Is that Stromae? Don’t do him dirty like that!

MY favourite business likes maximizing for +YoY profit forever. It’s quirky like that. It loves me.

‘Favourite companies’ sounds like another way of saying Stockholm Syndrome.

Well first I’d worry that all these people look alike. I mean – are they quintuplets? And if so are we supposed to ship them with each other? Because that’s… creepy. (Not because they are all male – I write a lot of M/M stuff. I have no problem with that. But shipping brother with brother? That’s… just a little beyond my comfort zone)

Second – why are they all male? (Just curious).

Third – why is there a weird half person at the end? Was he cut in half during a tragic mining accident that left him forced to live the rest of his life as half a man? Or half a woman? And will this half woman or half man ever be fixed? Or are they happy? And – most importantly – am I putting way too much thought in to this?

Fourth – lets assume this is just some weird aberration where five (or five and a half) people all look alike but aren’t related, so you can ship them and get them to boff like bunnies.

Clearly you don’t get Google & Apple – you don’t get ANYONE and Apple (Apple is the Draco Malfoy of the technology world – evil, ambitious, cunning but ultimately alone and a little sad and will never understand why everyone pretends to like them but really despises them).

Sony & Disney – would make great films together.

Netflix & Disney – would conquer the streaming market together but should never be allowed to get together because they would team up and conquer the world.

(Okay. I’m done).