https://lemmy.nz/post/18610200/13255360

This user describes how most of the women-centered communities on Lemmy were shut down due to harassment of their members.

Another user adds “We need a safe space, but most of the women I know on here don’t have the time or energy to moderate it. And there’s so few of us, it feels like it’s not worth the effort anyway.”

  • WhatSay@slrpnk.net
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    5 months ago

    I had much more toxic behavior at reddit, but it is hard to imagine any safe space online anywhere.

    • spujb@lemmy.cafe
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      5 months ago

      it definitely depends where you go on all platforms. blahaj zone is good, world is bad. places moderated by mods with actual experience are generally good, places moderated by jordanlund and similar get pretty toxic pretty fast. :(

  • Lvxferre [he/him]@mander.xyz
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    5 months ago

    Yup, that’s a problem. Specially because, once the gender ratio gets too skewed towards one side (it is), the Petrie multiplier kicks in; then the sexism targets each woman more and more frequently.

    Potential solutions that I see for the problem:

    • Perhaps creating a few instances for women? I don’t mean instances to talk only about feminism, but for general stuff. With higher standards against harassment.
    • Better mod policing against harassment. Collective action, so it’s easy to say and hard to do it, I know.
      • Lvxferre [he/him]@mander.xyz
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        5 months ago

        I think that it would be a good start. But only a start; sexism is a social problem, so even if you ban the individuals saying sexist stuff, you still see sexism elsewhere.

        And even if you ban overtly sexist users, others will keep:

        • focusing on topics typically enjoyed by men, and typically disliked by women;
        • interpreting what each other says based on masculine social norms;
        • assuming that they’re dealing with other men unless explicitly told otherwise;

        etc.

        That’s still aggravating, you know? You can’t pinpoint why but it still makes you feel unwelcome.

      • Ech@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        The admins of what? There is no singular “admins” of the Fediverse. That’s kind of the whole point.

          • Ech@lemm.ee
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            5 months ago

            I still don’t read it that way, but assuming it is, that is still unreasonable. There are simply too many differing viewpoints, by design. The best option for this sort of thing is to start a female focused instance. It won’t be able to affect the wider fediverse directly, but it would be able provide the space that is seemingly absent atm.

            • Lvxferre [he/him]@mander.xyz
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              5 months ago

              If I’m reading it right, I also disagree with it, on a practical level; it’s like herding cats and not enough. I also think that an instance for women is the way to go, at least at the start.

              However, to be fair with drag those actions aren’t mutually exclusive, and even if only a few admin teams keep a closer watch on sexism, it’s already improving the situation.

            • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzOP
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              5 months ago

              There are simply too many differing viewpoints, by design

              The instances which support women don’t have to federate with the instances whose viewpoint is that harassing women is fine.

              • Ech@lemm.ee
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                5 months ago

                Maybe they should, but it’s not going to be a black and white issue for most admins. There’s a reason instances like blahaj and yiffit exist. A space like that for women would be the most realistic way to get the protections for female users in the fediverse that you’re saying should exist.

  • Wxnzxn@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    It seems to be one of the problems where Lemmy feeling a bit like old Reddit is really, really bad. Remembering from back then, it took many years of concerted effort and dedicated subreddits attacking sexism (that were in turn harassed and hated on by the “mainstream” Reddit audience, like SRS for example) to slowly change the culture. And it’s not like Reddit is some sort of safe haven even now.

    • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzOP
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      5 months ago

      So, something like Hexbear’s the_dunk_tank, but against bigotry? Not sure any of the admins on the Fediverse would allow a community like that. Everyone in charge here seems very anti-drama, which is another word for pro-status-quo

  • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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    5 months ago

    I run a few communities that I would consider to be fairly women-oriented, or at least I would expect them to be interested. I do not expect many men to be interested, and hey that’s okay. I welcome anyone who wants to, but no harm if it’s not your thing.

    But any post that gets made gets downvoted to hell. I routinely have to moderate and remove posts of “Why is this here” and “This is stupid” even though there are people who enjoy it, they are just swarmed by other commenters, and it’s made my members less active.

    It’s pretty clear how people vote and act here, I’m coming up on 2 years here and it’s been like how you’d expect. Downvotes don’t mean “I don’t think this adds to the conversation” or “This is appropriate”, they mean “I personally don’t like this” here, and I think that kills a lot of our smaller communities.

    • inlandempire@jlai.lu
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      5 months ago

      I’ve experienced this (though on a much smaller scale), Lemmy should have the option to disable downvotes for users not subscribed to a community, or at least not members of the instance

      • Jomn@jlai.lu
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        5 months ago

        I really like the idea of having to be subscribed to a community in order to be able to vote. It would encourage people to use the correct tools (subscribe/block) if they like or don’t like a community itself.

    • Secret Music@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 months ago

      Very disappointing to find out the real reason why women-oriented communities aren’t exactly thriving here. But not surprising, I guess, although I was expecting better from a platform that seems so generally left wing. Can’t even expect the men here to stomp that shit out. And now I’m waiting for someone to come and respond something along the lines of “not all men” while not addressing or confronting the issue or taking any steps to push for change.

      Edit: aren’t admins able to see who is downvoting? So basically the admins of your instance are just sitting back and allowing certain people to ruin things for others in communities that don’t concern them?

      • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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        5 months ago

        I can, but the problem is how do you sort out genuine downvoters from as you put them, the stompers? I’ve been working with a few other admins to have a more automated solution. Right now I have to go into the database and do queries about once a month to find trends

        • Secret Music@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          5 months ago

          If it’s a particular community being targeted, I’d probably start with people who aren’t subscribed or don’t contribute but camp out downvoting everything anyway. I mean, to me it sounds very much like this user’s community is being blatantly targeted, so I’m not sure I understand why trends still need to be researched before anything can be done about it.

          But I’m not an admin and I actually don’t know what tools you have available to you. I was just under the impression that you could see when people who don’t actually belong to a certain community go there just to downvote everything. Reddit managed to make people fear consequences for downvote brigading though, not sure how they pulled it off.

          If this really is something that admins on various Lemmy instances are just too helpless to do anything about, then I apologise for directing my anger towards admins. And then I don’t know what the solution is either because without any sort of assistance in the matter, women are just going to give up even trying to set up spaces here (actually seems like that’s already happened for the most part). And so the culture will just never change.

          • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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            5 months ago

            From the UI, we get to see who downvoted a post, but nothing more than that unfortunately.

            Trying to see who consistently downvoted posts, or who does who isn’t subscribed is not available in the UI and requires going in the database and running scripts. Which I do, but it’s a whole other later that I need to automate but haven’t had time to do.

            • macroplastic@sh.itjust.works
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              5 months ago

              I’d be happy to write a bunch of sql for this type of thing and throw it on github if you have any more specific requests / if instance admins would find it helpful

      • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzOP
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        5 months ago

        So basically the admins of your instance are just sitting back and allowing certain people to ruin things for others in communities that don’t concern them?

        Yes.

        • Secret Music@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          5 months ago

          I feel like fucking rioting now lol. Hopefully one of these days there’s enough of us here that see red over this shit to do exactly that.

      • Goldmage263@sh.itjust.works
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        5 months ago

        I was devastated from the most recent US election as I learned a similarity between all political views is hating women. On another note, it’s been 17 hours and I am immune to sarcasm; NoT aLL mEn

    • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      I think I understand why one of your communities is getting downvoted, it probably attracts some dedicated megas. I’ll try to go in and upvote to counter act. I’m not a fan, but I’ll try to help out.

      Reddit used to have a rule that you couldn’t downvote more than 3 or 4 posts in any community for a certain period. They went inactive while still showing as active. I think that might have been the beginning of fuzzy votes, but turned into so much more shittyness. It still might be a good solution for here. I still think mods should also be able to tag users as default, it’s really hard to remember who was hateful yesterday and troll baiting, but acting all nice today.

    • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      Apparently mods can and do ban people who just downvote everything they see, there’s even been posts here about it.

      Perhaps this is the solution?

      • lath@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Yes. The correct solution is to kick them out. Why are they even there if it isn’t to participate? If the topic is inappropriate, make a report and let the mods handle it.

        • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzOP
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          5 months ago

          Drag’s philosophy on content policing is this:

          The mods choose the rules and remove content that breaks the rules. The users downvote and argue with content that disrupts the space without breaking the rules. If actions that disrupt the space without breaking the rules create a pattern, the mods create a new rule. The users decide if they agree with the new rule. If they don’t, they create a new community and the two compete.

          Downvotes are absolutely essential to this ecosystem. Platforms without downvotes, like Twitter, suffer for it. The algorithm can’t tell the difference between hostile engagement and positive engagement, so comments that damage the space and provoke arguments are boosted as long as they don’t break the rules badly enough for the admins to get involved. Some platforms try to solve this problem by having mods and admins do three times as much work to remove all the comments that would be downvoted. This causes mod fatigue and over-moderation.

          Downvotes are a disagree button BUT your disagreement is public, and if your disagreements form a pattern, the moderators should be able to action it.

          What Lemmy needs is better mod tools to show analytics on downvotes (technical problem; could be solved by any determined programmer), and better action on downvotes from the admins (social problem; requires the community to dump instances that don’t moderate their users)

          • lath@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            Better mod tools are a repeatedly requested feature. The question remains whether it’s being ignored or it’s difficult to implement and cover the entire fediverse.

            • Wxnzxn@lemmy.ml
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              5 months ago

              My guess is a bit of a mixture of both - but it at least can’t be a trivial thing to implement, or else it probably would already have been added to the project by someone, it’s free software and open source after all.

              • lath@lemmy.world
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                5 months ago

                Not necessarily. As free and open as it is, not everyone can add to it. There have been some caught, yet almost successful attempts to insert malicious code in open source software.

                Also, the contributors might be passing on the torch thinking in the same way. And far as I remember, the original devs did a similar thing by letting others add in whatever.

                So I’d say that until someone says they’re specifically working on it, nobody actually is.

            • m-p{3}@lemmy.ca
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              5 months ago

              Which will in fact just be a combined “block user + hide post” action in the backend 😏

      • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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        5 months ago

        It is, I just wish it wasn’t. I don’t want to ban people for having negative opinions, but there are a lot of people who only downvote, and for them it’s the only option. There also aren’t tools to easily automate it.

    • CatZoomies@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Thanks for running those communities. I try to post to one of them where I can (I.e., make memes), but I’m not really a content creator. I just like to lurk in comments and respond when I feel like it’s worth me putting in my opinion or effort.

      I’m aligned with your perspective. Hard to create or promote content when people downvote it due to hive mind. It’s discouraging and unwelcoming because it sends the signal “why is this here, you don’t belong in Lemmy”.

      • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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        5 months ago

        Thank you, Zoomies, that means a lot, honestly. I’m not one either, but I try to keep them going. I see the upvotes, people enjoy it, but I think many are a bit nervous to comment, but it’ll grow eventually. I’m going to put some time on this over the next week to automate something I think

        • CatZoomies@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          One thing I need to do is try to comment more. Hard to come up with stuff to say. And I’m one of those folks that types stuff, then second guesses it and backs out from posting.

          I upvote what I can, but that’s always bare minimum effort. Consistent commenting is much more effort. And the extremely hard part is making original posts along with memes. I have no idea how Picard Maneuver does it. Bro carries Lemmy on his back alone lol.

          • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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            5 months ago

            I appreciate when you do, and I think others do too. One of the things I had to do was just stop caring about what other people thought. If they liked it, they’d upvote, or maybe they’d downvote, but no matter what you’re adding to the conversation. I just dump out whatever I’m thinking now!

            I do have to step up my meme game tho

    • Lvxferre [he/him]@mander.xyz
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      5 months ago

      Downvotes don’t mean “I don’t think this adds to the conversation” or “This is appropriate”, they mean “I personally don’t like this” here, and I think that kills a lot of our smaller communities.

      Yet another nasty redditism inherited by Lemmy… and frankly that’s why I think that we should have multiple types of downvote, this way people can express their disagreement in a fast and pseudo-anonymous way without fucking everything up.

      • .Donuts@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        It’s just the internet, not necessarily a redditism.

        And instead of a rainbow of downvoting options, just disable showing the vote counter.

        This way, you can still downvote, but nobody sees the end result except maybe mods and admins for moderation purposes.

        You can still use the upvote/downvote ratio to sort comments or posts in your feed, but it would be working under the hood instead of out in the open.

        • r.EndTimes@lemm.ee
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          5 months ago

          I like seeing it, this site has less value without it, why are you on lemmyworld when it has upvotes/downvotes? You have other options without them.

      • chuymatt@startrek.website
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        5 months ago

        Kind of like slashdot modding of yore? I don’t recall if they still do it, but they had multiple positive and negative tags for moderation.

  • Riley@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    It’s especially jarring coming from Mastodon, which is broadly more diverse than Lemmy. I’ve witnessed some really questionable comments here during the last year. I really hope something can be done to improve things. I think a feminist-specific instance might be the best option, much in the way someplace like Hexbear has managed to create a fairly strong community bloc with strong core beliefs.

    • Diva (she/her)@lemmy.ml
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      5 months ago

      Sadly hexbear doesn’t have a ton of really active comms specific to women. Though at least they’re very aggressive removing misogyny across the instance. It’s been categorically less stressful posting on hexbear vs the rest of lemmy simply because I’m not then checking an inbox with replies/dms calling me ‘removed’ or ‘it’ or other charming insults.

      Removing downvotes makes sense too, though I also like keeping them and using them to ban people abusing it. The voter is only visible to admins though.

      • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzOP
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        5 months ago

        Hexbear might be safe for binary women, but as far as drag can tell, they’re still sexist against a few million other gender identities. Drag went to Hexbear and searched for discussions about dragself pronouns. It wasn’t good.

        • Diva (she/her)@lemmy.ml
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          5 months ago

          I wasn’t able to find posts drag is referring to, as near as I can tell both instances drag uses defed hexbear. Feel free to send me a link.

        • GrammarPolice@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          Not exactly the point. Spaces reserved for a specific community of people alone tend to be breeding grounds for extremist viewpoints and toxicity

          • iheartneopets@lemm.ee
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            5 months ago

            Not sure you can call half the population a ‘community’ but OK. Women come from all walks of life and ideologies as I’m sure you’ll have to imagine.

            Also, even in the majority of women-centric spaces in the internet, men are still allowed s long as they aren’t assholes. The only purpose would be to make a specific spot where women can post without fear of being harassed.

            • GrammarPolice@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              If you’ve participated in any women-centric sub on Reddit you’ll know what I’m talking about. Try r/Askwomen or r/feminism. The toxicity on those subs is over the roof.

              Something similar might happen if women-centric instances (not even communities) are created. Kinda like a hexbear-esque situation.

              • iheartneopets@lemm.ee
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                5 months ago

                I have for years and haven’t seen any of the toxicity you’re talking about, except towards men showing up being right cunts. I’m guessing that’s how you encountered it, too.

                • GrammarPolice@lemmy.world
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                  5 months ago

                  Nope, there’s toxicity there and it’s widely complained about on Reddit (including women themselves) - especially concerning the first two subs i mentioned. Have you considered you’re one of the toxic participants?

  • flatbield@beehaw.org
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    5 months ago

    Keep in mind that this is probably very instance dependend. I am from Beehaw which generally does not tolerate this sort of thing and this expectation is stated very clearly. For us down voting is not even possible. We also do not federate with nodes that cause the biggest issues. So there are things that can be done but it is not perfect and has consequences.

    Just mentioning.

    Edit: Even with that, there has been discussion of Beehaw leaving the threadiverse due to these issues and lack of mature moderation tools. Not sure where that stands.

  • Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 months ago

    The is why dull_mens_club gives me really bad vibes. Any similar community aimed at women would be harassed into oblivion.

    • NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io
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      5 months ago

      Any similar community aimed at women would be harassed into oblivion.

      And why is that a problem with dull men’s club? I mean I’m not subbed to it but it occasionally appears in my feed (I browse /all) and it seems to be just what it says on the cover: A dull men’s club.

  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 months ago

    Lemmy is a relatively small and niche platform, imo small platforms tend to be like that. First men show up, then transfems, and then cis women. We seem to be at the second stage and while things can be done better (like a female only instance) I do think things will get better.

  • Azzu@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    I think it’s much better then literally anywhere else on the internet. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, but unfortunately everywhere else is worse. As such, I’m not sure whaz the solution is for Lemmy in particular.

    Everywhere where it seems “better” is just moderation making it seem like that.

    • Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 months ago

      There’s many internet spaces that are better than lemmy regarding misogyny, any platform that does not have a strong majority of cis men is probably better than lemmy.

      • Azzu@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        I haven’t seen any comments not removed by moderators. Unfortunately there’s a time discrepancy between comment made and action taken.

        If this time discrepancy didn’t exist, I think we’d be perfectly fine.

        • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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          5 months ago

          I don’t think there is a way to have real time moderation without having bs like pre-approval of messages or AI snake oil. Which I am strongly against.

          • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            5 months ago

            Something like automod might work, but then you’re just playing the linguistic cat and mouse game with the people who want to be shitty and are willing to test boundaries.

            • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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              5 months ago

              Yes. It does not work without severely limiting what people are allowed to say. I do believe anonymous communities don’t work without moderation, but I also believe blanket censorship is bad.

              I have no good answer :(

  • acargitz@lemmy.ca
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    5 months ago

    In Mastodon, this is typically solved with defederation, block lists, and admins enforcing mod policies. How come this approach doesn’t work for Lemmy? Is it not decentralized enough?

    • spujb@lemmy.cafe
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      5 months ago

      it’s not decentralized enough is exactly the answer. lemmy.world holds a huge portion of users and communities despite having middling at best moderation. illustrating this, one of my favorite communities (196) just recently tried to force everyone to migrate to .world. fortunately, the community at large openly rejected that absurd move, but it definitely exemplified the centralizing forces at play.

    • Luffy@lemmy.ml
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      5 months ago

      Yes. Just look at .world. As long as world is still federated into other communities, the fediverse is not federated.

  • Secret Music@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    5 months ago

    Thanks for the enlightening thread. And that puts a dampener on the enthusiasm that I was feeling for this place. Not that I should be surprised or anything.

    I might misunderstand how things work here but it sounds to me like if entire communities are getting bombed by downvotes, then it’s the various admins across instances that are allowing this to happen. And it puts a bit of a dark cloud over this place now for me.

    • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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      5 months ago

      One of our admins was banning people if they saw you only downvoting. This place is so much better than reddit, that growing pains are fine with me.

    • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 months ago

      Blahaj.zone has disabled downvotes, so at least that part can’t be weaponised against folk on our instance.

      As for the rest of it, yeah, lemmy is better than reddit, but it did get a lot of users from reddit, so its still closer to reddit culture than I’d like. But, it’s also got a lot of better aspects than reddit ever did, and hopefully that trend will continue

      • Wxnzxn@lemmy.ml
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        5 months ago

        I think it would be interesting to see how the experience of women pans out by instance. I can imagine it being a fundamentally different experience on blahaj or beehaw, when compared to more generalist instances like .world

        • Secret Music@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          5 months ago

          Which is a problem, IMO. Maybe the solution is to have a women focused instance and I would be all for it. But also, that’s a little bit like India having a women only train because the men are too rapey on other trains. It allows safe passage for women for now but doesn’t actually fix or address the problem of rapey men.

    • SoftTeeth@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Another issue that’s starting to pop up in “inclusive” communities that don’t have active enough mods and admins is users had to start policing their own spaces, and then the admins get upset with the vitriol directed at the trolls and force the community to repsect the trolls and wait until the reports eventually get through.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        5 months ago

        Fuck off with your targeted bullshit drama.

        Not only are so you juvenile as to to bring it up in this context, you’re clearly more interested in being a passive aggressive little bitch about the thing or you would never have seen this post in the first place after you blocked OP like a responsible adult.

        • SoftTeeth@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          This is part of the history of this space

          Sorry if I don’t agree with your revisionist take

          You’re the one whining like a little bitch here

  • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Back when I used Reddit, one of my favorite subs was TrollX. If we had a sub with that spirit, it would be a good start.

    Are there secret communities on Lemmy? Not that secret communities should be a default, but I was invited to a secret sub on Reddit years ago that was all women. It was a true safe space from harrassment, where we could talk about feminine things that we knew wouldn’t gain traction in main subs. I have no idea how it started, but I knew that users who were invited to join had previously been vetted by the sub’s mods - they saw that I’d made feminist posts and multiple comments about being a woman, and didn’t go around picking fights. It was like a background check.

    I don’t believe there is any one solution, but starting with dedicated communities (in the spirit of TrollX), with mods that smack down misogyny and (actual) trolls, sounds like the best way to start.