I love how the government is now just assholes in a shitty group chat.
I sure hope Derek wears a cape.
Derek getting mad laid now.
If the contents of my friends’ group chat got leaked… people would just think we’re fucking idiots, not terrible people.
Good work, Derek. Be better, losers in that chat.
derek is still a cunt though. If you join and find shit you don’t like the first thing you should do is confront people. Either derek just likes causing people problems (and is a problematic individual) or he is not very bright and thinks that everything people say must be 100% true and serious.
I would not ever want to be friends with derek, that’s for sure.
Derek is a decent person, so you don’t have to worry about that.
yeah idk call me schizo all you want but i’m not huge on being friends with someone willing to drop everything to make me look the worst fucking person possible.
Derek did literally everything possible to cause fallout here, he really didn’t need to go that far.
It’s not hard to not be a shit person. That includes in private.
Derek did nothing wrong.
derek still did a shitty thing though. Regardless of how you look it.
How would you feel if you invited a few people to your home and then found out one of them secretly recorded audio the entire time? That’s the equivalent of screenshotting messages in a small group chat.
Unless you were literally planning crimes, the actual content of the conversation is irrelevant to the principle.
If, in my home me and my friends are sharing sensitive info about past relationships and other actions that can embarrass or hurt people, then exposing that is for the best. I mean where is the limit, if you’re invited to a chat where they’re massively racist and sexist, do you think that deserves to be exposed or do you just keep everyone’s dirty secrets no matter what?
idk i’d probably leave, and if anybody ever asked me about i’d say i didn’t like it. If i saw concerning behavior i would probably de-associate from those specific people. Not grenade an entire friend group over it, that’s extra.
It’s not my place to manage friend group politics.
If I see concerning behavior, I feel the need to say something because it’s concerning. More girls will be embarrassed, more people could be exploited, it’s not ok. I feel like seeing that, knowing you can do something, and choosing not to is pretty close to condoning it. It’s not about friend group politics; there are people outside the friend group who are being passed around in that without their knowledge or consent, and that’s not ok. I wouldn’t care if it was just guys with dark memes.
Using your same metaphor, if you came to another person’s house and all they did was shit on their family, and then make dark jokes about killing them - is it all fun and games until something bad happens?
There are lines. You don’t know what Derek saw.
But apparently it was so bad that a lot of people are really disgusted at the core group.
that’s true, but judging by this thread people are also really sensitive about this kind of shit, so it wouldn’t take very much for people to get pissed off like this.
Yeah, I’m one of those people. I have this apparently strange sensitivity to people sharing intimate photos of others without their consent or knowledge. Feels very exploitative. I’m just one of those people who doesn’t like to sit back and let people hurt others like that for the lols of a group chat.
weird that you mention sharing explicit photos, because that’s something that didn’t happen. If we’re to believe OP, that is.
Flip side: how would you feel if you shared your most vulnerable, intimate moments with one trusted person, only to realise that you’ve been recorded, shared around and commented on in a group chat full of acquaintances?
Can you see how Derek just delivered karmic justice?
I’m not saying it’s not awful, but I still think that publicly telling everyone is inappropriate. Derek basically did the same thing as them.
yeah but half of those were previously recorded, the worst thing in that chat is probably the text messages from the one dude specifically. Maybe making fun of people behind their back? But it really depends on how that went down, could be primarily for venting it’s hard to say without having concrete examples. So i’m giving the benefit of the doubt on that one.
I think that’s obtuse, comedy has no limits: As long as you don’t act upon uncomfortable / morally reprehensible ideas you joke about, you aren’t any worse or better than if you had never joked about it. I would argue that exposing a bunch of people for what they joke about with no evidence that they’ve actually done something wrong is far worse than joking about offensive subjects. (one has zero negative affects, the other has many)
(I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)
(I must say I disagree completely with that guy sharing messages from his girlfriend- that piece is very weird and a total breach of trust)
My impression from the original post was that kind of stuff was what drove most of the fallout. Leaked off color memes aren’t going to ruin people’s relationships, but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.
but leaked shit talk or breaches of someone else’s privacy will.
shit talk and leaking messages is pretty bad, but that’s really common these days unfortunately. I wonder how frequently texts like that are shared between female group chats. Depends on the person, and the group, but they are just more connected.
Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo. Commonality of occurrence certainly doesn’t make it any less wrongful. I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.
i’m not saying it is, but from what i understand women tend to have a more cohesive social group, and tend to talk about things between them a lot more, so it would reason that there is a larger chance of stuff like this breaking out into that conversation.
Men just don’t really talk about their personal lives all that much. And when they do it’s usually shitposting.
Speaking ill of someone not present to defend themselves is commonly in bad tastes, imo.
to be clear, i would generally agree with this, unless it’s understand to be venting/not seriously considered. It might be weird in the latter half, but it’s a lot less rude if it’s an inside joke specifically among a group of people.
I don’t think it’s a gender specific issue based on the story being about guys doing this.
and to be fair, if we’re going full gender difference analysis, i think guys are a lot more likely to have a group chat like this, than women, so there’s that.
Everyone on here is an insufferable twat.
If the public got to hear first hand all the black humor that goes on in the EMS field, society might further collapse.
Keep in mind the source of this story. The author has every reason to describe the stuff on their group chat sound tame, so if it sounds bad, it’s probably 3 times worse than that.
How do you know that?
Because they’re a fucking idiot, duh.
Easy, by having an inflated ego and a holier than thou attitude! 👍
I really thought this was going to be a satire post about the Yemen bombing Signal chat group leak based off the reddit title.
I don’t blame you, thought the same and already seen a few today.
I was inspired to post this story in light of recent events.
Thank you for your service.
i was waiting for the guy to come out as a us official as the punchline
There’s a lot of overlap with this and the leak.
Honestly I see correlation between this, the Trump Locker room talk, the Blizzard and Riot sexual harassment cases, etc.
same
edit: pawb.social user spotted
It’s a good post though, relevant but not another post about the same damn thing lol
I thought this was going to be satire about the Atlantic editor being accidentally included in war room group chats. Lol.
Derek is bitch-made.
To narcissists everything is someone else’s fault.
Is the person who made the comments a narcissist, yes. Is the person who screen shorted it and shared it also a narcissist, absolutely.
“Hmmm should I expose all the offensive photoshops and derogatory things they did said about specific people?” No that’s not narcissist by itself.
They hurt everyone else involved intentionally do to a sense of self richeousness. It’s a textbook definition of narcicism.
If someone calls the person they are going through a breakup with a self richeous dingbat who likes to tear down everyone around them in a private chat it’s not a nice thing to do. It also didn’t hurt that person until Derek brought it to their attention in an attempt to hurt the speaker while upsetting/hurting the person who was called names. Especially digging up things from years ago. These people aren’t running for office, they are kids dealing with life in a place of privacy. The number of people I’ve heard call soneone a little dicked asshole who isn’t good in bed is around 50. Never once would I think spreading that information to them or their friends group would be for the greater good. The person is hurt and lashing out. It’s often best to let them recover and sort out their own situation. If they were making plans to harm someone that’s another story, but that isn’t what happened here it appears.
I don’t know about you, but I am very reluctant to insult others, even in private conversations, even if they might deserve it
I always try to approach things constructively, because in the end, those patterns and thoughts bleed out into the world and your behaviour
And do keep in mind, even from the poster’s side of the story, it sounds pretty darn bad, and people have a tendency to downplay their side’s wrongdoings and elevate the other side’s. Chances are, it was probably quite bad
If there’s people in my life that go around talking badly about other like that, even in private… yeah, I’d want to stay the hell away from them too. It’s just a massive warming sign, and you’re going to be the target sooner or later. And you don’t want a coordinated group acting in bad faith against you
At the point of sharing photos and Photoshopping someone to ridicule them, this isn’t an offhand comment said in frustration. This is planned and executed ridicule and mockery. He’s exposing the people for who they are because he thought their “friends” should know who they are and what they are doing. Not for the intent of “hurting everyone else involved intentionally due to a sense of self righteousness”. Whether you agree with what he thought or not, it’s not narcissism (by itself).
It’s also super bizarre that you want privacy for them when they are fucking sharing photos (the context reading they were private) and sharing “raunchy texts”. Where was the privacy for their victims huh? They deserve what they got.
At the point of sharing photos and Photoshopping someone to ridicule them, this isn’t an offhand comment said in frustration. This is planned and executed ridicule and mockery.
i mean, we also don’t know what they are. It could be really bad, but it could also be harmless shitposting among the community.
You can look at the descriptors they chose to use, and that’s very likely playing it down big time. I’m betting it was extremely bad.
yeah, but we also don’t know what they are posting, so it’s equally shitty to assume that what they are posting is substantially bad.
Though assuming by the fallout, it seems like it was pretty bad? But then again i’ve seen friend groups break up over smaller shit.
So shitposters were shitposting. Don’t be bitches and act surprised when people are offended. Own that shit. It was meant to offend, that’s what makes it funny. I’ll join their discord and shitpost too. Call me a “bad person” all you want. idgaf.
Not so much a bad person as someone who vehemently opposes opportunities to be better.
Fuck that. Why do I need to be better? I don’t give 2 shits about virtue signalling. I don’t have to convince the world that I’m a good person, I know my own virtues and I know that I am; so I’m allowed to joke about horrific shit all the fuck I want.
All of this performative outrage from people is silly. You’re not a bad person just because you like dark humor or shitposting.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, but you have a choice to mock / belittle other people and their issues or not to. You may get repercussions for joking about sensitive topics like these people did, but that’s not really the point.
There are no prizes for choosing not to use dark humor beyond personally knowing you may have spared someone a little bit of suffering. If that matters to you, take it into consideration. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too… I just advise you to remember your choice, why you took it and observe how it makes you feel and what it makes you become.
And there are all kinds of shades of gray here, too. You can joke around once in a while if you want to, but extreme attitudes tend to cause extreme consequences.
And just to be clear, I’m not claiming to be an example of anything. I used to be the dudes Derek hung out with. Hell, i still am if you catch me on a bad day. Just sharing what I feel those decisions taught me.
Whatever you choose, hope it’s for the best.
You’re not a bad person just because you like dark humor or shitposting.
This is absolutely true.
Why do I need to be better? I don’t give 2 shits about virtue signalling. I don’t have to convince the world that I’m a good person, I know my own virtues and I know that I am; so I’m allowed to joke about horrific shit all the fuck I want.
This is the part that makes you a bad person no one wants to be around.
This is the part that makes you a bad person no one wants to be around.
Again. Wrong. Plenty of family and friends, and a whole region of my state who come to me for advice on cnc related shit, so you missed the mark there too.
Only people who avoid me are well…people like you, who think you need to “display” how good of a person you are. Most normal people understand humor and aren’t perpetually offended. Go touch some grass and meet some people outside for once. The majority of people on Lemmy and Reddit are not what the world would consider ‘normal’.
Look at this red neck hick over here drinking cheap beer who things he’s a god because people tolerate him enough to use him for his tiny island of knowledge around cnc machines.
The only line of work he can maintain because the machine doesn’t judge him for his horrendous stench and ogre like appearance.
Even if we put aside the poor taste jokes and insults, sharing private conversations like what OP said his friend did is wrong and especially shitty since their purpose was to mock the other person
Do you believe someone can’t be internally motivated to encourage and uplift their peers, or at the very least feel guilt when they laugh at someone’s expense?
Just wondering because I was like that: I told racist jokes, had plenty of similar friends, thought trans people were fooling themselves, and anyone who challenged me was pretending to be offended. I was obviously fine because I had good life.
Then I got older, met more people, learned more stories and when my old friends made fun of the new ones, I felt off about it. Decided I would rather hang out with the people who accepted everyone, made me feel good, and were still funny, just in a different way.
I still feel awful about the things I said and did and kinda wish I had noticed the signs sooner. While I was embraced by one group, I was being excluded from others and didn’t even know it.
I donno man, live your life the way you want.
Can I ask if you are part of a group that regularly gets belittled, made fun of, or generally disrespected? Do you embrace those jokes and stereotypes that are at your expense and laugh along with them such as “That is TOTALLY us! We are crappy just like that meme says!”?
You are ignoring the bit where this was a private conversation. They wouldn’t need to laugh along with jokes at their expense because, in the context you are discussing, they would never even be aware that the jokes were made.
My question is not contextualized against the original example in this thread. You’re welcome to create your own line of questions to them if you like.
I think you forgot the part where they passed around nudes of partners. W/o consent.
Post LITERALLY said they DID NOT do such a thing.
the post literally says no nudes??? Are you dumb or stupid? I can’t tell.
Joking about those things does not make him any better or worse, it’s comedy. Ending that behavior is not an opportunity to be better.
I donno man, I’m no authority on morals but all things being equal I’d rather be around someone who doesn’t share their girlfriend’s sexts with their buddies.
Yes but this clearly wasn’t about that. If it had been he’d just screenshotted that part and focused on that. But he’s a weirdo so he screenshotted 5 years of content, anything that could remotely offend anybody, to make the maximum amount people mad.
I’d say it’s about that, because that is one of the things that group is about, the group this person wants to join.
Oh no. The consequences of my own actions have come back to haunt me
I suddenly feel better about my group chats, it’s all gay memes, positivity and anti-capitalist revolution.
Same, are we in the same group chat??
Naw, I only just got my pals into Lemmy. Glad to know there are other havens out there, though.
Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism
If I had to explain some of my in-group chats, it would be complicated and awkward, but not life-destroying.
Me and my buddy have the nuke thing going. Mutually assured destruction 😎
Well.
Depends on how fash the US turns for me
I think my saved memes are 50/50 funny and concerning
The thing is, on Lemmy these are pretty normal… but for my very conservative grandma who hardly understands what a lesbian is…
Im pretty sure that pipeline meme is depicting my nibling.
What’s a nibling?
Gender nuetral term for offspring of my sibling.
Thank you!
Not to disrespect if that’s what your relative prefers, but nibling is actually the gender neutral for niece/nephew. Sibling is already gender neutral as sister/brother are the gendered terms.
Did you just “actually” me without reading my comments? Go back and try again, this time assume I used the exact words I meant to use.
Yeah I misread it, I’m not sure such an aggressive response was warranted but thank you for letting me know.
that’s what they said, offspring of sibling
What’s the first one?
Scissoring (a common sesbian lex position)
But why the Bible idk what reference?
Biblically accurate angles are nightmare fuel.
Angels described in the bible aren’t people with pretty bird wings. They are oscillating, intersecting ribbons of eyes and feathers, pulsing and shifting and glowing.
Here is an example:
A reference to the „biblically accurate angel“ meme, which is a bit hard to describe so I recommend just looking it up at seeing the pictures to get the reference
…in movies
You just concentrated 4 top tier shitposts into a single comment.
just dont admit to them?
Disappearing messages people!
Can’t have my group chats leaked if I don’t have any!
Thanks for that comparison :(
Sorry, I’m 100% sure you are a much better person than Musk.
Friends can be hard.
I saw your comment and though of this meme I saw in a thread about the Signal group chat about bombing people in Yemen.
