• yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    2 months ago

    when i had catholic values my intrusive thoughts were so painful and then one day i literally just woke up and realized wait a damn minute 😂 my brain just chemicals and electricity 😂 im gonna be mad because it thinks nonsense sometimes? 😂 also because i saw someone say your brain is often just trying to test you by imagining a bad situation (eg. asking you why you dont jump off a ledge) and it’s not a bearing on you it’s just trying to see what you’ll do or whatever or test your self preservation (probably bastardizing what they said) but since then it’s gotten so bearable yauy

    • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
      0·
      2 months ago

      coming back to say i enjoy how the red pen says “Ok???” there’s so many ways you can interpret that, i choose “teacher is so broken in spirit already and got to that sentence and saw a glimmer of promise and was just going to try to throw a dog a bone”

      other gems: ‘also, gross.’ ‘cool as fuck’ / ‘horrible opening’ ‘stomp a turty’ the What in the corner without a question mark the second perchance

      • Makan@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
        0·
        2 months ago

        and then he turned into a pickle

        funniest shit i’ve ever seen

        …okay, i don’t know why, something about your comment reminded me of that unfunny meme lol 😂

  • TabularTuxedo@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    2 months ago

    It’s kind of hard to get motivation to do anything nowadays since I have to mask almost 24/7. There’s basically zero people in my life who I be honest about who I am. It’s an uncanny feeling to be surrounded by “friends” in my cult that would dump me the moment that I told them who I really am.

    I remember a classmate from high school who was a Marxist. I don’t know if it would be weird to talk to them after 3 years like “hey, I know that I used to be weirdly religious in High School and barely talked to you but I’m a Marxist now. Wanna read theory?”

    Also, I’m 21. I don’t have experience with regular interactions. It’s scary.

      • TabularTuxedo@lemmygrad.ml
        0·
        2 months ago

        None. I had some friends in High School and I was always cool with them, but I drifted off. Some of them had autism or were queer, so maybe they know about masking way more than me.

        Sometimes I feel bad that I missed out on making friends during my High School years due to indoctrination. I was in such a based class.

        • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
          0·
          2 months ago

          just go for it and try to reignite whatever connection there was! maybe they’ll appreciate that you think of them after all this time. (i’m autistic so i also don’t know if that’s something bad or frowned upon or whatever but i don’t think it should be, i think it should be nice.) do you have a reunion or whatever? maybe you can follow them on social media

          • TabularTuxedo@lemmygrad.ml
            0·
            2 months ago

            Yeah, good idea. I’ll follow them on social media.

            I also don’t know what they will think, but there’s only one way to find out.

    • Commiejones@lemmygrad.ml
      0·
      2 months ago

      “hey, I know that I used to be weirdly religious in High School and barely talked to you but I’m a Marxist now. Wanna read theory?”

      Maybe not “want to read theory?” but “Thanks for the agitation, you are a crucial part of my material conditions even if it took a while.”

      • Makan@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
        0·
        2 months ago

        Oh, I mean

        I have been 30 years old for a while now.

        But now that July is literally tomorrow

        My birthday will come up before I know it.

        At this point, it’s just a few more weeks from now, I realize.

        And then I will be 31…

        Uhhh…

        …Go me? 😅😅

  • 小莱卡@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
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    2 months ago

    There is way too many Johnny Harris-ish CIA youtubers out there, i just saw one talking about the DPRK and they frame it the most CIA way possible.

    • Makan@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
      0·
      2 months ago

      Like, actually in the Company?

      Or “ex-CIA”?

      That last one basically means you’re still in it lol 😅😅

      • Makan@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
        0·
        2 months ago

        As the saying goes in regards to CIA and “ex-CIA” types:

        “You never really leave the Company.”

    • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
      0·
      2 months ago

      okay kept reading #lol i should have spared my whacking for the next few pages. his anticommunist monologue is funny as fuck bc he sucks and he knows and hes like Well yes everyones like this and its like wow. youre just so annoying and dumb. so it makes the sentiment look funnier. unless of course we get to some unironic anticiv joker mentality soon

      ETA: okay, her writing is basically just humans so complex as individuals and prone to quarrel because selfishness begets selfishness and i’ll just make peace with that. #expected

    • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
      0·
      2 months ago

      tbh im also going in no spoilers and the guy saying this is also a dick. the overtones of the narrative granted are explaining how wveryone works in self interest n i feel its gonna be one of those books where the summary is “Humanity Inherently Selfish We Cant Do Fairness” which. okay. either way i have appreciated how bleak the writing has been as a piece of historical fiction about imperial japan’s effect on korea.

    • LeninZedong@lemmygrad.ml
      0·
      2 months ago

      Another comment that triggers me (what are you saying about the children in the story? Your comment is hard to understand).

      • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
        0·
        2 months ago

        the child in question is a korean immigrant who lives in a ghetto of japan during the war period. he is about twelve or so in the period i describe. his older brother attempts to assimilate and submits to the model minority myth in the midst of blatant dehumanization from authority and mockery and isolation from his peers, but his younger brother is willing to physically fight his peers that are racist to him. (he is a child at the time so it’s fine because he’s not the one initiating the fight/bullying them, he’s retaliating against their bullying)

    • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
      0·
      2 months ago

      and when im interacting with a text and talking about it to a space of ppl who are intellectually honest and not anticommunists i dont like being simplistic because it’s like well there’s fair ground to criticize these events or what happened or admit there was a personal effect to individuals but also like idk. so many diaspora texts are just like And The New Regime Led By The Socialist Homegrown Army Was Evil And Stupid As Fuck (with minimal shades of nuance) and sometimes you just gotta read around it. it comes from a sincere place as an individual, sure it cheapens and misconstrues history as a whole, but its their expression and its interesting to read

  • Cowbee [he/they]@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    2 months ago

    Have a great week, everyone! We are all in this collective struggle together. Whenever you feel isolated or alone, remind yourself that you play a historic role along with the rest of the proletariat, and as such are not alone in this role.

    As always, communism will win.

  • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    2 months ago

    i think more people should use freechat it feels so niceys there. as a wee lad i used to get like a pavlovian response to when an otherwise stiff and serious building i was in had any sort of restaurant or signage that had a restaurant icon which feels similar to how i feel seeing a place called ‘freechat’. im very easily pleased

  • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    2 months ago

    whenever i make replies trying to be comforting i do it in one go and then read it back and go “wow i hope this doesnt fucking suck actually”. i hope my thesis is clear it always makes me so scared

    • Makan@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
      0·
      2 months ago

      I getcha

      I try to be comforting but, erm, have literally made me either angrier or more offended or more sad, etc.

      Also, what thesis exactly?

      • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
        0·
        2 months ago

        it depends. usually i’m trying to just explain a simple idea like “oh dont get mad at yourself for thoughts” or “Youre awesome” and then i just keep explaining. my parents remark that i do this a lot but fortunately that feedback has helped me somewhat improve.

  • yunah-knowles@lemmygrad.ml
    0·
    2 months ago

    one thing that always makes me giddy is cool awesome clouds. my favorite ones are the ones that look crisp as fuckkkk like their shape is so well-defined. everyone look up at the sky today and try to see any cool clouds

    • Makan@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
      0·
      2 months ago

      A cloud appreciator, I see…

      I remember in the early 2000s, you had people literally watching the clouds for fun…

      …I literally can’t stop thinking about the 2000s today (literally even have a thread about it that I made a few hours ago).

    • TabularTuxedo@lemmygrad.ml
      0·
      2 months ago

      Oh yeah, clouds are awesome. I like those that look like those white exhaust trails that airplanes leave behind but in series.