons gets a lot of shit online - to be fair the owner is a bit of a cunt, but many pub landlords are cunts too. So what difference does it make?
But its the only place I can get a pint for £1.99
If I was out looking to meet people in the hopes of a relationship, Wetherspoons is definitely somewhere I would avoid like the black fucking plague, to be honest.
Try group activities like the local book club, knitting group or swing bar.
Ya know, like.minded people.Not my hobbies. Im more into rap, art, politics, and video games. Outside of online spaces there arent spaces like that for like minded individuals in my area. Plus id have to change my immigration status if I get involved with German politics. Also German rap is horrible
