Funnily enough, if you actually follow “work to the job, not the clock” you get more work done, and you generally go home early.

You’re also less likely to quit, and more likely to develop and share good practice.

OMFG - quit now. Like today. Fuck these people.

Sharon, your name is Sharon right?

You see, Sharon, scientists have recently developed a microscope so granular in its detection capabilities that one can basically image singular atoms.

Now Sharon, if we were to use this machine on me, you would still not be able to see the level of give-a-fuck about you, your email, or your three fucking minutes that I have.

So, Sharon, do us all a favor, fold yourself in half 6 times and fuck off.

• unionize
• direct action

totally balanced reaction

You can buy my effort or you can buy my time.

I guess this is a bit different to someone constantly being 10 minutes late and leaving 5 minutes early, because that sort of thing can get annoying.

Good morning Sharon,

I apologize for leaving three minutes early yesterday. In my day-to-day, I tend to focus on completing my tasks efficiently and effectively. Labor is the force that turns the gears in our company, and productivity is the grease that makes our labor fruitful. While I spent 7 hours and 57 minutes yesterday ensuring high productivity, unfortunately, I found it difficult to keep track of every minute that passed during my highly effective contributions.

To my great fortune, you prioritize monitoring clocks. That is your great value-add to this company: you observe the segments of each hour, and provide a human-generated report that cross-references the passively generated output from a clock with identified employees and include a general description of start-stop milestones. Yes, we already have software that features this exact function, and one could argue that you most likely leverage these generated reports to send your findings and summaries to employees who made the same observations during their interactions with the software. But that’s an impressive and unique quality of yours! Where others see plagiarism and redundancy, you’ve strived to prove that persistence and insistence can justify your attendance at this company.

Others may ask, “What value does that bring?” Or, “How does she still work here?” But they lack the imagination to see your amazing potential! Because you’re known for your expert timekeeping and ability to synthesize truths about value-loss based on arbitrary observations, you must also be able to identify value overages from other such arbitrary observations during your daily efforts to observe the passage of time!

While you’re obviously busy generating evidence of your value to this company, I ask for your assistance within your area of expertise:

“Find a way to cover this from one of the days that I accidentally took a short lunch or left late, you useless fuck.”

Much appreciated,
TheFartographer

Story time: I once had an employer who had me defend myself personally because he saw my Skype go online a few minutes after the official start of work. That same boss was known to sleep half of the day in his own office.

A few months later I was fired and sued their asses. I got a nice compensation out of the settlement.

Its not even real. I see people engage wirh fake posts here, and fake Ai channels on YouTube. Its like some people cant see what is fake, or they are bots designed to upvote fake things.

That’s how you know she’s a good manager

Fake af

Sharon is the new Karen

Hey Sharon I noticed you clocked out a few zeptoseconds before the end of your workday. Let’s try to be a little more accurate, hey?

Just go for a 3 minute wee wee before leaving

Holy shit, i would be so fucking lazy and difficult for the next week probably 2 if someone sent me an email like this.

My pettiness knows no bounds when it comes to power hungry twats like this one.