This is stupid.
I was reading airfreshener ingredient labels before cell phones were even invented.
I don’t feel blessed
With the vomit
In my chest
I feel like coughing
Vomit coffin
Vomit coffin
Vomit coffin
Vomit coffin
The clarity for about ten seconds after puking is peak.
Step aside, post nut clarity, there’s a new clarity in town
many years ago a person I knew was using their phone while throwing up, they also happened to be on acid at the same time and they drank wayyy too much fruit punch.
They had been attempting to get to the bathroom while looking at their phone.
It was black and white checkered floor. I wasn’t on acid, so I told my friend to go ahead and to take a shower to cleanup and I’d handle this. This was a reddish brown vomit, looked like a murder scene.
so I told my friend to go ahead and to take a shower to cleanup and I’d handle this.
You are a true friend!
Friend or not, the first step is to stop the accident.
This involves removing any fruit juice and acid puking people from the situation so the qualified personnel can clean up the scene.
The moment after puking and the moment after waking up is the same thought: is it over yet?
So . . . Literal shit post.
It is quite cathartic
This sign completely ignores the existence of the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader and I will not stand for it.
That’s why the neuralink is coming. Think of all the unrealized ad revenue when we’re doing things like sleeping, or puking, or fucking OP’s mom.
vomits so hard I blow a blood vessel in my eye
banner ad rolls into the bottom of my vision and the voice of my mother fills my ears
“Pepto Bismol! 2 for $10! Buy NOW for SAME DAY SHIPPING! Blink twice to BUY NOW!”
“please stop, I’m just hungover”
a different banner ad rolls into the top of my vision and the voice of Sam Elliot rumbles into my ears
“How about a bit of the hair of the dog then cowboy. Buy 2 Fifths of whiskey and get a third for free. Buy now and it’ll arrive right when you get off of work.”
vomits again
Your mom says hi, by the way.
Nirvana of V O M I T
Nirvomit?
If I puke while shitting do I become a god?
You become a gargoile
You get the “leaking from both ends” achievement.
Welcome to norovirus.
So… Ayahuasca?
The great sage Han-Tyumi
Vomit coffin!
I’ve never achieved a Zen state while vomiting. Not from booze, the flu, gastritis, food poisoning, or getting a whiff of
Trumpdog shit.Don’t blame phones for ruining shitting. Before phones, we had shampoo labels to read.
And magazines. Books. Remember how people used to keep books by the toilet and I was always thinking. Ewwwww
Who does that?
but if a friend hands me their phone to show me something I never worry if the last time they went to the bathroom they were holding it.
