What is your tree normally goes straight out with a cut l downward curve? The measurements are the same either way…
it took me way to long to realize y’all talking about penises …
That’s so innocent. Almost like a certain mythical character before opening her eponymous box…
I thought it was optimal street pathways at first, then trees, then got surprised by the amount of genitalia referencing comments then I “realised” thanks to this comment TT
This was my process exactly!
Well, it’s two of us.
What if there is a knot at the base of the branch?
Then you might be measuring a werewolf. Seek professional help.
(I am a professional and can help you measure the knot.)
;)
Burl wood can be quite valuable so you should try to keep that part in one piece
Branches and other small cylinders can be sized using M&M tubes
Banana for scale
The cylinder must remain unharmed
The correct way is to see how deep into a Pringle it can go. For an accurate measure, you’ll need to prevent angled entry. You can help it slide in straight by using a couple guiding sponges on either side of a latex glove attached to the rim pushed up inside it. Put a bit of Vaseline in the glove to prevent tearing the glove with the rough bark. For maximum safety, put the jar of Vaseline in a warm water bath for a few minutes beforehand to make the viscosity better for smooth entry and exit.
That sounds like an awful lot of effort just to jack off a tree branch
gasp! clutches pearls
How dare you imply such vulgarity about my branch measuring device.
I don’t think you need to prevent angled entry; take the deepest measurement achieved at any angle.
You working with a micro twig? Someone’s trimming back the foliage can help make it seem longer.
If you trim the bushes the branch looks bigger. Pro tip.
I can’t use method B, the tree fruit are in the way.
I had just gotten out of the pool!
There was shrinkage!
Nevermind the measurement. How are you going to use the branch?
Bend it straight, then measure
None of them are. You need a graduated cylinder.
282 cm3 here.
This can be easily calculated by the formula [(length x diameter) + (Weight / Girth)] / Angle of Tip^2
This is the way. You have to account for the yaw of the shaft
You measure from the back of the balls.
From the edge of the anus of course… the further edge.
Or… from the base of the skull. The only accurate measurement.
It’s method b both for tree branches and for appendages of different creatures
Personally I start measuring from the middle of my taint 😌
That’s a shoddy way of doing it. There are measurement standards.
Taint to tip is the superior standard
Since the internet began it’s been known that you always measure asshole to tip.
Literally how every guy on Grindr measures…
